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Hi, just looking for some advice before I talk to SS again.
my now ex partner has just recently answered his bail and has been realeased under investigation with no conditions.
what does this mean in regards to him seeing our children now? Can he has contact now? I'm willing to supervise, we live 3 hours away from him now but we have remained in contact and on good terms (as good as we can be)
thank you
my now ex partner has just recently answered his bail and has been realeased under investigation with no conditions.
what does this mean in regards to him seeing our children now? Can he has contact now? I'm willing to supervise, we live 3 hours away from him now but we have remained in contact and on good terms (as good as we can be)
thank you
Hi,
I assume no conditions allows for contact from the police perspective. Social care may have their own ideas though. They can recommend only supervised contact etc.
X
I assume no conditions allows for contact from the police perspective. Social care may have their own ideas though. They can recommend only supervised contact etc.
X
Thank you for the Reply Sarah,
im gonna speak to the SS tomorrow anyway and see what their plan is for us. I know every case is different and every SW is different, I just wish it was a lot easier to figure out
xx
im gonna speak to the SS tomorrow anyway and see what their plan is for us. I know every case is different and every SW is different, I just wish it was a lot easier to figure out
xx
Hi.
my experience is this. My now ex was released on bail while they continue investigation in his case. The police told him he could see the children supervised which I allowed but when SS came in days later they went mad at me and told me no contact at all. Almost 8months down the line and we are still no contact supervised or non supervised. SS have made it clear if he comes near the children they would look to remove them from my care. I'm upset because the youngest is suffering and doesn't understand why he doesn't see daddy. I hope u get better luck with SS.
stay safe x
my experience is this. My now ex was released on bail while they continue investigation in his case. The police told him he could see the children supervised which I allowed but when SS came in days later they went mad at me and told me no contact at all. Almost 8months down the line and we are still no contact supervised or non supervised. SS have made it clear if he comes near the children they would look to remove them from my care. I'm upset because the youngest is suffering and doesn't understand why he doesn't see daddy. I hope u get better luck with SS.
stay safe x
Good morning Rusty,
wow that sounds awful, to threaten to take the children as well, I feel that's very excessive, I've seen good and bad things about SS on here and it all makes me nervous. I've had one phone call with my sw down here as we moved after the knock, I've been told there's no safe guarding issues with me in regards to the children, we have 6 of them all under 9 and one is on the spectrum so this has been very hard, but I need to speak to them about their dad seeing them and it scares me as I don't want to be seen as a "unfit" parent for not taking it seriously even though I do but I know (well hope I know) he wouldn't do anything to my children, and I would be present at all times
wow that sounds awful, to threaten to take the children as well, I feel that's very excessive, I've seen good and bad things about SS on here and it all makes me nervous. I've had one phone call with my sw down here as we moved after the knock, I've been told there's no safe guarding issues with me in regards to the children, we have 6 of them all under 9 and one is on the spectrum so this has been very hard, but I need to speak to them about their dad seeing them and it scares me as I don't want to be seen as a "unfit" parent for not taking it seriously even though I do but I know (well hope I know) he wouldn't do anything to my children, and I would be present at all times
Good morning Rusty,
wow that sounds awful, to threaten to take the children as well, I feel that's very excessive, I've seen good and bad things about SS on here and it all makes me nervous. I've had one phone call with my sw down here as we moved after the knock, I've been told there's no safe guarding issues with me in regards to the children, we have 6 of them all under 9 and one is on the spectrum so this has been very hard, but I need to speak to them about their dad seeing them and it scares me as I don't want to be seen as a "unfit" parent for not taking it seriously even though I do but I know (well hope I know) he wouldn't do anything to my children, and I would be present at all times
wow that sounds awful, to threaten to take the children as well, I feel that's very excessive, I've seen good and bad things about SS on here and it all makes me nervous. I've had one phone call with my sw down here as we moved after the knock, I've been told there's no safe guarding issues with me in regards to the children, we have 6 of them all under 9 and one is on the spectrum so this has been very hard, but I need to speak to them about their dad seeing them and it scares me as I don't want to be seen as a "unfit" parent for not taking it seriously even though I do but I know (well hope I know) he wouldn't do anything to my children, and I would be present at all times
Hi lifesnotokay,
Its so hard as police will say one thing but social services often go in harder with safeguarding!
Call the family rights group, they will be able to really help you with this. Ask them to explain your rights and the procedures you should expect from SS. They also have a How To Work With Social Services document that I found useful. Social worker will first do a children and family assessment, this takes into account the children, you and their schools/nursery/doctors opinions on the childrens development and any concerns. This is something they do over the first few days or contact they have with you and your children and you'll receive a copy shortly after. They'll likely put you on a child in need or child protection plan. These are both voluntary and there to support you and shouldn't be them telling you what to do, more advising you. They seem to follow a pattern of supervised contact by family member(grandparents)inside, then in the community, then supervised by a partner in the community then maybe indoors too. It does take time though as they want to watch closely. Unfortunately with SS it does seem to become all about us, the mother's. One thing I would say is never say you don't think he'd do anything to the children, unfortunately this will definitely set you back with contact arrangements. They want you to say he is a risk and that you agree with them on that. You can say that you'll absolutely supervise to removed that risk and if they say no ask them what steps they'd like you to take to allow you to supervise. Some ask mums to do courses.
Good luck xxxxxx
Its so hard as police will say one thing but social services often go in harder with safeguarding!
Call the family rights group, they will be able to really help you with this. Ask them to explain your rights and the procedures you should expect from SS. They also have a How To Work With Social Services document that I found useful. Social worker will first do a children and family assessment, this takes into account the children, you and their schools/nursery/doctors opinions on the childrens development and any concerns. This is something they do over the first few days or contact they have with you and your children and you'll receive a copy shortly after. They'll likely put you on a child in need or child protection plan. These are both voluntary and there to support you and shouldn't be them telling you what to do, more advising you. They seem to follow a pattern of supervised contact by family member(grandparents)inside, then in the community, then supervised by a partner in the community then maybe indoors too. It does take time though as they want to watch closely. Unfortunately with SS it does seem to become all about us, the mother's. One thing I would say is never say you don't think he'd do anything to the children, unfortunately this will definitely set you back with contact arrangements. They want you to say he is a risk and that you agree with them on that. You can say that you'll absolutely supervise to removed that risk and if they say no ask them what steps they'd like you to take to allow you to supervise. Some ask mums to do courses.
Good luck xxxxxx