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Who's case didn't hit the media....

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SadAndWorried

Member since
October 2019

154 posts

Posted Thu June 3, 2021 11:12pmReport post

Hi,

I thought for my sake and worries and maybe others too it would be good to have a post to possibly share a little hope that these cases, our families won't always end up in the media. I'm hoping maybe a few people who haven't been found by the media can share that here.

xxx

majestictopaz

Member since
December 2019

499 posts

Posted Fri June 4, 2021 2:08pmReport post

My partner was not featured as far as I know. His court hearing was in a different area to where he lives and he was told by his lawyer that in some cases journalists don't report those who won't be 'local'. Ofc it is luck of the draw on the day I guess.

My partner was sentenced for all categories for iioc and animal p*rn. But no journalist were there from what I can tell.

whyus

Member since
May 2019

56 posts

Posted Sun June 6, 2021 11:21amReport post

My ex's didn't hit the media, not even in a weekly court round upin the local paper. We were in magistrates court twice but both times we were in the juvenile court I think it's called. The first time the power went out in the main court he was meant or be in so they were being seen in the child's court room instead. The second time we weren't on the list for any court room when we arrived and it turns out he was being seen in the young offenders court again. As far as I'm aware media aren't allowed in that court so it was just dumb luck I think.

SadAndWorried

Member since
October 2019

154 posts

Posted Tue June 8, 2021 1:54pmReport post

Hi,

Thanks! It's good to be able to read some positive cases about the media. xxxx

Jo

Member since
December 2020

7 posts

Posted Wed May 18, 2022 12:53pmReport post

Hi all. My husband's case didn't get into the media at all. We lived in London at the time so was somehow expecting it to. Thank goodness it didn't.

It's lovely to have found this forum.

NMS

Member since
November 2021

97 posts

Posted Sun May 22, 2022 8:17amReport post

We have been advised by our solicitor that not many do go in the media now as there are so many incidents happening, had not helped my anxiety around it though.

Anyone else been told the same?

I'm pretty sure it really is pot luck :(

ACompleteMess

Member since
February 2022

57 posts

Posted Sun May 22, 2022 7:22pmReport post

I find the media coverage to be the thing that I stress and worry about the most. In my area it seems as though every single case surrounding child sexual offences is reported on. Some weeks there will be a case reported almost daily in my local area and I find myself obsessing over each and everyone of these articles. But the one thing I've noticed when obsessing over these articles is that almost every single one I've read have been quite serious offences in terms of child sexual crimes. Such as communication, distribution and possession/making with Cat A. I haven't seen a single media post with anyone that hasn't had possession of Cat A when it comes to iioc and that does give me some hope. We currently don't have the charges for my partner as still early days but the initial feed back he was given from his solicitor on the day of his arrest was that the small amount of images found on his phone were Cat C and partner is certain there's nothing else on the other devices. Not seen a case in the local media that includes charges of Cat C or B iioc only. Although there are so many cases reported in the local media weekly, I'm hoping and praying that not every case is reported and my partners will slip through without too much attention.

Blackbird

Member since
July 2021

43 posts

Posted Mon May 23, 2022 6:49pmReport post

My husbands case hit the media. Full articles detailing every detail of his offence. It first hit the papers around the court which isn't that close to where we live. A month later the same article hit our local press.



It scared the crap out me both times but nothing came of it at all. We're now over a month after the local article and life is normal.



What I would suggest is if you haven't tell your nearest and dearest. Just in case. This way they're not going to read some idiot journalist report and make assumptions. It allows you to control the narrative.

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Wed June 1, 2022 6:13pmReport post

Hiya.



Hubby had his sentencing today and no press inside or outside today. Have had a look online and nothing xx

The cat lady

Member since
June 2022

5 posts

Posted Tue June 28, 2022 4:58pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri July 15, 2022 9:30pm

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Tue June 28, 2022 9:37pmReport post

This is not to scare anyone but I genuinely didn't think ours would hit the media. It was so small.

It did and there were HUGE ramifications from it. It may have been because we stupidly stayed in our town... So my advice is to move away... You might have more success in it not being in the media.

Lolamoo73

Member since
November 2020

54 posts

Posted Fri July 1, 2022 10:40pmReport post

I rarely post on here now but I thought I'd respond to this one! My partners case didn't go in the media and we definitely expected it to. Thousands of images including 900 cat A (they stopped counting), possession and distribution. His barrister even said as she walked into the courtroom that the media were here and they would be publishing the sentence... but for some reason (and I count my lucky stars everyday), they didn't come into the courtroom! Other than the SOR and the check ins with diff people, our life is not much different to before the knock xx

Ellen44

Member since
November 2020

22 posts

Posted Sun July 3, 2022 8:55amReport post

My ex's case wasn't reported. I have no idea why. The local paper was even "virtually" present apparently. Cases much the same as his definitely were so think it was just pot luck. When it came to sentencing he was less lucky. The police supervising him thought he would get a suspended sentence, a friend who is a manager in Probation did too. No previous offences or anything. No contact offences. But his particular judge is apparently known for being tough. He was sentenced to 18 months. All just the luck of the draw. What I would add though is that I don't think his prison experience is half as awful as I would have feared, just very boring. The separation from our child has been the hard bit.

