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Hi Everyone.
Very new here. Searched and not sure if anyone is in the same boat.
I'm the child of a perpetrator. I should say I'm mid 30s and have a child of my own.
Since "the knock" I have cut all contact. It's been established, as far as it can be, that there was no risk to my child. I'm just looking for advice really on how to move forward.
Not sure how I tell my child that their grandparent will not be in their life anymore. They're only 4.
Or really just how to start on what I should be doing next?
Thanks
Very new here. Searched and not sure if anyone is in the same boat.
I'm the child of a perpetrator. I should say I'm mid 30s and have a child of my own.
Since "the knock" I have cut all contact. It's been established, as far as it can be, that there was no risk to my child. I'm just looking for advice really on how to move forward.
Not sure how I tell my child that their grandparent will not be in their life anymore. They're only 4.
Or really just how to start on what I should be doing next?
Thanks
Hi Pointless,
You say that your father is a perpetrator... Was it a contact or an online offence? If it was an online offence then it may not be as black and white as it seems. Read rhe posts on understanding why.
You have every right to make whatever decision you choose for your child but try not to do anything too hasty... You have ever right to be angry and the shock takes a while to settle.. If ever.. But keeping your child away from their grandad is a big decision and one not to be made lightly. Xxx
You say that your father is a perpetrator... Was it a contact or an online offence? If it was an online offence then it may not be as black and white as it seems. Read rhe posts on understanding why.
You have every right to make whatever decision you choose for your child but try not to do anything too hasty... You have ever right to be angry and the shock takes a while to settle.. If ever.. But keeping your child away from their grandad is a big decision and one not to be made lightly. Xxx
Thank you for your replies. I'll have a proper look and see what I can find.
I wrote the post when I was a bit emotional. I guess I don't know what else to call him. It was all online but early days so I actually have no idea to what extent.
I should have probably also mentioned that although I've considered this man to be my dad for 20 years. He's not my dad. So that's another thing, which is a bit difficult to deal with.
Thank you for the suggestions. The information on here is so helpful. Being completely objective I can "understand" how he's got himself into this situation. I know other people come to totally different decisions but I can't see that I'll ever be able to get past it.
I wrote the post when I was a bit emotional. I guess I don't know what else to call him. It was all online but early days so I actually have no idea to what extent.
I should have probably also mentioned that although I've considered this man to be my dad for 20 years. He's not my dad. So that's another thing, which is a bit difficult to deal with.
Thank you for the suggestions. The information on here is so helpful. Being completely objective I can "understand" how he's got himself into this situation. I know other people come to totally different decisions but I can't see that I'll ever be able to get past it.
my dad was arrested too in June 2020. Still living it - every day.
I don't have children but my sister does! .. 2 under the age of 5.
He still sees the children.
maybe you're just in shock - I know at first my sisters first reaction was to say he wasn't seeing the kids anymore. But that changed quickly.
You're dad isn't a monster just like Mine isn't - everyone's story is different but usually starts the same.
what was your dad arrested for?
I don't have children but my sister does! .. 2 under the age of 5.
He still sees the children.
maybe you're just in shock - I know at first my sisters first reaction was to say he wasn't seeing the kids anymore. But that changed quickly.
You're dad isn't a monster just like Mine isn't - everyone's story is different but usually starts the same.
what was your dad arrested for?