I am so very frightened.
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We are older parents. My son is 26 and autistic. Also has EDS and dyspraxia and severe communication problems. We are 18 months in and have been told to expect prison. We are terrified for him. He is like a child but is being treated as an adult because of his age. He has all categories of images. He is totally dependent on us. The police had no understanding at all and make no allowances for his disabilities. Because he can communicate better using text or email they don't seem to believe that he has communication problems even though it is backed up by medical records. His grandma and aunts think the world of him. I fear they will disown him. I cry all the time. I am terrified of being in the press. We are well known as we have lived here 35 years. I love him so much. Whatever he has done he is my son and I would die for him.
Do you know how many images were found roughly?
I wouldn't honestly listen to what he could be expecting as I have read many cases and it seems like luck on the day, there's too many inconsistencies with the sentencing.
Your son is very lucky to have you, my son is 21 we are now 18 months in, magistrates in July.
Is it your sons first offence ?
Sending a hug your way x
I wouldn't honestly listen to what he could be expecting as I have read many cases and it seems like luck on the day, there's too many inconsistencies with the sentencing.
Your son is very lucky to have you, my son is 21 we are now 18 months in, magistrates in July.
Is it your sons first offence ?
Sending a hug your way x
Hi Isabella
I feel for you and know only too well the fears and anxieties you are experiencing . Its a terrifying time for us all when this happens . They will take all elements of his case , into consideration, mitigating circumstances such as mental /physical health , what help he and you have accessed to help him manage the risk etc.
my experience of the police have been a positive but sometimes they can cause some distress in what they say or do , when in fact as Becky says the sentencing is not consistent and depends what the judge decides on the day . My son was 23 when this happened and he received a caution with restrictions
Take care
.
I feel for you and know only too well the fears and anxieties you are experiencing . Its a terrifying time for us all when this happens . They will take all elements of his case , into consideration, mitigating circumstances such as mental /physical health , what help he and you have accessed to help him manage the risk etc.
my experience of the police have been a positive but sometimes they can cause some distress in what they say or do , when in fact as Becky says the sentencing is not consistent and depends what the judge decides on the day . My son was 23 when this happened and he received a caution with restrictions
Take care
.
I really felt for you and your family on reading your post. Has your son's case been sent to the CPS yet? If not do you know that as your son is Autistic you can write a letter explaining how yous son's autism affects him.
More information can be found on the CPS website under 'Material available for a charging decision'. The link is https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/mental-health-suspects-and-defendants-mental-health-conditions-or-disorders
It sounds that you may have already given the police some written information anyway, but I thought the link may be useful if you have not.
Hope this helps in some way.
More information can be found on the CPS website under 'Material available for a charging decision'. The link is https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/mental-health-suspects-and-defendants-mental-health-conditions-or-disorders
It sounds that you may have already given the police some written information anyway, but I thought the link may be useful if you have not.
Hope this helps in some way.
Thank you so much all of you for your advice. It is very comforting to know that others are going through the same fears and worries. The worries and anxieties are constant. Can't sleep. Pace the living room at night, worrying about the outcome. Have any of you rang any helplines given by the police? Were they supportive? Has anyone had to move house because ofpeople finding out? Or changed their surname? Is that advisable?
Hi
We have reached out to a number of the helplines the police gave us. We have been told that it may help with sentences but we also wanted to do it to get him help as he really needed it. (He's had issues his whole life basically and abuse as a kid that I didn't know about and only a few times has he spoken to younger people as it's escalated to a point of "anyone will do") we have found the both the stop it now modules and "recovery nation" have been helpful for my hubby to understand what he has done. We also contacted stopso to get therapy and councillors and he has a referral now and start next week.
With your sons autism I'm not sure how much they will help as it requires independent thinking. But if you phone stop it now they may be able to advise.
with recovery nation they do sections for couples and partners too but not sure about parents. I've found it really helpful.
For me to stop the pacing and the worrying I started a journal and just started writing down my feelings. It's been a big help.
We have reached out to a number of the helplines the police gave us. We have been told that it may help with sentences but we also wanted to do it to get him help as he really needed it. (He's had issues his whole life basically and abuse as a kid that I didn't know about and only a few times has he spoken to younger people as it's escalated to a point of "anyone will do") we have found the both the stop it now modules and "recovery nation" have been helpful for my hubby to understand what he has done. We also contacted stopso to get therapy and councillors and he has a referral now and start next week.
With your sons autism I'm not sure how much they will help as it requires independent thinking. But if you phone stop it now they may be able to advise.
with recovery nation they do sections for couples and partners too but not sure about parents. I've found it really helpful.
For me to stop the pacing and the worrying I started a journal and just started writing down my feelings. It's been a big help.