Layla

Member since
July 2022

1 post

Posted Tue July 26, 2022 3:13pmReport post

I just wanted to add to this thread, in case useful, that my partner has managed to remove the article that was written about his case from the big search engines (google, bing and facebook), after his conviction was spend. Its part of the GDPR law that you have the right to be forgotten, after a conviction is spend.

We were initially sceptical how difficult google would make it to actually be forgotten, but it has been quite straightforward for us, although I know this has not always been the case. This is the page for google: https://support.google.com/legal/answer/10769224?hl=en-GB

I know this will not help the moment the case might hit the media, but it has given us some reassurance it will not keep popping up for example when applying for new jobs etc.

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Sun August 21, 2022 9:54pmReport post

My oh's didn't. Sentencing in magistrates, didn't move, didn't change name. Consider ourselves very lucky and we are so grateful x

Globe trotter

Member since
June 2021

48 posts

Posted Wed August 24, 2022 11:12pmReport post

Well today i checked the online press and there it was, 2 days after the crown court case. We live in a small town and have been on our street for a long time. We know all the street. Its ok for hubby as he works from home but i have to go out and face the world. I am really angry for what he has done. The worse thing that its in the online space too. Hubby said that he will fill in the right to be forgotten link as soon as his suspended sentence is up

King85

Member since
December 2022

24 posts

Posted Mon January 9, 2023 4:53pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Tue January 9, 2024 10:57am

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Tue January 10, 2023 10:52amReport post

We had sentencing last week and a journalist was on the web link. A rather full and detailed report appeared in the paper later that day that was then shared on their FB page. His boss saw it and has suspended him. Lots of people we know have seen it, I've only had messages of support. It's not great, but also it hasn't been horrendous. Worse for my husband as he was completely blindsided by his boss as he hadn't realised it was in the paper. After burying his head in the sand for the last few months and hoping it would all go away, it has suddenly got very real for him.

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Tue January 10, 2023 11:41amReport post

My oh got put in a localish paper 6 days later nothing as been put on fb or any other paper that was 5 weeks ago and I'm still checking daily to see if it goes anywhere else. I don't really know how long is the safe zone of it not going anywhere else

NMS

Member since
November 2021

97 posts

Posted Tue January 10, 2023 5:57pmReport post

We have been very fortunate, no press were in court and nothing has been picked up in the media as far as we are aware.

I haven't been brave enough to check but my oh checked daily for the first 2 weeks post sentencing mid Dec, we've checked nothing since.

We are NW based, <100 making (I hate that term) iioc cat A-C.

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Sun January 15, 2023 6:28pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat January 6, 2024 1:03pm

NMS

Member since
November 2021

97 posts

Posted Mon January 16, 2023 1:23amReport post

Hi Kt, I don't mind at all xx

We had plea at magistrates, but entered a no plea as we had 2 distribution we wanted dropping as they couldn't confirm they had been received by anyone.

We then had plea at Crown and then sentencing at Crown also.

He got 40 rehabilitation days (these are actually seasons of about 1-2hrs each) and £1000 fine. 5 yrs SOR & SHPO (I think 10 Internet based restrictions mainly variations of no having cloud storage without them knowing and no browsing incognito or deleting history) we had letter of accountability and a few references including his counselor, the judge said my oh had a lot of mitigating factors. All these helped I think.

Good luck with your case and stay strong xx

Edited Mon January 16, 2023 1:28am

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 5:16pmReport post

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Edited Sat January 6, 2024 1:03pm

Confusedandsad1107

Member since
October 2021

13 posts

Posted Fri February 24, 2023 12:44amReport post

Hi

My oh was sentenced on Tuesday at crown court in a completely different city to where he lives and unfortunately there was a reporter there and was in the local papers the same day! It's been really distressing and it got circulated on fb pretty much straight away. I've come off fb now as I really don't want to know about the comments etc. No one has actually come up to me or him yet which I'm grateful for, but saying that, just trying to keep our heads down until it blows over. People's judgements and opinions are probably the worst thing about this whole journey as it is so stigmatised. I've lost family and friends completely. It's been awful. But we're just taking one day at a time now and just seeing what happens and moving forward. Xx

Mt123

Member since
March 2023

4 posts

Posted Sun March 19, 2023 11:07pmReport post

I'm new here it's not my oh but my son he's 22 on the autistic spectrum but he's just spent 4 years in army and seen some extreme bullying (not making excuses for him) but he's adiment he saw these image's because they were automatically downloaded to his iCloud which it can be if your settings on iPhone are set to auto download I've got so much going through my head at the moment it's made me so unwell my son is currently sectioned under the mental health act I feel I need to support him as innocent until proven guilty.

