Family and Friends Forum

So we got the knock the 28th October 2020,, my partner was arrested for grooming and trafficking,, but two weeks later it changed to independent messages. Ss came and have been really really hard work tiring and emotionally challenging,, I would like to say you know the individual better than anyone and don't lose sign of that and yes we don't condone the behaviour in anyone but their are many things to why we have came to this group. I have cried like never before till had no more,, felt sick,, I want to lay down and not get back up but my kids would of lose everything. So I decided I was going to take back control and this is how I started

* be kind to yourself

* you can't pour from a empty glass

* no matter what anyone body tells you it's not your fault its their behaviour not your

* there is no right or wrong way to deal with this it's about what's right for you.

So my partner went to court on the 4 Feb 2020 and was charged with publishing obsense article which was a conversation with a undercover police decoy. It was very hard to deal with he got 15 months and served 7 we talked a lot thro whilst he was in side.

I have done the informed course thro stop it now

I use the helpline regularly

My partner is now released and we are getting lots of help to try and build a new normal,,

Take it hour by hour at

Don't make life changing decisions when angry or stressed,, try to clean ur mind,,

Talk to a couple of trusted family or friends,,

There is hope in this and light hold on to that,,

And keep coming here to talk and stop it so for support and help xx

All the through this the emotions you feel are really and u have right to feel them don't let anyone tell you other wise. I remeber in this all going on just getting up feeding the kids and getting them washed and to school. Then it all take of it was all I could think about was he the p word like everyone keep telling me was he the predator they keep telling me. It felt like was always running on this tred mill not knowing what was around the next corn or when it was all going to blow up in my face again. Ss telling me they did not trust me cause my son and daughter would talk about him and I would not remove pictures I would not close question down about him. I told my child the truth as much as possible to their understand I strongly believe this has served me as both are doing well at school and very settled where I believe I if I had listened to ss then I think I would have two different children. Listen to ur gut mine has never done me wrong,, but also never tell ss he would not hurt my children cause u are seen to be minamising his behaviour,, never I am 100% he would not because we can never be 100% about anything in life. Its to be OK but it's also OK not to be OK and to ask your gp for help. I am very lucky my auntie gave me great advice thro this this is a malthon not a race and to take it slowly. So I asked for disclosure and my partner gave it to me and I worker with that all our devices came back clear so I decided that I would only deal with hard facts and nothing more,, my partner is broken and ill,, I will support him through this because again my daughter has to be safe but she also needs her dad and that's OK. Just slow down a look round I know there more work to be done but we getting there I never thought I would get to here but I am stronger than before but let the emotions come and go let them out and here is safe and no judgement will let know then we get more news in our jounery xx

Thank u tab I put it up because I never want someone to feel like they have nothing and does not matter hard it is as long as we have hope then we can make it,,

Its OK not to be OK to,,

And that prevent is better than crue.

I just wanted to give something to all the people who have helped to get me here and I know it's a long journey but hope it helps someone xx