Moving on?
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Hi, this is the best place I can go to as you all understand what's happening.. sorry if a bit long
my husband got taken in for questioning 2 years ago (exactly) he was talking to an undercover police officer but believed he was talking to a 12 year old girl. He spoke with her for 5 weeks through the kik app. But it also turned out he had affairs and spent 6 years at least (that I know of..) chatting online and meeting up with women. I felt stupid after 15 years of marriage and four children I couldn't believe it. He went to court just over a year ago had a big fine, community service and 5 years on the register, we broke up and he moved out to the nearby town I moved to a different house in my town, he sees the girls once a week for a couple hours but there's no boundaries he walks in the house without knocking like we are friends changes the music over etc. He loves his life without any of the responsibilities. I don't know how to move on..
but more importantly he's moved on he's been with a new girlfriend for a couple of weeks apparently took my children to meet her Saturday with her 11 year old daughter. It didn't come out in court thankfully and I haven't told my friends to protect my girls and now Im just waiting for it all to come out because he's got with this woman. I'm certain he won't have told her what he's done, so what do I do now? Tell the school, social services? I have to don't i? This poor child. My daughter has gone to school today saying she has a new step mum and a new step sister.. my eldest children know the youngest ones don't know.
my husband got taken in for questioning 2 years ago (exactly) he was talking to an undercover police officer but believed he was talking to a 12 year old girl. He spoke with her for 5 weeks through the kik app. But it also turned out he had affairs and spent 6 years at least (that I know of..) chatting online and meeting up with women. I felt stupid after 15 years of marriage and four children I couldn't believe it. He went to court just over a year ago had a big fine, community service and 5 years on the register, we broke up and he moved out to the nearby town I moved to a different house in my town, he sees the girls once a week for a couple hours but there's no boundaries he walks in the house without knocking like we are friends changes the music over etc. He loves his life without any of the responsibilities. I don't know how to move on..
but more importantly he's moved on he's been with a new girlfriend for a couple of weeks apparently took my children to meet her Saturday with her 11 year old daughter. It didn't come out in court thankfully and I haven't told my friends to protect my girls and now Im just waiting for it all to come out because he's got with this woman. I'm certain he won't have told her what he's done, so what do I do now? Tell the school, social services? I have to don't i? This poor child. My daughter has gone to school today saying she has a new step mum and a new step sister.. my eldest children know the youngest ones don't know.
Hi
How is your ex able to walk in your house, does he have a key? Because I think you should change the locks and set some boundaries with him. You are never going to be able to move on otherwise.
I'm still with my hub and the OIC said if we were to separate and he met someone else he had to tell them straight away. He could be in breach if in a new relationship with a young child.
I'm sure somebody will have more knowledge and will be able to help.
Anne
How is your ex able to walk in your house, does he have a key? Because I think you should change the locks and set some boundaries with him. You are never going to be able to move on otherwise.
I'm still with my hub and the OIC said if we were to separate and he met someone else he had to tell them straight away. He could be in breach if in a new relationship with a young child.
I'm sure somebody will have more knowledge and will be able to help.
Anne
To help with closure (to some degree) you can set boundaries. If you are not comfortable with his behaviour in your own home you have every right to take a stand.
With regards to the new relationship with a child involved I'm pretty sure he has to disclose his SOR status. It is up to you but I personally would report to the police (or his police liaison if you know who they are). He may not be a risk but I would hate for his gf to go through finding out about his offending feeling like the last person to know. Better sooner rather than later so that if the women finds out she can walk away if she wants more easily.
Big hugs
With regards to the new relationship with a child involved I'm pretty sure he has to disclose his SOR status. It is up to you but I personally would report to the police (or his police liaison if you know who they are). He may not be a risk but I would hate for his gf to go through finding out about his offending feeling like the last person to know. Better sooner rather than later so that if the women finds out she can walk away if she wants more easily.
Big hugs
Thank you both he doesn't have a key but my back doors always unlocked if I'm home, he just walks in and goes over the the children. I'll speak to him next time o see him. I just don't understand how he can just go start again? He's messed up my children, my eldest is most affected missing school etc and he just gets to have a new life with a different family like he's done nothing wrong. It's so unfair! After a couple of weeks with this lady and meeting her once , one of my daughters says she has a new step mum and a step sister.