Never dealt with SS before and clueless!
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I'm in a relationship with a man that was convicted 4 years ago for chatting online and sending pics to someone underage.
We've only been together a few months and he had disclosed it at the start. He is fully compliant with the police etc and hence told them about us as I have a daughter who is 17. He doesn't sleep over and is never alone with her.
The police were fine with it as we are doing what we need to but today a really horrible man from Children's services rang me at work and informed me that SS will be in touch and I'll have to tell my daughter as she's at risk and also my two sons need to know although they're over 18. He wouldn't call me after work to talk in private as he said it wouldn't wait. He seemed to want to put words in my mouth like I 'am carrying on the relationship despite the risk'. I have known this man a long time before our relationship and know the circumstances for his conviction. My kids love him and he's a genuine positive influence on them and me. I would never ever put my daughter at risk.
I guess I want advice on how to deal with SS positively as this man rubbed me up the wrong way and I'm worried I won't say what I should.
Any advice appreciated
We've only been together a few months and he had disclosed it at the start. He is fully compliant with the police etc and hence told them about us as I have a daughter who is 17. He doesn't sleep over and is never alone with her.
The police were fine with it as we are doing what we need to but today a really horrible man from Children's services rang me at work and informed me that SS will be in touch and I'll have to tell my daughter as she's at risk and also my two sons need to know although they're over 18. He wouldn't call me after work to talk in private as he said it wouldn't wait. He seemed to want to put words in my mouth like I 'am carrying on the relationship despite the risk'. I have known this man a long time before our relationship and know the circumstances for his conviction. My kids love him and he's a genuine positive influence on them and me. I would never ever put my daughter at risk.
I guess I want advice on how to deal with SS positively as this man rubbed me up the wrong way and I'm worried I won't say what I should.
Any advice appreciated
Just never say to ss that he's not a risk because they will see u as playing it down trust me on that. U know him but just remember they coming from another side and I learnt that lesson very fast,, like u said he don't stay over and is not left alone.
Just try and stay calm when they are around you
If they want to talk to ur kids then let them but make sure you can sit their
Don't let them rail you into any decisions you don't want to make it's your life and there's no right or wrong way to do this,,
Just STOP AND BREATH
RING THE HELPLINE
There is also the family rights group for legal advice to hope this helps in some way,,
Just try and stay calm when they are around you
If they want to talk to ur kids then let them but make sure you can sit their
Don't let them rail you into any decisions you don't want to make it's your life and there's no right or wrong way to do this,,
Just STOP AND BREATH
RING THE HELPLINE
There is also the family rights group for legal advice to hope this helps in some way,,
Hello.
Dealing with social services is exhausting. They were involved in our life for a short time when I decided to remain with my husband and have children, despite his offending.
My advice is to always be honest with them. Don't downplay anything and never make excuses for your partners behaviour. Show them you understand the seriousness of the situation.
I did the Inform course with LFF and that was really helpful in helping me understand what happened. When I was grilled by a social worker, I was able to draw on everything I learnt during the course and express myself in a decent way. Also I came up with lots of measures to prove I would safeguard my children e.g. family members who we had support from, monitoring software on devices, phones without cameras or the internet. I literally took our life apart and found every little risk and decided how I would manage it. Like I say, exhausting.
There were many times I could have exploded with frustration at the judgements etc and I made sure I vented to a family member or my therapist, rather than at the powers that be.
I wish you luck.
Dealing with social services is exhausting. They were involved in our life for a short time when I decided to remain with my husband and have children, despite his offending.
My advice is to always be honest with them. Don't downplay anything and never make excuses for your partners behaviour. Show them you understand the seriousness of the situation.
I did the Inform course with LFF and that was really helpful in helping me understand what happened. When I was grilled by a social worker, I was able to draw on everything I learnt during the course and express myself in a decent way. Also I came up with lots of measures to prove I would safeguard my children e.g. family members who we had support from, monitoring software on devices, phones without cameras or the internet. I literally took our life apart and found every little risk and decided how I would manage it. Like I say, exhausting.
There were many times I could have exploded with frustration at the judgements etc and I made sure I vented to a family member or my therapist, rather than at the powers that be.
I wish you luck.