Family and Friends Forum

Hi Chrissy, so sorry to hear of your predicament. What an awful situation.



Firstly I would think it’s not a fraud allegation if he’s been given a LF leaflet and why would a fraud allegation mean he has to have supervised contact with a child?

Im not sure about the legalities of the police informing you of the reason for his arrest however if it’s expectec you take on the ‘supervisory’ role you need to know what you are protecting the child from! Not given any details such as what intelligence led to the arrest but a basic outline to the allegation.

The parents (your own children) would need to be informed certainly, they need to make informed choices about contact or not.

Try telling your husband that you suspect more is happening than he lets on. Eventually it will come out, even if he’s not charged SS will be wanting to know from the police what contact he has with children so that they are happy your grandchild/ren are safe.

Itll be much, much worse for him to come out in that way. He needs to face this head on, for his sake and his families sake.

Sorry to hear you are in this terrible situation. I believe unless you have children at home the police will not tell you what he was arrested for, they advised me that i was only given information because we have children at home. Will he discuss further what the fraud is? I think fraud would not have anything to do with access to children. If you know the name of the officer dealing then you could contact them and ask as you need to ensure any children in the family are kept safe while the investigation is ongoing. Sit your partner down to discuss whats happened, whether its fraud or sonething else as a partner you need and want to know whats going on. I hope that you are able to get answers, the not knowing must be very difficult.

Hi, I am also very sorry to hear your having such a difficult time. It’s awful that it’s the weekend too so services are not available.

jaded is right unfortunately, it must be more than fraud. Your husband does have to tell you the truth. This will be hard for him but better than not disclosing.



the offending Lucy faithful deal with are of a sexual nature. This doesn’t mean he has done a contact offence to a child but will likely mean he has been exploring illegal content on the internet. You may need to give him some options and he can say yes or no. Tell him you will call the lead investigation officer tomorrow and they will likely give you some indication of what he was arrested for. like jaded said they may not be able to disclose the intelligence they have but if you need to be a safe adult to support contact with grandchildren. The police will need to say what for.

If you can also Call the Lucy faithful foundation Monday too for support. The team there are lovely and will be able to offer some reassurance. They are just a small team so you may need to try a few times to get through.

you do need to be brave though, I am still navigate through the pain and my knock was before Christmas.

So pleased you found us.

it may feel very isolating but your not alone. Xxx





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Must have messaged back at the exact same time as Maria. I don’t know if the police will share, o know as I was there when he was arrested. I am pretty sure your husband will need to tell you. If grandchildren come to your home children services may be in contact with their parents.

Your husband world has imploded. He is probably very fearful. I think by knowing you have looked at Lucy faithful foundation should make sharing with you easier as you have likely got a good guess.

good luck Krissy please update is. Everyone os so supportive on here. Xxx

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It's so confusing because I think different police forces do different things.

In my case the police wouldn't tell me anything due to data protection so mine was all relying on my husband which turned out to be a bunch of kids. I only found out by accident that he was in court and only by going to court did I find out what he's been charged with

Certainly try the police you may be lucky and certainly if there are children in the family you need to know what you're dealing with

Lots of love xx

Krispy I feared it might be something like that. I wondered why all the devices in the house were not removed.

But now you know and he must feel better getting that out in the open?

Hope you keep strong and look after yourself.

Krissy! This bloody phone!

Feeling shell shocked, empty, in limbo, confused. Those are all strong feelings and emotions too. You may find the anger takes a while to come through and the tears. I felt totally shocked and empty to start but all the other emotions soon came through. My partner was accused of similar. Sadly its likely to be a rollercoaster of emotions so dont be hard on yourself, theres no right or wrong way to feel. The waiting is hard, keep talking and keep going over everything. You dont need to rush how you feel and you cannot make the police investigation go any faster, all you can do is think about what you want, how you feel and find out what you need to know.

Its been about 6 months, my partner has been charged and court is coming up. Its been tough and im sure the next bit is gonna be maybe the hardest but for me its been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. The way i have felt has changed over those months and im sure will continue to over the next few. My advice is ask your partner difficult questions, get answers to all that you need and wsnt to know. Get help for yourself, while to some degree you must keep it quite dont let it become your burden. Call the helpline, talk to friends and family, see the doctor, take to a councellor/tgerapist.