Mazsimp74

Member since
April 2023

1 post

Posted Sun April 16, 2023 9:08amReport post

I am new to all this, my autistic son is currently being charged with having cat A,B,C images, it's the most stressful thing we have ever been through, we are worried if this gets in the media as my son has a good job, I work at the same place as him so word would travel fast if this gets out into the media, he hasn't been court yet but solicitors reckons he will get 2 year suspended sentence. Having the sentence and punishment is fine but it's when it goes into social media that's when it's hard, we are in limbo and I feel we can't move forward as we are nervously waiting for court and seeing if any journalist will be there

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Mon April 17, 2023 3:53pmReport post

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Edited Sat January 6, 2024 1:03pm

Blue Sky

Member since
February 2023

205 posts

Posted Mon April 17, 2023 7:33pmReport post

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Edited Fri January 12, 2024 4:16pm

Blue Sky

Member since
February 2023

205 posts

Posted Tue April 18, 2023 5:55amReport post

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Edited Fri January 12, 2024 4:16pm

Blue Sky

Member since
February 2023

205 posts

Posted Tue April 18, 2023 5:55amReport post

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Edited Fri January 12, 2024 4:16pm

Blue Sky

Member since
February 2023

205 posts

Posted Tue April 18, 2023 5:55amReport post

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Edited Fri January 12, 2024 4:16pm

Mary Kate

Member since
February 2019

14 posts

Posted Sat April 29, 2023 8:54pmReport post

Hello

Ours didn't hit the media. It was posession of iioc in all categories around 600 or so. He got 6 months suspended for 2 years plus community service.

Solicitor said it was pot luck whether it hit media or not, depends on journo being there.

In the run up to it we did worry alot and ensured we deleted all trace of him on Internet e.g. social media etc so no personal details were available in case it did.

Good luck and hoping for all of you in this situation at the moment x

Edited Sat April 29, 2023 8:54pm

Isabella

Member since
May 2021

19 posts

Posted Mon October 2, 2023 9:35pmReport post

Hi. My son got three years for cat A and it was in the media and local news and mirror news. We are in our 70's Our son is adopted. Since 6 months old. I have 2 more birthchildren who now hate him and want us to cut all ties. My son was convicted of online stuff. He has never approached any kids. He is highly autistic and spent every minute in his room. The police reports were so graphic and horrendous to read. I could hardly believe it was my gentle son they were talking about. I am horrified by what I have learnt. He is like a Jekyll and Hide person. I feel as if I never knew him. I am torn in two. I love him but hate him too for what he has done. He has never shown empathy due to his autism. He does not seem to have any feelings about his crimes. Its us who are suffering. I am going out of my mind with grief and fear of people stopping me in the street. I cry all the time for my son who has ruined his life and ours. Our family is torn apart. I feel that I am being asked to choose. Him or my other kids.

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

775 posts

Posted Tue October 3, 2023 12:20pmReport post

Isabella I can sense your despair, fear and grief. My sons case was also in the media both on line and in the paper so I know what you mean about fearing to go out. Have you spoken to your GP. I am on medication for anxiety which doesn't remove the anxiety but does help it become manageable. I was also advised to take small steps in moving forward. Start by doing something little. Maybe a walk to the end of your road. Once you feel comfortable doing that then venture out a little further. Maybe a visit to a small local shop.
My heart goes out to you and knowing you are stuck in the middle between your children must be devestating. The whole situation is bad enough without having to navigate that. I haven't been in that situation so can only imagine how awful it must feel. Please keep posting on here so we can continue to offer you support.

Isabella

Member since
May 2021

19 posts

Posted Tue October 3, 2023 1:52pmReport post

Thank you for all your support. Days are very dark just now. I feel that I will have to choose between my own children and grandchildren and my adopted son. I can't lose all of my family. Has anyone else been in this predicament and how did they manage it? I am down for therapy but there is a long waiting list. I can't even see a doctor for three weeks. I am in despair over this. My son has rang from prison and does not seem to see how serious this all is. As i said before he has no empathy towards people. I wonder if he even loves me. When his grandma died he showed no emotion. Surely lack of empathy is in itself a sort of illness. Anything I say to my kids and they think I am making excuses for him. I cant turn from love to hate overnight. But it is helping to write this down so thank all of you out there.

SadAndWorried

Member since
October 2019

154 posts

Posted Thu June 27, 2024 7:25pmReport post

Just wanted to update. Our case didn't end up in the media x

sadso

Member since
December 2023

89 posts

Posted Thu June 27, 2024 8:48pmReport post

that's good to hear it will allow you to move forward a little easier xx

Bernie

Member since
June 2020

21 posts

Posted Sun August 4, 2024 12:39amReport post

We really hoped my ex's case wouldn't hit the media, it was mid-covid, so no public gallery or press and solicitor was super-confident we'd be fine.



We weren't. A week later, the police must have issued a press release (he was caught by a police sting operation) complete with photo and it was published online and in the local paper. Devastating! I had no idea who knew/who didn't know, that was the worst bit. Just yesterday, a colleague in a totally different area happened to mention he was aware of the situation and we're 3yrs post the article publication. A neighbour has now found it and is threatening me with disclosing it to the street. It's the gift that keeps on giving...