OUTCOME
Notifications OFF
So finally after 15 months of pure hell we have an outcome! My H was charged with less than 100 images mostly cat c over a period of a month, He was going through a massive breakdown at time. Judge gave him 2 year community order, mandated counselling, shpo and 5 years on register. I feel this was a good outcome considering what I've read of other people's situations. The judge apparently liked my character reference as I was openly honest. The H did the Lucy faithful modules and has been in contact with the helpline. Through loads of discussions my H problem is definitely a porn addiction spanning many years, and after a unique set of circumstances everything collapsed and he went down the dark hole. He hasn't lived at home since his arrest, as I wanted this address where my kids are to be left out of court documents and it has been. I will not be having him back either until he has done all the counselling and community order things he needs to do. One thing I've learnt on this journey is that we (us wives) cannot fix them likewise for other family members, they themselves have to want to change, I am seeing lots of positive steps with my H, and we have days as a family together, dinners after work, so he knows he has something to work for. But I have put down very clear boundaries on what I will/won't accept, and I follow through with consequences just like I would do with my children. Educating myself on addiction has really helped me understand alot of things, I would highly recommend you all to do it if you want to look at moving forward with your Husband/partner/relative etc. I am now currently living in fear of the media reporting stuff and that's a whole new battle, but just having the courtcase out the way has helped my mental health xx good luck to you all that are still waiting xx happy to answer any questions you may have too xx
Hi Owl
your husbands case sounds similar to that of my brother,whom received a 2yr supervision and conduct order, with 2 yrs on the SOR.
like you we are now fearing the media backlash, but hoping that it doesn't come to light.
my brother is continuing with councilling and has focused on dealing with his situation and helping others through his sessions with SAA and Stopit now along with his participation in the conduct workshops to be scheduled. He also accepts that he has been suffering from depression and isolation and is addressing both of those issues with his GP.
hope your family can find happiness moving forwards and your husband gets his issues addressed. X
your husbands case sounds similar to that of my brother,whom received a 2yr supervision and conduct order, with 2 yrs on the SOR.
like you we are now fearing the media backlash, but hoping that it doesn't come to light.
my brother is continuing with councilling and has focused on dealing with his situation and helping others through his sessions with SAA and Stopit now along with his participation in the conduct workshops to be scheduled. He also accepts that he has been suffering from depression and isolation and is addressing both of those issues with his GP.
hope your family can find happiness moving forwards and your husband gets his issues addressed. X
That's fantastic news, my husband went to prison but it was a he of a lot more and for a lot longer. Your right about not being able to fix them, they have todo it themselves. Well done you for staying strong. Xx
It is good to hear you got feedback on the character reference. The judge for my partner never mentioned whether the references submitted made a difference or not. But I also recommend them just in case.
I remember the relief after the sentencing. Conditions are clear and you can figure out what to expect e.g. when police need to be notified of changes, get into routine with community service etc.
Hopefully the media won't pick up on it. Maybe step away from social media if you haven't already just in case
I remember the relief after the sentencing. Conditions are clear and you can figure out what to expect e.g. when police need to be notified of changes, get into routine with community service etc.
Hopefully the media won't pick up on it. Maybe step away from social media if you haven't already just in case
Hi owl,
I'm so pleased to hear that your Husbands case has concluded.. As positively as possible and you can start to rebuild your lives.
I prey for no media hell for you all.
I hope your post inspires others to come back and share their stories once they are out the other side of this.
Lots of love xxxx
I'm so pleased to hear that your Husbands case has concluded.. As positively as possible and you can start to rebuild your lives.
I prey for no media hell for you all.
I hope your post inspires others to come back and share their stories once they are out the other side of this.
Lots of love xxxx
Hi Owl,
Thanks so much for sharing your outcome. We're almost there too, after 10 mths of not knowing, bail extended etc., my husband has a court date towards the end of May.
I just want to know now, I need an outcome to even start to move forward. We have a little one and my husband hasn't been able to stay in the home either. I'm not even sure I want to stay with him or separate, I feel I need to know exactly what I'm facing before I can make that decision.
I have everything crossed for you that it's not picked up by the media (also my worst nightmare!). I hope you are all facing better days this year and wish you all the best xx
Thanks so much for sharing your outcome. We're almost there too, after 10 mths of not knowing, bail extended etc., my husband has a court date towards the end of May.
I just want to know now, I need an outcome to even start to move forward. We have a little one and my husband hasn't been able to stay in the home either. I'm not even sure I want to stay with him or separate, I feel I need to know exactly what I'm facing before I can make that decision.
I have everything crossed for you that it's not picked up by the media (also my worst nightmare!). I hope you are all facing better days this year and wish you all the best xx
Bless you all xx
Thankyou for the lovely messages, I felt it important to share outcome with this group as this group has helped me through such hard times in the entire process! I just wanted to tell you all how extremely amazing you all and to stay strong and definitely keep in touch on here as it has been a lifesaver to me these past 15 months and will continue to be xx hugs to you all xx
Thankyou for the lovely messages, I felt it important to share outcome with this group as this group has helped me through such hard times in the entire process! I just wanted to tell you all how extremely amazing you all and to stay strong and definitely keep in touch on here as it has been a lifesaver to me these past 15 months and will continue to be xx hugs to you all xx