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Dealing with finding out

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Confused_and_looking4advice

Member since
May 2021

2 posts

Posted Thu May 27, 2021 2:05pmReport post

Hi,

I've recently found out that my boyfriend has a porn addiction through his history on search engines popping up. There was one search for a famous underage influencer that has been in the news lately for posting risqué photos. I was just wondering on any advice for dealing with the feelings which come about through finding this out.



When I confronted him, he broke down and has now started therapy to try and deal with his need for porn. He has said he's not attracted to children/teens but came across this on his searches. I was just hoping someone has been through something similar and has some advice about prevention.

dino2828

Member since
January 2021

66 posts

Posted Thu May 27, 2021 8:09pmReport post

Hi



Err it really depends on what you mean by these images, has he been arrested? Were they viewed in error? Have you contacted local police to advise of this error in case they come knocking?

I am a bit confused by your post, sorry, my brother was sentenced for illegal images cat A to C but I don't know from your post if you mean just images you could find on instagram or illegal porn??

He needs to get help for this porn stuff, it is not fair on you, I don't understand all this porn addiction stuff to be fair, it is very damaging :(

Edited Thu May 27, 2021 8:11pm

Confused_and_looking4advice

Member since
May 2021

2 posts

Posted Thu May 27, 2021 9:52pmReport post

Hi,

Thanks for you reply. So sorry to hear about your brother.

He has not been arrested. It was images found on Instagram, which he viewed. They were images which unfortunately have gone viral. Full clothed but sexual in nature. I don't know whether they were viewed in error, although he was remorseful when found out her real age.

He is currently working on the porn addition by going to therapy and keeping accountability. I'm working out whether it's worth sticking around for:(

dino2828

Member since
January 2021

66 posts

Posted Fri May 28, 2021 2:52pmReport post

Ok well if it was on instagram it is not the same as using something on the net to access illegal content like a VPN or torrent

Instagram will monitor their content but some slips through the net, I can't imagine it could be too bad on insta like images in bikini maybe? Loads of influencers post that stuff on there.

Even I would not class that as porn but as sexually overt instagram images, which models can do. The fact you mention he is having therapy means so much more is going on than just coming accross images on instagram. From what you say it is not clear the content he is looking at or if there is some over reaction from instagram. I cannot belive these insta images could be arrestable offenses otherwise soooo many people would be arrested so try not to worry too much on that one!

Edited Fri May 28, 2021 2:58pm

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

153 posts

Posted Sat May 29, 2021 1:19pmReport post

Hi Confused...

It sounds like both you and your partner have taken really positive steps. Finding out and confronting him was brave and the fact he took it seriously and is now addressing his addiction is a really great sign.

Porn addiction can lead down a very dark path, however addressing it head on in earlier stages, as it sounds like he's doing, can only be a good thing. I hope for him and you and everyone that he is able to work it out before it gets to an illegal stage. There are many people on here whose whole world came crashing down from finding out because of a police knock. The consequences of looking at IIOC are vast and long lasting. I really hope he never does that to himself or his loved ones.

If you are ready to try and understand the porn addiction then that could help with dealing with emotions. There are books and courses etc if you look in other feeds. Just remember it is not your fault.

As for is it worth sticking around there is no right answer. People on here both do and don't. And there are millions of reasons to do either. Try to be kind to yourself and don't imagine you have to make this choice based on anyone but yourself. Take your time.

I wish you all the best xx