Reaching out
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The second court appearance is looming at the crown court
my husband has been charged with inappropriate online chat Been 'chatting' on chat avenue for over 10 years but his downfall was sending intimate photos of himself early last year to an undercover police officer
We have known each other for 40 years married for 36 I have fallen out of love can never forgive him and I'm so worried it will be published in the local paper
i Think I'm depressed can't stop crying and my life is in turmoil Nothing to look forward to
He faces a prison sentence - what an absolute mess
Would be good to hear from someone in similar situation
my husband has been charged with inappropriate online chat Been 'chatting' on chat avenue for over 10 years but his downfall was sending intimate photos of himself early last year to an undercover police officer
We have known each other for 40 years married for 36 I have fallen out of love can never forgive him and I'm so worried it will be published in the local paper
i Think I'm depressed can't stop crying and my life is in turmoil Nothing to look forward to
He faces a prison sentence - what an absolute mess
Would be good to hear from someone in similar situation
Hi agnes
So sorry to hear that you are going through this . You will be experiencing all sorts of emotions , it is such a devastating position to be in . Whilst our situations are different, it was my son who had downloaded a couple of iioc and self disclosed to the police, he received a caution. The sentencing is variable . Did your husband think he was sending these images to an adult? I know and support the police in trying to identify and prosecute individuals who do these crimes, but I feel abit uncomfortable about decoys/entrapment . Was the the age of the decoy disclosed as a possible under 18? And did he know. I am thinking that whilst he will be charged , I will be surprised if he goes to prison for this one offence.
There are lots of ladies going through similar situations and would have advice for you but please seek help from the LFF so you can talk your feelings through with them , they are a great resource .
best wishes and look after yourself
So sorry to hear that you are going through this . You will be experiencing all sorts of emotions , it is such a devastating position to be in . Whilst our situations are different, it was my son who had downloaded a couple of iioc and self disclosed to the police, he received a caution. The sentencing is variable . Did your husband think he was sending these images to an adult? I know and support the police in trying to identify and prosecute individuals who do these crimes, but I feel abit uncomfortable about decoys/entrapment . Was the the age of the decoy disclosed as a possible under 18? And did he know. I am thinking that whilst he will be charged , I will be surprised if he goes to prison for this one offence.
There are lots of ladies going through similar situations and would have advice for you but please seek help from the LFF so you can talk your feelings through with them , they are a great resource .
best wishes and look after yourself
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Hi ange
Sorry you are here but u have found the right place for help and support,, the group none wants to join but you will make new friends and a new normal but just take time for u and be kind to urself.
My partner was online talk to what he believe to be a like minded individual about the subject but it turned out to be a decoy. He then was charged with the publication of obsense article and received 15 month in prison,, 12 months probation 6 licence. Hes convinction didn't met the threshold of a sexual crime,, but like others have said the judge will take all factors into the ruling.
We are now 6 months on this jounery and I remember never feeling like I would get here I asked for full disclosure to his solicitor,, honestly,, which he did.
Some tips that helped me thro,,
Keep coming here and to rant or for help don't keep it in ur head,,
Be kind to urself non of this is anything to do with you in way shape or form.
Seek your GP for help,,
Use the helpline don't put the phone down just hold on a bit they will answer and they will not judge u they are there to listen and advice.
Take it hour by hour,, STOP AND BREATH.
People u think will stand by u might not and people u think will not will.
Forces on u be kind to urself.
Try not to waste time on if,, buts its wasted engery.
We are all here to help you on this rollcoast of emotions.
Sorry you are here but u have found the right place for help and support,, the group none wants to join but you will make new friends and a new normal but just take time for u and be kind to urself.
My partner was online talk to what he believe to be a like minded individual about the subject but it turned out to be a decoy. He then was charged with the publication of obsense article and received 15 month in prison,, 12 months probation 6 licence. Hes convinction didn't met the threshold of a sexual crime,, but like others have said the judge will take all factors into the ruling.
We are now 6 months on this jounery and I remember never feeling like I would get here I asked for full disclosure to his solicitor,, honestly,, which he did.
Some tips that helped me thro,,
Keep coming here and to rant or for help don't keep it in ur head,,
Be kind to urself non of this is anything to do with you in way shape or form.
Seek your GP for help,,
Use the helpline don't put the phone down just hold on a bit they will answer and they will not judge u they are there to listen and advice.
Take it hour by hour,, STOP AND BREATH.
People u think will stand by u might not and people u think will not will.
Forces on u be kind to urself.
