Media
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Morning everyone,
I wondered if anyone had any experience regarding the media and people finding out.
My partner has moved to a different town, not far away but out of the community we live in, in order for my children and I to disassociate ourselves.
I guess I'm worried and wondering about if it comes to press. He's obviously changed his address so that should be the address printed in the paper, he has a very generic name, nothing that stands out; what do people think the chances are that people within our community like my children's friends and parents will see it and know it's us?
how many of you have had it reported in the media? How much was written, was there a photo? He has been advised his case is very low level so shouldn't attract attention in court but there's no guarantee.
I'm also unsure of what people mean when they say it hit social media; does that mean the online paper? We don't have an online presence or social media accounts.
many thanks.
I wondered if anyone had any experience regarding the media and people finding out.
My partner has moved to a different town, not far away but out of the community we live in, in order for my children and I to disassociate ourselves.
I guess I'm worried and wondering about if it comes to press. He's obviously changed his address so that should be the address printed in the paper, he has a very generic name, nothing that stands out; what do people think the chances are that people within our community like my children's friends and parents will see it and know it's us?
how many of you have had it reported in the media? How much was written, was there a photo? He has been advised his case is very low level so shouldn't attract attention in court but there's no guarantee.
I'm also unsure of what people mean when they say it hit social media; does that mean the online paper? We don't have an online presence or social media accounts.
many thanks.
Hi Gia456
My ex husband was reported after the magistrate court, so no pictures, thank god, they usually use pictures after crown court, it was in the local paper, online news and all over Facebook, it was the main thing I was scared off, it being reported, because a lot of people know me because of my job. I had people coming up to me in the street to ask me about it, horrible. I didn't have anything horrible said about me on Facebook, people felt sorry for me, but there was loads of comments of "hang him" and they were going to beat him up, that sort of thing. Saying that, not everyone gets in the press, it's a bit hit or miss really.
My ex husband was reported after the magistrate court, so no pictures, thank god, they usually use pictures after crown court, it was in the local paper, online news and all over Facebook, it was the main thing I was scared off, it being reported, because a lot of people know me because of my job. I had people coming up to me in the street to ask me about it, horrible. I didn't have anything horrible said about me on Facebook, people felt sorry for me, but there was loads of comments of "hang him" and they were going to beat him up, that sort of thing. Saying that, not everyone gets in the press, it's a bit hit or miss really.
Hi Cher,
thanks for your response. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
I may seem dense but how does it end up all over Facebook?
many thanks.
thanks for your response. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
I may seem dense but how does it end up all over Facebook?
many thanks.
Hi Gia
It goes on Facebook by the newspaper having a social account which they then put the article on, this then can be shared by people on Facebook to their timelines.
We were in the paper, onlinemedia, Facebook and Twitter.
Anne
It goes on Facebook by the newspaper having a social account which they then put the article on, this then can be shared by people on Facebook to their timelines.
We were in the paper, onlinemedia, Facebook and Twitter.
Anne
Thank you Anne.
Do you mind me asking, was it a high profile case or anything that stood out?
Do you live in the same area as your partner/husband? did everyone you know find out?
We live in separate towns now and I have distanced myself but not sure if this is going to help with people making the connection.
Sorry you've been in a rubbish situation too.
Do you mind me asking, was it a high profile case or anything that stood out?
Do you live in the same area as your partner/husband? did everyone you know find out?
We live in separate towns now and I have distanced myself but not sure if this is going to help with people making the connection.
Sorry you've been in a rubbish situation too.
Gia
No he just worked in a normal office.He had 3 cat C in a deleted file.
It hit the media I believe because we live in a small village and nothing really happens here.
People did find out. I know of people who have gossip about us. Also family members found out, due to me deleting Facebook, Twitter etc and wondering what had happened to me so unfortunately Google our name and found out that way.
It is only in the news a few days, it does disappear.
Please look after you, its hit and miss if it makes the news, we were unfortunately very unlucky.
Anne
No he just worked in a normal office.He had 3 cat C in a deleted file.
It hit the media I believe because we live in a small village and nothing really happens here.
People did find out. I know of people who have gossip about us. Also family members found out, due to me deleting Facebook, Twitter etc and wondering what had happened to me so unfortunately Google our name and found out that way.
It is only in the news a few days, it does disappear.
Please look after you, its hit and miss if it makes the news, we were unfortunately very unlucky.
Anne
Anne,
thank you for responding again.
sorry you had to go through that; that must have been very tough for you to deal with.
thank you for sharing.
thank you for responding again.
sorry you had to go through that; that must have been very tough for you to deal with.
thank you for sharing.
There was a journalist that posted it online within hours of my partner being sentenced. We live in different towns so I was hopeful it would not come out where I live. Sadly this was not the case. Although it took about 2 to 3 weeks for a group of my friends to find out about it. They would not tell me how they found out. One friend then shared the online story on her fb page with other people I also know sharing it. I was devastated. This group of friends are no longer friends with me. The article not only had a picture of him, it also named the road he lived in. He was living with his elderly parents so I was really concerned about them but so far they have not suffered any backlash which I am thankful for. That was all saved for me !!!
Thankfully I had anticipated it becoming public knowledge so I had already closed my fb account, as well as deleting all of his social media footprint. Of which there was a lot! That was about a month ago now. Thankfully I have had no more backlash or problems. But I am now very paranoid wondering who knows and/or what they know.
I hope you can escape this as it is just another thing to worry about and we all have enough to stress us out.
What really upset me and made me mad was that he was not affected by this being shared on Fb as he is in prison, but myself (and potentially his parents would be) but sadly some people are just nasty. I have certainly found out who my friends are.
