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Hi ladie and gentlemen
So I have been told I complex PTSD and my partner was released last Friday and I was doing really well coping with things and we had cpc meet before his released and then Friday came I range ss and probation and told them I had booked appointment to get my device back.
Then I dropped my daughter at school then the next thing I know I was sitting outside the prison waiting for him to be released time passed then there he was just standing there. I broke then he got in the car and I told him not to tell probation I had picked him up,, I then drive half way to his shared house and turned around and came home.
We text and called over the weekend then I meet him again on the Couple of times to take cloths to him and wash stuff and CD. He kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug and probation have gone off the deep at us because we did not notify her we was meeting and she then told me I could of got him recalled.
I just can't remember feeling to ability to think clear or make a wise decision,, my ability was not there.
I just had this overwhelming feeling that I need to see if he's OK and to see it for my own eyes,, I just wish I had not liared but I find it so hard to trust anyone but I did to my husband. Now ss will be coming on Tuesday and I know she going to go mad to but why can't they understand that we have been thro all this in 9 month from arrest to prison to release. Forcing on my child making sure they are OK and safe,, having these meeting telling me I am vulnerable and being minpulated by my husband. These have weight to bear on u to hear over and over I need to move cause my child are a serious risk of harm from. I don't know how to take her on Tuesday I am just going to tell her about my diagnosis and how I plan to try and deal with it moving forward I don't know what more to do.
So I have been told I complex PTSD and my partner was released last Friday and I was doing really well coping with things and we had cpc meet before his released and then Friday came I range ss and probation and told them I had booked appointment to get my device back.
Then I dropped my daughter at school then the next thing I know I was sitting outside the prison waiting for him to be released time passed then there he was just standing there. I broke then he got in the car and I told him not to tell probation I had picked him up,, I then drive half way to his shared house and turned around and came home.
We text and called over the weekend then I meet him again on the Couple of times to take cloths to him and wash stuff and CD. He kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug and probation have gone off the deep at us because we did not notify her we was meeting and she then told me I could of got him recalled.
I just can't remember feeling to ability to think clear or make a wise decision,, my ability was not there.
I just had this overwhelming feeling that I need to see if he's OK and to see it for my own eyes,, I just wish I had not liared but I find it so hard to trust anyone but I did to my husband. Now ss will be coming on Tuesday and I know she going to go mad to but why can't they understand that we have been thro all this in 9 month from arrest to prison to release. Forcing on my child making sure they are OK and safe,, having these meeting telling me I am vulnerable and being minpulated by my husband. These have weight to bear on u to hear over and over I need to move cause my child are a serious risk of harm from. I don't know how to take her on Tuesday I am just going to tell her about my diagnosis and how I plan to try and deal with it moving forward I don't know what more to do.
Hi Vickie,
I am sorry you are going through this, i no how u feel as i feel all the pressure of being on cp and ss not letting me supervise has made me feel like i am getting pstd, and u have no one to talk to who understands wat we are going through.
Is there a reason u are not allowed to see him, without them knowing?
has he got restrictions now he is out? surely they should be keeping u informed and discussing with u wat is going to happen?
here if you need to talk
I am sorry you are going through this, i no how u feel as i feel all the pressure of being on cp and ss not letting me supervise has made me feel like i am getting pstd, and u have no one to talk to who understands wat we are going through.
Is there a reason u are not allowed to see him, without them knowing?
has he got restrictions now he is out? surely they should be keeping u informed and discussing with u wat is going to happen?
here if you need to talk
Hi Dawn
He does he's meant to inform probation about who is meeting and I did not really think it all the way thro and had people around going well how would they know if u meet and I fell into listening to others instead of my head and I can't say that to ss. I just now going to keep my head down and show that is was just a mistake it's just not fair when all u hear is the things u can't do.
Its horrible all these emotions and ss just say walk and u feel better,, its like no that does work,, u have to work thro them of I will never heal or recover x
I had also stopped coming on here and talking about what I was going to do and get advice before I did it but I now also understand that PSTD don't always give u warning sign ur dipping into ur in the moment and it's to later to fix it xx
He does he's meant to inform probation about who is meeting and I did not really think it all the way thro and had people around going well how would they know if u meet and I fell into listening to others instead of my head and I can't say that to ss. I just now going to keep my head down and show that is was just a mistake it's just not fair when all u hear is the things u can't do.
Its horrible all these emotions and ss just say walk and u feel better,, its like no that does work,, u have to work thro them of I will never heal or recover x
I had also stopped coming on here and talking about what I was going to do and get advice before I did it but I now also understand that PSTD don't always give u warning sign ur dipping into ur in the moment and it's to later to fix it xx
Hi Vickie,
i can understand its easier to fall in the moment, it is so hard, ss just see the bad in our oh while we no them better, im not sure if you are the same person who messaged me on another post asking where i thought id gone wrong? if you are its hard to explain but ss think i have been down playing wat he was done for, but its not that easy especially when u have kids, i didnt mean to down play wat he has done but it was 2years plus from the knock to going to court and as ive said i have been dealing with a suicial teenager, we just wanted it over with.
