Not sure how much longer I can stand this
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We had the knock in March, my partner was arrested and bailed for possessing 1 image of an underaged person.
Same as most people on here we've had SS involved which has absolutely broken my heart. Like most partners I had no idea and I'm not classed as a suspect but I feel like a criminal, like at any moment they could take my daughter away. Luckily she's only 18 months so she doesn't understand.
My partner isn't allowed to stay at the house but we're living as if nothing has changed and I don't know how long I can keep it up. His bail has been extended for another month but reading that this can go on for years makes me wonder whether to just end it now and try and rebuild my life. It's the not knowing if the police are going to find more and then in 2 years having to start all over again anyway.
I'm not really looking for an answer, just needed to vent
Same as most people on here we've had SS involved which has absolutely broken my heart. Like most partners I had no idea and I'm not classed as a suspect but I feel like a criminal, like at any moment they could take my daughter away. Luckily she's only 18 months so she doesn't understand.
My partner isn't allowed to stay at the house but we're living as if nothing has changed and I don't know how long I can keep it up. His bail has been extended for another month but reading that this can go on for years makes me wonder whether to just end it now and try and rebuild my life. It's the not knowing if the police are going to find more and then in 2 years having to start all over again anyway.
I'm not really looking for an answer, just needed to vent
Hi Lillimay,
The limbo is so tough I won't lie... As I'm sure you've read.. There is very little consistency so there's no point comparing your case to another.
Has your husband admitted to the image? Has he been honest about what he thinks they may be likely to find?
We were stuck in limbo from May 2020 to last week when he was interviewed following their findings. However we are now awaiting charges and the next stage.
Looking back.. Almost a year ago after the knock.. I wasn't sure how I could survive a day let alone these 11 months. The only way through this is to take one day at a time.. Plenty of self care, talking and listening to eachother and try to live your life as much as possible. Reach out for as much support as you can. Take care hunny you're doing amazing already xxxxx
The limbo is so tough I won't lie... As I'm sure you've read.. There is very little consistency so there's no point comparing your case to another.
Has your husband admitted to the image? Has he been honest about what he thinks they may be likely to find?
We were stuck in limbo from May 2020 to last week when he was interviewed following their findings. However we are now awaiting charges and the next stage.
Looking back.. Almost a year ago after the knock.. I wasn't sure how I could survive a day let alone these 11 months. The only way through this is to take one day at a time.. Plenty of self care, talking and listening to eachother and try to live your life as much as possible. Reach out for as much support as you can. Take care hunny you're doing amazing already xxxxx
The police told us it would take 5 weeks for the investigation. It took 18 months and then another 8 to get to court.
He said he hadn't done it and I believed him so I stood by him until the evidence proved otherwise. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving my support and trying to keep my family together.
Those 18 months were so difficult for me and my children and I regret putting them through it. The supervised contacts and times they couldn't have friends round, or trying to explain to their friends why he couldn't pick them up from school anymore etc. Couldn't leave them alone watching TV. Never had anytime on my own. Makes me feel sick that they went through that, when it was constantly on their minds affecting friendships, school work etc and for what. We all feel manipulated, used and betrayed.
It took me a long time to accept that I made the best decision I could based on what I knew at the time. That's all we we can do.
Only you can decide what is right for you. It's what you feel is the right thing to do and what you feel you can cope with.
That probably doesn't help but you'll get support on here which ever way you decide. Xx
He said he hadn't done it and I believed him so I stood by him until the evidence proved otherwise. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving my support and trying to keep my family together.
Those 18 months were so difficult for me and my children and I regret putting them through it. The supervised contacts and times they couldn't have friends round, or trying to explain to their friends why he couldn't pick them up from school anymore etc. Couldn't leave them alone watching TV. Never had anytime on my own. Makes me feel sick that they went through that, when it was constantly on their minds affecting friendships, school work etc and for what. We all feel manipulated, used and betrayed.
It took me a long time to accept that I made the best decision I could based on what I knew at the time. That's all we we can do.
Only you can decide what is right for you. It's what you feel is the right thing to do and what you feel you can cope with.
That probably doesn't help but you'll get support on here which ever way you decide. Xx