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Hello.
I'm not entirely sure what I want to say or what to ask. The 'knock' happened at the beginning of the week and I was obviously unaware. He was taken to be questioned whilst I was left at home whilst it was searched.
I'm currently on a never ending rollercoaster of emotions. I find it easier when he is struggling because I step into the supportive role. I have told my family and a couple of close friends but really do not want to tell anyone else.
We work at the same place and I have no idea how I am going to even survive a day there.
I'm still super confused and trying to make sense of it. How can your life be turned upside down so quickly?
I'm not entirely sure what I want to say or what to ask. The 'knock' happened at the beginning of the week and I was obviously unaware. He was taken to be questioned whilst I was left at home whilst it was searched.
I'm currently on a never ending rollercoaster of emotions. I find it easier when he is struggling because I step into the supportive role. I have told my family and a couple of close friends but really do not want to tell anyone else.
We work at the same place and I have no idea how I am going to even survive a day there.
I'm still super confused and trying to make sense of it. How can your life be turned upside down so quickly?
I'm sorry no-one has replied to you. I hope you are doing okay and have got over the initial shock. Take it day by day. It's likely that nothing will happen for a long time with the police. They said it would be 5 weeks but it was 7 months before they contacted just to say they still hadn't looked at the devices and 2 years to get to court.
If you have children I would think that social services have contacted you by now.
It's good that you have close friends to confide in but the people on here understand the devastation and confusion you are feeling.
Try and look after yourself.
If you have children I would think that social services have contacted you by now.
It's good that you have close friends to confide in but the people on here understand the devastation and confusion you are feeling.
Try and look after yourself.
Hi sweetie, sorry you have joined us but you are in the right place. First take care of you as said above its can take a long time my husband took just over a year. We are still together and it's been hard, but communicate as much as you can, honesty now will help. Have you phoned LFF help line it is fantastic and your partner should, they really helped my husband. Hugs sweetie xxx
Hi,
I'm sorry you've had to join our 'club.'
You say you work together. Are your work aware of the investigation? Unless you work with children etc your under no obligation to tell your employer yet.
I was in a similar position but unfortunately my employers didn't keep it confidential so just have a think about who you are going to tell. It may be best just to keep it to a few very trusted friends/family for now.
Please reach out on this forum if you are struggling. There are so many people on here who will offer support and not judge.
You're not alone through this. The LFF telephone helpline is also really helpful.
Take time for yourself during these first few weeks. Try and rest. The shock of what you've gone through is very upsetting. Have a look at breathing exercises for anxiety if you are struggling. I find they help alot.
Sending you hugs x x x x x
I'm sorry you've had to join our 'club.'
You say you work together. Are your work aware of the investigation? Unless you work with children etc your under no obligation to tell your employer yet.
I was in a similar position but unfortunately my employers didn't keep it confidential so just have a think about who you are going to tell. It may be best just to keep it to a few very trusted friends/family for now.
Please reach out on this forum if you are struggling. There are so many people on here who will offer support and not judge.
You're not alone through this. The LFF telephone helpline is also really helpful.
Take time for yourself during these first few weeks. Try and rest. The shock of what you've gone through is very upsetting. Have a look at breathing exercises for anxiety if you are struggling. I find they help alot.
Sending you hugs x x x x x
Hello,
I just wanted to say that my husband was arrested at the start of the week, too. He and I also work together. This is all new to me and my head is reeling, but you are not alone. Sending strength & best wishes.
I just wanted to say that my husband was arrested at the start of the week, too. He and I also work together. This is all new to me and my head is reeling, but you are not alone. Sending strength & best wishes.
Thank you so much for these responses. I actually posted a few weeks ago but think it got lost.
We work with children so obviously he is not there anymore. I have reached out to the helpline which has been incredible. Also having counselling.
I think my main thing is that I have no capability of being open with him about my feelings or thoughts because he is already hurting and I do not want to add to that. He has moved out and the space is helping because I was so aware of where he was in the house and what he was doing.
I think you're all incredible! X
We work with children so obviously he is not there anymore. I have reached out to the helpline which has been incredible. Also having counselling.
I think my main thing is that I have no capability of being open with him about my feelings or thoughts because he is already hurting and I do not want to add to that. He has moved out and the space is helping because I was so aware of where he was in the house and what he was doing.
I think you're all incredible! X
Me too, knock came Tuesday morning. He was arrested and never heard another thing till 8pm Wednesday night. He's staying away from the house just now. 2 teenage daughters, angry and upset. I just don't know what to do for the best.
It's great that you posted and that you know this is a place to look for support. That must be so hard working at the same place. I don't know if many others do but I spoke to my GP and got signed off work with stress for 2 months after the knock, with a further month as a phased return. I felt guilty about it as I love my job but I couldn't fake being okay and I am lucky to have a really supportive work place. It has made the world of difference taking that time. It meant that I could save up all of the emotions for work days (when my kids have childcare) and have that time to let it out, process and focus a bit on me (or the housework). I would advise anyone who can to take that time. Whatever the outcome it is a huge trauma and a grieving process so be kind to yourself however you can.