Uncle arrested
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Hello,
I've read through so many of these post and so grateful for all the advice that has been given so far.
My Uncle was arrested a few months ago for sharing category B and C images. He's told us they weren't under 16 (which I know is illegal, but he apparently didn't). I don't know if that's true.
I have three children, 6, 8 and 10. The police told me not to have any contact with my uncle
We know a social worker is going to get in touch with us.
I'm so angry and upset that my Uncle has done this and put us in this situation. Does anyone know what sort of intervention social services will want with us? He used to babysit for us at least once a week. Will it depend on his specific offenses?
I guess I'm just interested in anyone's thoughts who might have been in a similar situation with a family member who's not the father. I imagine social services input is more in depth when it's the father who is the offender?
My family think he was just stupid - swept along with it after looking at porn. I'm worried they will minimize his offenses and I'll feel pressure to see him again.
At the moment I can't see me or the children ever having contact with him again. I wouldn't think my uncle would have done anything to the children so it makes me sad that they would lose this relationship (they love him dearly). Can I ever get over it? I just feel so disgusted and let down by him.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts or advice.
A x
I've read through so many of these post and so grateful for all the advice that has been given so far.
My Uncle was arrested a few months ago for sharing category B and C images. He's told us they weren't under 16 (which I know is illegal, but he apparently didn't). I don't know if that's true.
I have three children, 6, 8 and 10. The police told me not to have any contact with my uncle
We know a social worker is going to get in touch with us.
I'm so angry and upset that my Uncle has done this and put us in this situation. Does anyone know what sort of intervention social services will want with us? He used to babysit for us at least once a week. Will it depend on his specific offenses?
I guess I'm just interested in anyone's thoughts who might have been in a similar situation with a family member who's not the father. I imagine social services input is more in depth when it's the father who is the offender?
My family think he was just stupid - swept along with it after looking at porn. I'm worried they will minimize his offenses and I'll feel pressure to see him again.
At the moment I can't see me or the children ever having contact with him again. I wouldn't think my uncle would have done anything to the children so it makes me sad that they would lose this relationship (they love him dearly). Can I ever get over it? I just feel so disgusted and let down by him.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts or advice.
A x
Hello.
Firstly, I can fully understand (from experience) how let down/betrayed/devastated you feel by your uncle. You're clearly close, as you mention he has babysitted for you in the past.
Although I'm here because my husband offended and not another family member, my advice is to not make a decision based on a knee jerk reaction. The LFF helpline is a good place for you to talk about your situation and sound things out; work out how you really feel. There is no right or wrong answer.
I'm unsure how much input social services will want but (having dealt with them myself) being honest is key. You sound like you very much understand the seriousness of the offending and how that may impact your children. Make sure you can explain your decisions clearly, whether that be to continue or cease contact. If you decide to continue then S/S will delve a lot deeper - at the end of the day it's their job. Their concern is that you can safeguard your children. This may look like supervised contact and/or always meeting in a public place. It's a minefield but it can be tackled. If you decide to cease contact, it's far simpler.
Sending positive vibes your way.
Firstly, I can fully understand (from experience) how let down/betrayed/devastated you feel by your uncle. You're clearly close, as you mention he has babysitted for you in the past.
Although I'm here because my husband offended and not another family member, my advice is to not make a decision based on a knee jerk reaction. The LFF helpline is a good place for you to talk about your situation and sound things out; work out how you really feel. There is no right or wrong answer.
I'm unsure how much input social services will want but (having dealt with them myself) being honest is key. You sound like you very much understand the seriousness of the offending and how that may impact your children. Make sure you can explain your decisions clearly, whether that be to continue or cease contact. If you decide to continue then S/S will delve a lot deeper - at the end of the day it's their job. Their concern is that you can safeguard your children. This may look like supervised contact and/or always meeting in a public place. It's a minefield but it can be tackled. If you decide to cease contact, it's far simpler.
Sending positive vibes your way.