Miserable and lonely
Notifications OFF
It's a lovely sunny Sunday and I'm sitting in the house doing nothing.
Why have I let his actions ruin my life. I just have no motivation to do anything alone and nothing seems worth it anymore.
I have good intentions of getting on with things but just spend hours on my phone distracting myself.
Not seen him for over a year. Will I ever get beyond this joyless feeling.
Why have I let his actions ruin my life. I just have no motivation to do anything alone and nothing seems worth it anymore.
I have good intentions of getting on with things but just spend hours on my phone distracting myself.
Not seen him for over a year. Will I ever get beyond this joyless feeling.
Post deleted by user
Hi Becky
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so miserable and lonely.
There are people on here who have commented recently on those of us that stay being very nieve and porn addiction not being a real gateway into this... Yet the inform course that Lucy faithful runs, explains how the vast majority of these men are not the p word and they are led down this path of offending by their mental health.. Just like any other addiction.
Those partners that do not try to understand how their husband ended up down that rabbit hole... Seem to still be hanging on to anger and grief years down the line.. We see many on here.
I took part in a study via Lucy faithful with a student and I said the one piece of advice I would give any Newby on here would be to find a way to understand how it happened. None of us will ever condone and its certainly not about excusing the offending behaviour but we cannot move forward without any answers.... Whatever decision we make in the future about our relationships x
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so miserable and lonely.
There are people on here who have commented recently on those of us that stay being very nieve and porn addiction not being a real gateway into this... Yet the inform course that Lucy faithful runs, explains how the vast majority of these men are not the p word and they are led down this path of offending by their mental health.. Just like any other addiction.
Those partners that do not try to understand how their husband ended up down that rabbit hole... Seem to still be hanging on to anger and grief years down the line.. We see many on here.
I took part in a study via Lucy faithful with a student and I said the one piece of advice I would give any Newby on here would be to find a way to understand how it happened. None of us will ever condone and its certainly not about excusing the offending behaviour but we cannot move forward without any answers.... Whatever decision we make in the future about our relationships x
Post deleted by user
Rainbowgirl80.
He lied to me about what he'd done until the evidence proved otherwise and has never given me any explanation for his actions or the lies. I don't know how long he was doing it for or how he started doing it.
Somehow I need to find a way to move on without that knowledge but it eats away at me and is never far from my thoughts.
Even if I could understand I would never be able to forgive him for the lies or for the devastation he has caused my children by lying. For over 18 months we trusted him when he said it wasn't true and went through the trauma of supervised contact etc and that just feels like total betrayal. I want to let go of the anger and grief but I have nowhere to direct it. I want to let go of the anger towards him for my sake, not his. He's never faced my anger because there has been no contact
He may have got a legal sentence but he won't even come close to knowing what he has done to us. Of course the children in the images are his victims but he doesn't get any punishment for what he's done to my children or to me. He won't ever have to face that.
He lied to me about what he'd done until the evidence proved otherwise and has never given me any explanation for his actions or the lies. I don't know how long he was doing it for or how he started doing it.
Somehow I need to find a way to move on without that knowledge but it eats away at me and is never far from my thoughts.
Even if I could understand I would never be able to forgive him for the lies or for the devastation he has caused my children by lying. For over 18 months we trusted him when he said it wasn't true and went through the trauma of supervised contact etc and that just feels like total betrayal. I want to let go of the anger and grief but I have nowhere to direct it. I want to let go of the anger towards him for my sake, not his. He's never faced my anger because there has been no contact
He may have got a legal sentence but he won't even come close to knowing what he has done to us. Of course the children in the images are his victims but he doesn't get any punishment for what he's done to my children or to me. He won't ever have to face that.
Hi Beccy,
Carrying that level of anger around with you must be very tough and hurting you far more than it is him.
I guess I have to remember that maybe not every guy is a good guy who became depressed and turned to addiction as a way to cope. For some men the day of the knock is a huge relief and they hold their hands up and admit what they were doing.... Although it does still take time to come out. The fact that he is blatantly lying to you and minimising must making it even harder.
Did you ever get full disclosure? If not the fact you have children with him means you could under Sarahs law... If you think it will help you to move on.
Hope you find a way to heal. Stop so therapy could help you to understand a little more.... For you not for him.
Take care of yourself. Xxx
Carrying that level of anger around with you must be very tough and hurting you far more than it is him.
I guess I have to remember that maybe not every guy is a good guy who became depressed and turned to addiction as a way to cope. For some men the day of the knock is a huge relief and they hold their hands up and admit what they were doing.... Although it does still take time to come out. The fact that he is blatantly lying to you and minimising must making it even harder.
Did you ever get full disclosure? If not the fact you have children with him means you could under Sarahs law... If you think it will help you to move on.
Hope you find a way to heal. Stop so therapy could help you to understand a little more.... For you not for him.
Take care of yourself. Xxx