Update 6 months on
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Hi to everyone
I just want to put my story out there for anyone to read so it may help someone.
This is how it started the 28th October 2020 at approx 7.00am the knock came,, I went to the door to be welcome by 5 maybe 6 big police offences in plain cloths asking where my partner was I explain he was upstairs the told me they had a warrant to search my house I never saw it. They search my house turned it upside down would not tell me anything had two children in the house. That was the last time I saw him they told me the charges he faced where grooming and trafficking,, I was heartbroken,, felt sick,, cried till I could not physical make a tear roll down my face. Could not eat or sleep. Then christmas came that was my worse had to buy a new tree cause I could not get the old one out the lofted,, I forgot to get the turkey out the freezer so we had to have pizza. Ss have been unforgivable I understand there job but s£&t gets treated better. The police officer told me about stop it now and god I don't if I would be standing if it was not for the advice on her. Then saw christmas come and go then got told my partner would not be charged for the first chargers as he had not spoke to a minor or images.
My fight with ss has taken me to very dark places that I have thro my children are better off without me,, I was a crap parenter. I rang my auntie crying and she was like hun STOP BREATH ur doing OK,, ur doing all u can with that u have been given. STOP caring about everyone else and what they are telling you to do,, do want you know is right you will make mistakes but that OK,, she was baby girl their is no right or wrong way to this you have to do what is right for you. I rang the helpline that much I have spoken to every member of staff that works there from crying down the phone to just letting know I am kind of OK. My ss would send me reports hour before the meetings so never had a chance to read them then I was told I was holding back information it was my duty to tell everyone,, I broke again I scream down the phone I have do it. What more do u want from me and she was like I bringing the grandparents into the meetings I was go for it. Thro all this not one person has came back with anything all reports look like they have be copped and pasted names of my daughter changes every report and ss keeps going on about them seeking legal advice so I turned around and said go for it I have a solicitor I am going to family court and by they way my family are supporting and my decision for me and my kids not u not the grandparents. I also put the boundaries down again and again,, nothing has changed people have walked from my life so be but I am still fight and will carry on to so so because this is not going away it will carry on till people start listening.
The charges my partner has are the following publication of a obsense article he got 15 months for this he 3 on remained so was left with 4 left to serve,, 12 month probation,, fine,, 6 licence. He will do all the course he can will get counciling but because it did not meet the threshold of the sexual crime section 47 he will not get any help but they are treating him as a sex offered. I have now taken it to family court to look at it and see what they say.
Around this I have only had support from the group and the help line but I did not believe I would get here and I am my tips...
Take it hour by hour
Don't do anything you don't want to do this is ur journey
Love yourself it's not ur fault in away shape or form
Take time out for yourself
Don't be scared to say STOP I NEED TO BREATH
Don't rush into any decisions
There is no right or wrong way to deal with this
Gp for support
Keep coming here to rant,, update,, get help and advice
None knows what the further means but please don't let anyone push to rush or do anything you don't want,,,
Slowly slowly the hare and tortoises always is in my through when it comes to dealing with this and you have
LLF
STOPSO out there to,,,
Thank you everyone for ur support xx I just want to hold on u know ur individual there is more to them than just what they have done lots of love and support I will let u know how our journey goes xxx
I just want to put my story out there for anyone to read so it may help someone.
This is how it started the 28th October 2020 at approx 7.00am the knock came,, I went to the door to be welcome by 5 maybe 6 big police offences in plain cloths asking where my partner was I explain he was upstairs the told me they had a warrant to search my house I never saw it. They search my house turned it upside down would not tell me anything had two children in the house. That was the last time I saw him they told me the charges he faced where grooming and trafficking,, I was heartbroken,, felt sick,, cried till I could not physical make a tear roll down my face. Could not eat or sleep. Then christmas came that was my worse had to buy a new tree cause I could not get the old one out the lofted,, I forgot to get the turkey out the freezer so we had to have pizza. Ss have been unforgivable I understand there job but s£&t gets treated better. The police officer told me about stop it now and god I don't if I would be standing if it was not for the advice on her. Then saw christmas come and go then got told my partner would not be charged for the first chargers as he had not spoke to a minor or images.
My fight with ss has taken me to very dark places that I have thro my children are better off without me,, I was a crap parenter. I rang my auntie crying and she was like hun STOP BREATH ur doing OK,, ur doing all u can with that u have been given. STOP caring about everyone else and what they are telling you to do,, do want you know is right you will make mistakes but that OK,, she was baby girl their is no right or wrong way to this you have to do what is right for you. I rang the helpline that much I have spoken to every member of staff that works there from crying down the phone to just letting know I am kind of OK. My ss would send me reports hour before the meetings so never had a chance to read them then I was told I was holding back information it was my duty to tell everyone,, I broke again I scream down the phone I have do it. What more do u want from me and she was like I bringing the grandparents into the meetings I was go for it. Thro all this not one person has came back with anything all reports look like they have be copped and pasted names of my daughter changes every report and ss keeps going on about them seeking legal advice so I turned around and said go for it I have a solicitor I am going to family court and by they way my family are supporting and my decision for me and my kids not u not the grandparents. I also put the boundaries down again and again,, nothing has changed people have walked from my life so be but I am still fight and will carry on to so so because this is not going away it will carry on till people start listening.
The charges my partner has are the following publication of a obsense article he got 15 months for this he 3 on remained so was left with 4 left to serve,, 12 month probation,, fine,, 6 licence. He will do all the course he can will get counciling but because it did not meet the threshold of the sexual crime section 47 he will not get any help but they are treating him as a sex offered. I have now taken it to family court to look at it and see what they say.
Around this I have only had support from the group and the help line but I did not believe I would get here and I am my tips...
Take it hour by hour
Don't do anything you don't want to do this is ur journey
Love yourself it's not ur fault in away shape or form
Take time out for yourself
Don't be scared to say STOP I NEED TO BREATH
Don't rush into any decisions
There is no right or wrong way to deal with this
Gp for support
Keep coming here to rant,, update,, get help and advice
None knows what the further means but please don't let anyone push to rush or do anything you don't want,,,
Slowly slowly the hare and tortoises always is in my through when it comes to dealing with this and you have
LLF
STOPSO out there to,,,
Thank you everyone for ur support xx I just want to hold on u know ur individual there is more to them than just what they have done lots of love and support I will let u know how our journey goes xxx
Hello Vickie,
Thank you for reaching out for some support and advice from the Family and Friends Forum and sharing your story to help other forum users who are in a similar situation to yourself. You have given some really good advice and tips that I hope other forum users will also find helpful. We have noticed that your post has not yet received a response from other forum users yet. It is positive that you have been able to access support from forum users on different threads, but I recognise how hard it may have been to write this post, so well done for doing so.
It is really positive to read that you have already been in touch with us on our helpline and have found this supportive. Please do continue to call the helpline for continued support and advice.
Take care,
Lucy
Thank you for reaching out for some support and advice from the Family and Friends Forum and sharing your story to help other forum users who are in a similar situation to yourself. You have given some really good advice and tips that I hope other forum users will also find helpful. We have noticed that your post has not yet received a response from other forum users yet. It is positive that you have been able to access support from forum users on different threads, but I recognise how hard it may have been to write this post, so well done for doing so.
It is really positive to read that you have already been in touch with us on our helpline and have found this supportive. Please do continue to call the helpline for continued support and advice.
Take care,
Lucy