I have only been on this forum a few days and i have got a number for the family group that might be able to help me, i have learnt im not alone and that i am normal for trying to keep my family together, as ss have made me feel like im not.
All i can say is please be honest with them, i no its a pain but we can get through this together, again from wat i have learnt from here is with ss u need to accept that he maybe a risk to ur child/children and take steps to show u acknoweldge it
i can understand its easier to fall in the moment, it is so hard, ss just see the bad in our oh while we no them better, im not sure if you are the same person who messaged me on another post asking where i thought id gone wrong? if you are its hard to explain but ss think i have been down playing wat he was done for, but its not that easy especially when u have kids, i didnt mean to down play wat he has done but it was 2years plus from the knock to going to court and as ive said i have been dealing with a suicial teenager, we just wanted it over with.
I have only been on this forum a few days and i have got a number for the family group that might be able to help me, i have learnt im not alone and that i am normal for trying to keep my family together, as ss have made me feel like im not.
All i can say is please be honest with them, i no its a pain but we can get through this together, again from wat i have learnt from here is with ss u need to accept that he maybe a risk to ur child/children and take steps to show u acknoweldge it
That's it Dawn I have seen my triggers and now know what I need to do when I am feeling overwhelming emotions see Dawn for us it's only been 9 months from the knock to court to being released. I have forces so much on my kids and getting a understand of what he has done and trying to dealing with my pass traumas that I have fallen into a trap of not dealing with what was happening here and now. I see that now and I am addressing,, just wish that instead of people telling u what u should do,, why cant they explain things more instead ur vulnerable and you been minalputed. Your not the only one dawn I was told from the being I had down played what my part oh had done and made excuses for him to. We get left behind emotionally and ss don't help with it to good its hard work but here to the next fight bring it on xx hope ur doing OK Dawn I think I have spoken to on stop so I think,
Hi Vickie,
I need to try and deal with things but i am so exhausted i just sleep while my youngest is in school. People keep telling me i need to hang on in there but its just taking to long and i seem to be the one doing all the work, not my OH fault he is doing wat probation want but he im the one who has to do the coourses and stuff its doing my head in. Our first sw was a bloody nightmare and just had it in for my hubby, and now its hard to get them to see, but i am worried that im not reacting how they waant me to, i think ive shut down, my councillor thought i may be on the autism spectrum as she says im not showing emotion but ive been to hell and back i think ive ran out of emotion. I just want things to be back to normal or wat i call our new normal.
I need to try and deal with things but i am so exhausted i just sleep while my youngest is in school. People keep telling me i need to hang on in there but its just taking to long and i seem to be the one doing all the work, not my OH fault he is doing wat probation want but he im the one who has to do the coourses and stuff its doing my head in. Our first sw was a bloody nightmare and just had it in for my hubby, and now its hard to get them to see, but i am worried that im not reacting how they waant me to, i think ive shut down, my councillor thought i may be on the autism spectrum as she says im not showing emotion but ive been to hell and back i think ive ran out of emotion. I just want things to be back to normal or wat i call our new normal.
It's so hard hun because they make their minds up and I understand what your saying because I was doing well then he was released and I went and meet him a couple of time and she gone off the deep about it and that I am I have had 8 month to deal with it all did not realise we are on a time line for grief to deal with its a joke how we are treated x
Hi Vickie,
It is a joke, like I say after all the trauma they have put me through since November no wonder I now feel like I have pstd. They say I. Have just been thinking about how I feel which is complete rubbish, my kids never see me upset, and I'd I have brought my feelings into it its because they were no help when my eldest was overdosing or cutting herself which obviously is horrendous to deal with I a normal situation its even worse when the only person who understands cant be with you. Sorry for my rant
It is a joke, like I say after all the trauma they have put me through since November no wonder I now feel like I have pstd. They say I. Have just been thinking about how I feel which is complete rubbish, my kids never see me upset, and I'd I have brought my feelings into it its because they were no help when my eldest was overdosing or cutting herself which obviously is horrendous to deal with I a normal situation its even worse when the only person who understands cant be with you. Sorry for my rant
Dawn never apologise that's what we are all here for is to listen to each other and help each thro this,,
And we have no where else to go,, people that are not walking in our shoes will not get it or even try to understand it, hope ur daughter is getting help that she needs xx
And we have no where else to go,, people that are not walking in our shoes will not get it or even try to understand it, hope ur daughter is getting help that she needs xx