Cutting someone out
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My father was found to have indecent images on his phone last year. I have 2 young children with another one on the way. My husband since the minute he found out has stopped my father seeing the grandchildren (our kids) who he would have seen every week before. It has been really difficult and my father has since moved out of the family home. I have had no contact with him for months as I find it too hard to talk to someone who can't have anything to do with my kids. Every day I have conflicting emotions of feeling guilty that my father is lonely, then thinking my husband is right to not let the kids see him. The rest of my family are all still talking to my father we are the only ones who are not and my husband finds this incredible. My marriage has suffered hugely and I just feel like the happiness is sucked out of my life. I have no one to talk to that understands. I am living a lie every day. I hate him for what he's done but I'm resentful to my husband as I feel he is callous about the situation and my mother has been of very little support as she has been trying to deal with it herself aswell. Don't feel I could tell any friends as they would not understand
Hi Mary Jo
I don't have the answer for you, only you can decide if you would like to stay in contact.
However this is how we have to live now
My husband and I are grandparents of 3 grandchildren. We have 3 daughters and one has children. He had 3 cat C in a deleted file.
He has not seen his grandchildren since the knock as SS have to be involved, and they walked in told my daughter never to see her dad again and get on with her life, this totally frightened her as we have never dealt with anything like this before.
She does however keep in contact with him, they talk just about general things. It's very hard and our life has changed loads.
I now visit my grandchildren on my own and my hub has never met the youngest. They also now never visit my home.
Please take care of you, this will be a shock and your emotions will be all over the place.
Ring the helpline, speak to your GP they will listen.
Anne
I don't have the answer for you, only you can decide if you would like to stay in contact.
However this is how we have to live now
My husband and I are grandparents of 3 grandchildren. We have 3 daughters and one has children. He had 3 cat C in a deleted file.
He has not seen his grandchildren since the knock as SS have to be involved, and they walked in told my daughter never to see her dad again and get on with her life, this totally frightened her as we have never dealt with anything like this before.
She does however keep in contact with him, they talk just about general things. It's very hard and our life has changed loads.
I now visit my grandchildren on my own and my hub has never met the youngest. They also now never visit my home.
Please take care of you, this will be a shock and your emotions will be all over the place.
Ring the helpline, speak to your GP they will listen.
Anne
@MaryJo
I am in a similar situation and I'm really struggling with the mix of emotions I'm feeling.
I hate my dad for what he's done to my family but I love him cos he's my dad.
I'm angry with him for putting me in this situation but I feel guilty that he's in his own and we've all abandoned him.
I'm upset that I have to lie to my children about why they haven't seen him and feel sad that my kids have lost their beloved Grandad.
My husband hasn't been very vocal about the kids seeing my dad or not, but I'm not seeing him anyway so it hasn't been a problem yet. I just don't know what the future will bring. I feel betrayed and heartbroken that my dad could do this to my family.
I am in a similar situation and I'm really struggling with the mix of emotions I'm feeling.
I hate my dad for what he's done to my family but I love him cos he's my dad.
I'm angry with him for putting me in this situation but I feel guilty that he's in his own and we've all abandoned him.
I'm upset that I have to lie to my children about why they haven't seen him and feel sad that my kids have lost their beloved Grandad.
My husband hasn't been very vocal about the kids seeing my dad or not, but I'm not seeing him anyway so it hasn't been a problem yet. I just don't know what the future will bring. I feel betrayed and heartbroken that my dad could do this to my family.
My hb is in prison for Indecent images and I have lost so much,but my hb has lost more. I can see the grandchildren at theirs, they cannot come to mine when he comes home. Our daughters have some sort of relationship, that still has a lot of work. My hb will not see the grandchildren for many years but we will make it work. But this has not been easy and we still have ups and downs. Your get there, there is no right or wrong answer. Hugs xx