If I admit I’m finding it hard to cope will I lose my children?
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Sorry but this may be a long post as I've not been on a while and have loads of negative thoughts in my head.
im having trouble. I find it easier to forget about what my ex has done and just get on with my life but my SW wants me to know what he's done but I don't want to hear it said out aloud. It's easier for me to tell myself he's made a big stupid mistake and concentrate on my children, work, the home and trying to carry on as normal I can for myself and the kids. She keeps insisting I should know and I feel she will think I'm unable to keep my kids safe or understand the enormity of what my ex has done if I insist I don't want to know and this will go against me in my upcoming assessment.
since my sw told me they would start legal proceedings to have the kids removed if they think he's been anywhere near them I dread the phone ringing or every knock at the door. He's not been near them at all which the youngest child who doesn't understand what's going on asks daily for him and gets upset saying he wants daddy. I fear if they think he has it will be my word against there's. I only meet up with my ex once a fortnight to hand him his mail and this is away from home and at the local shopping centre when the kids are in school. I nearly walked out of work one day as I couldn't quieten the voice in my head telling me over and over that they are going to take my kids away.
I hate my health visitor she waits till the core group to fetch any health concerns up. I've wasted my doctors and there receptionists time by making appointments to just ask questions and chase up queries she's raised which come to nothing. When I've explained why I've rang/visited The receptionist has commented on the health visitor being too keen. I've had to waste a few appointments having my sons medication assessed because the health visitor said he didn't need it. Doctor says he does and to carry on as we are. I did ask the doctor if she was more qualified than him and her word had more authority than his? He said no. I have a great relationship with my doctor and I think he's great.
school ring regularly to ask why my youngest has a mark or cut on him? When they ask him he tells them he doesn't know or that I've done it (I've never laid a finger on him) my sons to young to understand the enormity of what he's saying. I've told him that he shouldn't say such things that are not true but then again will SS and school feel I'm trying to hide or cover something up if he says mummy says I shouldn't say it but...?
my SW has raised concerns about my ex's mental health and how he's coping with it all. She asked if I speak to him regularly. I usually phone him a couple times a week (usually to ask something DIY or technical to do with the home) I agreed with her that I thought he was struggling too. But what about me? No one asked about my mental health. No one sees the state I'm in after a SW meeting or a core meeting. How much I beat myself up mentally. How I over annalise everything they say. Howl I get angry that I feel they don't listen to me. How I get angry that I didn't say what I wanted to say.
I wish it was all over with and a part of me wishes he was in prison then maybe everyone would back off and let me get on with my family.
I don't expect any replies I just needed to vent thanks for reading.
im having trouble. I find it easier to forget about what my ex has done and just get on with my life but my SW wants me to know what he's done but I don't want to hear it said out aloud. It's easier for me to tell myself he's made a big stupid mistake and concentrate on my children, work, the home and trying to carry on as normal I can for myself and the kids. She keeps insisting I should know and I feel she will think I'm unable to keep my kids safe or understand the enormity of what my ex has done if I insist I don't want to know and this will go against me in my upcoming assessment.
since my sw told me they would start legal proceedings to have the kids removed if they think he's been anywhere near them I dread the phone ringing or every knock at the door. He's not been near them at all which the youngest child who doesn't understand what's going on asks daily for him and gets upset saying he wants daddy. I fear if they think he has it will be my word against there's. I only meet up with my ex once a fortnight to hand him his mail and this is away from home and at the local shopping centre when the kids are in school. I nearly walked out of work one day as I couldn't quieten the voice in my head telling me over and over that they are going to take my kids away.
I hate my health visitor she waits till the core group to fetch any health concerns up. I've wasted my doctors and there receptionists time by making appointments to just ask questions and chase up queries she's raised which come to nothing. When I've explained why I've rang/visited The receptionist has commented on the health visitor being too keen. I've had to waste a few appointments having my sons medication assessed because the health visitor said he didn't need it. Doctor says he does and to carry on as we are. I did ask the doctor if she was more qualified than him and her word had more authority than his? He said no. I have a great relationship with my doctor and I think he's great.
school ring regularly to ask why my youngest has a mark or cut on him? When they ask him he tells them he doesn't know or that I've done it (I've never laid a finger on him) my sons to young to understand the enormity of what he's saying. I've told him that he shouldn't say such things that are not true but then again will SS and school feel I'm trying to hide or cover something up if he says mummy says I shouldn't say it but...?
my SW has raised concerns about my ex's mental health and how he's coping with it all. She asked if I speak to him regularly. I usually phone him a couple times a week (usually to ask something DIY or technical to do with the home) I agreed with her that I thought he was struggling too. But what about me? No one asked about my mental health. No one sees the state I'm in after a SW meeting or a core meeting. How much I beat myself up mentally. How I over annalise everything they say. Howl I get angry that I feel they don't listen to me. How I get angry that I didn't say what I wanted to say.
I wish it was all over with and a part of me wishes he was in prison then maybe everyone would back off and let me get on with my family.
I don't expect any replies I just needed to vent thanks for reading.
Hi Rusty
unfortunately I can't give you any advice about SW and how they work . It was my son who committed an offence and got a caution. But as a mother going through something like this whilst caring for young chiilder as a single parent must be so difficult. Have you considered calling the LFF /counselling as they maybe able to help you process your thoughts in a more positive way . I am sure you are doing great. caring for you family but negative thoughts can be so destructive. Try and focus on all the good things you are doing and maybe tell the SW how you are feeling.
I wish you all the very best
unfortunately I can't give you any advice about SW and how they work . It was my son who committed an offence and got a caution. But as a mother going through something like this whilst caring for young chiilder as a single parent must be so difficult. Have you considered calling the LFF /counselling as they maybe able to help you process your thoughts in a more positive way . I am sure you are doing great. caring for you family but negative thoughts can be so destructive. Try and focus on all the good things you are doing and maybe tell the SW how you are feeling.
I wish you all the very best
Rusty
I hear you, I just want to let you know your not alone we are here, rant as much as you like don't bottle it up. This is the only place you won't be judge. I so wish we could all hug each other, we are amazing, how we hold on.
Sending you a virtual hug
Anne
I hear you, I just want to let you know your not alone we are here, rant as much as you like don't bottle it up. This is the only place you won't be judge. I so wish we could all hug each other, we are amazing, how we hold on.
Sending you a virtual hug
Anne
Thank you all for replies each one brought tears to my eyes for u taking the time to reply and for showing support when I felt so alone in it all. I'm sorry we are all here for no fault of our own x