Try not to waste time on if,, buts its wasted engery.
We are all here to help you on this rollcoast of emotions.
I'm not sure if I'm using this correctly but Thankyou so much for your responses I just logged on and was surprised to have received replies to my post
not had a good day The PO called for a telephone interview this morning in order to prepare the report for sentencing on 19 May I found out yet more that he'd not told me and it's all disgusting
Who is this man I've been married to for nearly 37 years I'm deeply hurt and utterly distraught How can we recover from this? The thought of living on my own fills me with dread but then the thought of living with the man who I adored and who has betrayed me makes me think I'd be better on my own
ive lost the trail so I'm obviously not using this properly but someone asked if he knew he was sending images to a minor The undercover officer told him she was 12 He was at that point given the opportunity to leave but instead carried on
why did he not realise it was WRONG I'm so ashamed he is my husband and as I said before terrified a reporter will be in court next week
i started 1:1 counselling last week Spent the hour crying but I cry most days Thankyou for reading and understanding
not had a good day The PO called for a telephone interview this morning in order to prepare the report for sentencing on 19 May I found out yet more that he'd not told me and it's all disgusting
Who is this man I've been married to for nearly 37 years I'm deeply hurt and utterly distraught How can we recover from this? The thought of living on my own fills me with dread but then the thought of living with the man who I adored and who has betrayed me makes me think I'd be better on my own
ive lost the trail so I'm obviously not using this properly but someone asked if he knew he was sending images to a minor The undercover officer told him she was 12 He was at that point given the opportunity to leave but instead carried on
why did he not realise it was WRONG I'm so ashamed he is my husband and as I said before terrified a reporter will be in court next week
i started 1:1 counselling last week Spent the hour crying but I cry most days Thankyou for reading and understanding
Agnes,
I had nowhere near 40 years with my partner but I was sure we'd be together forever. I can't imagine how lost you must feel.
I couldn't stay with him knowing what he'd done and then all the lies he told afterwards. I never would have been able to trust him again but only you can decide what is right for you and you'll get losts of support on this forum
I don't know how long you have been dealing with this for but if it's sentencing soon I imagine it must have been a fair while. You've got this far which shows you are a strong person even though you might not feel it at the moment.
Sending you hugs. X
I had nowhere near 40 years with my partner but I was sure we'd be together forever. I can't imagine how lost you must feel.
I couldn't stay with him knowing what he'd done and then all the lies he told afterwards. I never would have been able to trust him again but only you can decide what is right for you and you'll get losts of support on this forum
I don't know how long you have been dealing with this for but if it's sentencing soon I imagine it must have been a fair while. You've got this far which shows you are a strong person even though you might not feel it at the moment.
Sending you hugs. X
Thankyou Beccy
the 'knock' on the door was 16 April 2020
I've been in contact with SIN and initially only told my daughter who has lived overseas for 12 years I regret telling her but she would have found out eventually as her Dad will be unable to visit in the future due to visa restrictions following his sentence
i have confided in one friend as I approached her for a character reference for my husband The shock and disbelief was immense but although our situations are very different I felt she would understand as her husband slept with prostitutes for years without her knowledge They are no longer together
what happens to these men? I will never understand WHY?
I will never trust anyone in my life again only myself My planned future with the man I trusted and adored has been snatched away
my heart is broken I feel so alone
the 'knock' on the door was 16 April 2020
I've been in contact with SIN and initially only told my daughter who has lived overseas for 12 years I regret telling her but she would have found out eventually as her Dad will be unable to visit in the future due to visa restrictions following his sentence
i have confided in one friend as I approached her for a character reference for my husband The shock and disbelief was immense but although our situations are very different I felt she would understand as her husband slept with prostitutes for years without her knowledge They are no longer together
what happens to these men? I will never understand WHY?
I will never trust anyone in my life again only myself My planned future with the man I trusted and adored has been snatched away
my heart is broken I feel so alone
Agnes
Hopefully after the sentencing things will be more settled and you will be able to make your choices. I found the not knowing the hardest to deal with.
I too will always have trust issues but am trying very hard not to pass these on my children. Trust to me is everything.
You are never alone on here. It helps to know that my feelings are normal and I'm not alone. X
Hopefully after the sentencing things will be more settled and you will be able to make your choices. I found the not knowing the hardest to deal with.
I too will always have trust issues but am trying very hard not to pass these on my children. Trust to me is everything.
You are never alone on here. It helps to know that my feelings are normal and I'm not alone. X