Loneliness
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Hi
Almost a week since I found out my son had been messaging minors two of my nieces included. He'd also tried to kiss my 15 yr old niece.
My partner isn't his Dad and after the initial shock where he was ok about it. Well not ok he called him all the usual names etc.
Hes now decided he's the victim my son has caused him problems for the last two years with his drug habit stealing etc
Hes bringing all the past up saying my son has always been like this he hates hearing talk to my other children saying this isn't our John.
Hes saying my son is this person how he's suffering because of my son told me I'm not a victim not been supportive in anyway towards me. We've slept in separate beds and sat in separate rooms have not spoken. My son is currently in hospital after an attempted suicide but on discharge his bail says he's to return home
My partner has said he cannot come home I'm to send him somewhere get the police to rehouse him.
His dad can't take him as his partner refuses to have him in her house.
Ive nobody to ask to take my son and to kick him out when he's reached his lowest point ever isn't in me I love my son and want to support him and aid his recovery from his past.
The drugs changed my son and now he's finally realised it
Its gonna be a long hard journey for us but I feel so alone
I can't see away forward with my partner he's beyond reason this is all about him and what it's done to him.
Maybe a garbled post but my heads not here
thank you in advance for any response or advice and for letting me have somewhere to get this out
Almost a week since I found out my son had been messaging minors two of my nieces included. He'd also tried to kiss my 15 yr old niece.
My partner isn't his Dad and after the initial shock where he was ok about it. Well not ok he called him all the usual names etc.
Hes now decided he's the victim my son has caused him problems for the last two years with his drug habit stealing etc
Hes bringing all the past up saying my son has always been like this he hates hearing talk to my other children saying this isn't our John.
Hes saying my son is this person how he's suffering because of my son told me I'm not a victim not been supportive in anyway towards me. We've slept in separate beds and sat in separate rooms have not spoken. My son is currently in hospital after an attempted suicide but on discharge his bail says he's to return home
My partner has said he cannot come home I'm to send him somewhere get the police to rehouse him.
His dad can't take him as his partner refuses to have him in her house.
Ive nobody to ask to take my son and to kick him out when he's reached his lowest point ever isn't in me I love my son and want to support him and aid his recovery from his past.
The drugs changed my son and now he's finally realised it
Its gonna be a long hard journey for us but I feel so alone
I can't see away forward with my partner he's beyond reason this is all about him and what it's done to him.
Maybe a garbled post but my heads not here
thank you in advance for any response or advice and for letting me have somewhere to get this out
Hi Victoriacake,
It sounds like this is a very difficult time for you at the moment but well done for reaching out for some support on here. I can see that you have received support from other Forum members on other posts but hopefully other forum members who have any advice or support to offer will reply to this post soon. In the meantime, I would just like to remind you that our Stop It Now! helpline (0808 1000 900) is available for you to speak through any issues and concerns you may have around your situation, with a trained and empathetic helpline operator. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone from a landline. Having a loved one commit these kinds of offences can evoke conflicting and confusing emotions, especially when you may have other loved ones who are finding this situation difficult. It can be helpful to talk these thoughts and feelings through with someone independent of the situation.
I would really encourage you to speak with your GP who is best placed to provide you with generalised support around this if you are struggling at this time.
I hope you are able to find the support you need.
Best wishes,
Lucy
It sounds like this is a very difficult time for you at the moment but well done for reaching out for some support on here. I can see that you have received support from other Forum members on other posts but hopefully other forum members who have any advice or support to offer will reply to this post soon. In the meantime, I would just like to remind you that our Stop It Now! helpline (0808 1000 900) is available for you to speak through any issues and concerns you may have around your situation, with a trained and empathetic helpline operator. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone from a landline. Having a loved one commit these kinds of offences can evoke conflicting and confusing emotions, especially when you may have other loved ones who are finding this situation difficult. It can be helpful to talk these thoughts and feelings through with someone independent of the situation.
I would really encourage you to speak with your GP who is best placed to provide you with generalised support around this if you are struggling at this time.
I hope you are able to find the support you need.
Best wishes,
Lucy
Oh hunny what a dire situation you are in. Your partner is entitled to his own opinion but he should be supporting you not making you feel like you have to choose.
Would he consider calling the helpline himself to try to understand? It could be good for you both to get that support.
As for your son if he cannot live with you he needs to be referred to your local council for housing support with temporary accommodation xx
Would he consider calling the helpline himself to try to understand? It could be good for you both to get that support.
As for your son if he cannot live with you he needs to be referred to your local council for housing support with temporary accommodation xx
Hello
I empathise with you , my son has just received a caution for committing an offense. For the last 5 months it has been difficult but we have supported him and he lives with us. Your partner should understand how you feel and he should be supporting you. Trying to find some common ground, drawing up some boundaries with regards to how you can all live together peacefully. It hasn't been easy and maybe because your partner is not his father he hasn't got that emotional attachment . I would do what you feel is best for you and your son . I would always stand by my children . If you don't mind me asking how old is your son . Believe me you can turn this around and things can get better but sometimes you need outside help to do that so seek help from LFF, GP and maybe a supportive friend/s .
I empathise with you , my son has just received a caution for committing an offense. For the last 5 months it has been difficult but we have supported him and he lives with us. Your partner should understand how you feel and he should be supporting you. Trying to find some common ground, drawing up some boundaries with regards to how you can all live together peacefully. It hasn't been easy and maybe because your partner is not his father he hasn't got that emotional attachment . I would do what you feel is best for you and your son . I would always stand by my children . If you don't mind me asking how old is your son . Believe me you can turn this around and things can get better but sometimes you need outside help to do that so seek help from LFF, GP and maybe a supportive friend/s .
Hi Victoria cake
That is an awful situation to be put into. Your son is the one who needs your support at the moment and your partner should not put you into a position to have to choose.
My son is coming up for release from prison and his sister is causing lots of fuss about me even picking him up but I'm ignoring her best as I can saying she has a right to her opinion but so do I. I hate what he's done and the grief to the family he has caused but he is essentially the same kind and caring son he's always been until he spirralled down this road. It's taken my son a very long time to open up and ask for help and I want him to have the best chance to recover and not to reoffend. My daughter has a husband and lots of support so can get on being grumpy for a while.
I am lucky as my partner has been brilliant and very supportive as he again doesn't agree with what my son has done but thinks if family and friends don't support him he will be drawn back down the same dark path again.
I hope your partner does come round and he understands right now your son needs you.
Big hugs
That is an awful situation to be put into. Your son is the one who needs your support at the moment and your partner should not put you into a position to have to choose.
My son is coming up for release from prison and his sister is causing lots of fuss about me even picking him up but I'm ignoring her best as I can saying she has a right to her opinion but so do I. I hate what he's done and the grief to the family he has caused but he is essentially the same kind and caring son he's always been until he spirralled down this road. It's taken my son a very long time to open up and ask for help and I want him to have the best chance to recover and not to reoffend. My daughter has a husband and lots of support so can get on being grumpy for a while.
I am lucky as my partner has been brilliant and very supportive as he again doesn't agree with what my son has done but thinks if family and friends don't support him he will be drawn back down the same dark path again.
I hope your partner does come round and he understands right now your son needs you.
Big hugs