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Meeting for the first time

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JE

Member since
September 2020

42 posts

Posted Wed May 5, 2021 4:33pmReport post

Hi all,

I'm seeing my Dad for the first time next week since this all happened. It's been 8 months since I saw him. I feel so anxious and worried. Does anyone have any tips about how to be, what to say what not to say, how to take care of myself. I never thought I'd find myself here. I feel so lost. And stressed. And so sad.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Dottie

Member since
June 2019

236 posts

Posted Thu May 6, 2021 7:06amReport post

Hi JE,

I just think you should follow your heart on what you feel comfortable with on the day. You may want to ask questions about the offending, or you may want to leave that till the next time you see him. Look after yourself first that's the important thing. I hope it goes well for you and that you will be less anxious. Xxx

Tabs

Member since
November 2019

501 posts

Posted Thu May 6, 2021 9:52amReport post

That's so hard, I remember meeting my husband for the first time after his arrest to give him clothes etc. I was scared, I realised when I was waiting for him that no one knew where I was and my brain just got carried away with 'what ifs'. But he was still him, not the evil man that I had created.
I wanted to scream, shout, cry, blame, but we met in a public car park, so that meant there were some constraints! I did enough of that on the phone!
To have a meaningful conversation, a tip I was given, was to frame my feelings, so 'I felt betrayed', instead of 'you betrayed me'. It seems to work, a calmer conversation. Good luck xx

JE

Member since
September 2020

42 posts

Posted Thu May 6, 2021 8:31pmReport post

Thank you for your replies I appreciate it.

it's just such a difficult and sad situation isn't it. and one none of us ever imagined we'd be in.

I can't stop thinking about how much life has changed. I just want to give him a hug and tell him things will be okay.

Feel like I might not sleep tonight.