Feeling stresed
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On Friday, I finally received copies of the reports from SS. The case closed in 2019 but after some confusion was reopened at the start of this year and has now been closed again.
Long story short, husband says he used his credit card to download music from 2002-04 and because it was in the days of rubbish internet, he would find users with the music he was interested in, download all and delete what he didn't want. He got the knock on the door in 04 and was found with 143 images of varying categories. He has always maintained that he didn't do it with intent and that he might have seen one or two images but deleted and thought nothing more of it.
His solicitor advised him to plead guilty because the facts were the facts and images were found but there was no evidence as to what had or hadn't been viewed.
I met him in 2010 and he was open with me about this. 2016, our son was born. At that time he struggled with severe depression (suicidal).
2018 we had a knock on the door again. In 2017 he had made up a story about our 12 year old neighbour on a chatroom. He has always said that he did it to see if he was the monster people said he was and then he went back, called everyone sick and that was it.
He hasn't been allowed to live with us since 2018 and SS have never done a risk assessment on him. There reasons for not allowing unsupervised contact is based on the offence of 2004 and of course, 2017 doesn't help matters.
I have read SS report and there is a lot of talk about how I refuse to believe 2004 was done with intent when the facts are the facts. Unfortunately, there are no court or Police records of the case confirming what the Judge said about was there any evidence to say the files were viewed.
Aside from 2017, my husband has always been open with me about the events from 2004 and knowing how his head works, I can believe his story of events from 2017.
I'm feeling stressed because the SS reports say that when I had the safer carers assessment done in 2019 I said that he admitted having sexual thoughts about children and he never did.
They have also never carried out a risk assessment on him or wanted to read the Psychotherapist report that was completed on him in 2019/19.
I am not in love with my estranged husband but at the same time, I want to know he is being treated fairly. I understand they have my son's best interests at heart but as my husband suffered from PND and struggled to bond with him as a baby and he was so depressed, I genuinely believe he would never harm our son.
Is it a normal outcome for the Dad's to only be allowed to have supervised access until a child is in their teens/older? He is 4 years old now.
My estranged husband wants to contest the outcome but I am wondering what your experience is.
Thanks for listening.
Long story short, husband says he used his credit card to download music from 2002-04 and because it was in the days of rubbish internet, he would find users with the music he was interested in, download all and delete what he didn't want. He got the knock on the door in 04 and was found with 143 images of varying categories. He has always maintained that he didn't do it with intent and that he might have seen one or two images but deleted and thought nothing more of it.
His solicitor advised him to plead guilty because the facts were the facts and images were found but there was no evidence as to what had or hadn't been viewed.
I met him in 2010 and he was open with me about this. 2016, our son was born. At that time he struggled with severe depression (suicidal).
2018 we had a knock on the door again. In 2017 he had made up a story about our 12 year old neighbour on a chatroom. He has always said that he did it to see if he was the monster people said he was and then he went back, called everyone sick and that was it.
He hasn't been allowed to live with us since 2018 and SS have never done a risk assessment on him. There reasons for not allowing unsupervised contact is based on the offence of 2004 and of course, 2017 doesn't help matters.
I have read SS report and there is a lot of talk about how I refuse to believe 2004 was done with intent when the facts are the facts. Unfortunately, there are no court or Police records of the case confirming what the Judge said about was there any evidence to say the files were viewed.
Aside from 2017, my husband has always been open with me about the events from 2004 and knowing how his head works, I can believe his story of events from 2017.
I'm feeling stressed because the SS reports say that when I had the safer carers assessment done in 2019 I said that he admitted having sexual thoughts about children and he never did.
They have also never carried out a risk assessment on him or wanted to read the Psychotherapist report that was completed on him in 2019/19.
I am not in love with my estranged husband but at the same time, I want to know he is being treated fairly. I understand they have my son's best interests at heart but as my husband suffered from PND and struggled to bond with him as a baby and he was so depressed, I genuinely believe he would never harm our son.
Is it a normal outcome for the Dad's to only be allowed to have supervised access until a child is in their teens/older? He is 4 years old now.
My estranged husband wants to contest the outcome but I am wondering what your experience is.
Thanks for listening.
Hi Sophie79, I don't have children so I can't really help I'm afraid. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you are struggling, like me and many others I'm sure.
I really can't understand why have psychotherapist, and psychologists, if their professional opinions are ignored just because it doesn't suit what other professionals want to achieve. I had that recently, the reports meant nothing. It's all so disheartening and disappointing. I lack any trust now in anyone.
i hope you get some help and advice from some mums soonxxx
I really can't understand why have psychotherapist, and psychologists, if their professional opinions are ignored just because it doesn't suit what other professionals want to achieve. I had that recently, the reports meant nothing. It's all so disheartening and disappointing. I lack any trust now in anyone.
i hope you get some help and advice from some mums soonxxx
Thank you, Tabs and sorry, my reply didn't post!
It's so frustrating that they don't really look into the root cause and consider rehabilitation.
My estranged husband is suicidal and I can't be honest with people about what I am going through, I am the only one who he can talk to but it's hard for me too.
I don't understand how some families are able to stay together.
xxx
It's so frustrating that they don't really look into the root cause and consider rehabilitation.
My estranged husband is suicidal and I can't be honest with people about what I am going through, I am the only one who he can talk to but it's hard for me too.
I don't understand how some families are able to stay together.
xxx