I wish you luck, and stay stong. X
Thankfully I had anticipated it becoming public knowledge so I had already closed my fb account, as well as deleting all of his social media footprint. Of which there was a lot! That was about a month ago now. Thankfully I have had no more backlash or problems. But I am now very paranoid wondering who knows and/or what they know.
I hope you can escape this as it is just another thing to worry about and we all have enough to stress us out.
What really upset me and made me mad was that he was not affected by this being shared on Fb as he is in prison, but myself (and potentially his parents would be) but sadly some people are just nasty. I have certainly found out who my friends are.
I wish you luck, and stay stong. X
The Divide,
thank you for sharing yours story. I completely agree; I don't think they suffer half as much as their families & children do.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
how far away did your partner move to do you mind me asking?
Have you been tempted to move?
x
thank you for sharing yours story. I completely agree; I don't think they suffer half as much as their families & children do.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
how far away did your partner move to do you mind me asking?
Have you been tempted to move?
x
Hi Gia,
It's very hit and miss as to whether it is reported in the media. My husbands case was reported after his magistrates hearing - but not his crown court appearance. There was a journalist at one but not the other (despite being in lockdown at the time) They used his arrest photo too which they obviously got from the police. Very small number of images (less than 10) and not remotely in the public interest but still it was reported. He had moved to a different town after his arrest so it was in that towns local paper rather than the town we lived in. I came off social media for a while too as I didn't want to see what was circulating on FB. I managed to get the newspaper to remove his photos after about 8 months.
I was totally preoccupied and terrified about the media aspect of it all. It wasn't as bad as I anticipated but was still a massive stress. Lots of cases aren't reported so don't make any rash decisions.... I'm glad I didn't move to a different town or uproot the children. There hasn't been any backlash.... I still don't know who knows and who doesn't and that is difficult day to day.
take care xx
It's very hit and miss as to whether it is reported in the media. My husbands case was reported after his magistrates hearing - but not his crown court appearance. There was a journalist at one but not the other (despite being in lockdown at the time) They used his arrest photo too which they obviously got from the police. Very small number of images (less than 10) and not remotely in the public interest but still it was reported. He had moved to a different town after his arrest so it was in that towns local paper rather than the town we lived in. I came off social media for a while too as I didn't want to see what was circulating on FB. I managed to get the newspaper to remove his photos after about 8 months.
I was totally preoccupied and terrified about the media aspect of it all. It wasn't as bad as I anticipated but was still a massive stress. Lots of cases aren't reported so don't make any rash decisions.... I'm glad I didn't move to a different town or uproot the children. There hasn't been any backlash.... I still don't know who knows and who doesn't and that is difficult day to day.
take care xx
Bellebee,
Thank you for writing back to my post, that was really helpful.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Did your husband move far away? and was it his new address that was printed in the paper?
I hope you don't mind me asking but have you stayed together? What is life like for you now, and what was his sentence?
many thanks.
G x
Thank you for writing back to my post, that was really helpful.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Did your husband move far away? and was it his new address that was printed in the paper?
I hope you don't mind me asking but have you stayed together? What is life like for you now, and what was his sentence?
many thanks.
G x
Hi Gia,
he moved to another town - it was this address that was printed in the paper. He got a two yr suspended sentence and ten yrs on the SOR and a SHPO. He's now living back at home. There are no restrictions on contact with the children and we are no longer under SS. Life is quite normal! We are working on things. Just take one day at a time xxx
he moved to another town - it was this address that was printed in the paper. He got a two yr suspended sentence and ten yrs on the SOR and a SHPO. He's now living back at home. There are no restrictions on contact with the children and we are no longer under SS. Life is quite normal! We are working on things. Just take one day at a time xxx
Hi Gia
My partner lives about 30 milea away from me. The irony of the situation is after he first had the 'Knock' he moved area with his parents partly so that if and when anything happened nobody knew them. He then met me. And sadly I have been hit the hardest by this in terms of the Media..thankfully his parents have had zero backlash/problems. I am sure once he comes out of prison he will have lost a lot of friends but at the moment he is isolated from the fallout. Meanwhile I have already lost friends and I am getting pressure from every angle. I think until I announce to the world that he is a monster and that I hate him and will never see or speak to him again I will continue to get grief from certain people. This makes me really sad, angry and frustrated. I feel I am having to do what everyone else wants me to do. And not what I want to do. Peer pressure at its best here.
No I do not think about moving away. Although it would be tempting to move where nobody knows me just so I could do what I want with regards to whatever kind of relationship I have with him either as a partner or just a friend. I sm feeling very angry at the moment with the whole situation x
My partner lives about 30 milea away from me. The irony of the situation is after he first had the 'Knock' he moved area with his parents partly so that if and when anything happened nobody knew them. He then met me. And sadly I have been hit the hardest by this in terms of the Media..thankfully his parents have had zero backlash/problems. I am sure once he comes out of prison he will have lost a lot of friends but at the moment he is isolated from the fallout. Meanwhile I have already lost friends and I am getting pressure from every angle. I think until I announce to the world that he is a monster and that I hate him and will never see or speak to him again I will continue to get grief from certain people. This makes me really sad, angry and frustrated. I feel I am having to do what everyone else wants me to do. And not what I want to do. Peer pressure at its best here.
No I do not think about moving away. Although it would be tempting to move where nobody knows me just so I could do what I want with regards to whatever kind of relationship I have with him either as a partner or just a friend. I sm feeling very angry at the moment with the whole situation x