Family and Friends Forum

This is going to sound funny but stop slow down and breath please don't jump in a rush making decisions because I have learnt making decisions in hash can be more have more problems in the future hun.

The emotions do carm but these are the things that go me thro

* stop and breath

Talking on here and the helpline

Speaking to my GP

Eating small meals and sleeping u need to look after yourself,, u can't pour from a empty cup

U also need to put urself first and make sure ur making time for u

We are all here for u

Hi wee witch,

I am a mum also to a 22 Yr old who was charged with iioc, and a suspended sentence given , please as already advised slow down this çoùld take ages, dont tell too many people, you and you son will feel all sorts of emotions , its very early days, just reassure him you will get through this, dont be taking out credit cards for legal fees you dont have to, he will most likely be entitled to legal aid , and from what I have learnt I dont think you will get a better solicitor by throwing loads of cash at them , what end of the country are you , I so wish we mums could have a meet group ,

Weewitch. I am so sorry for what you are going through.



I would agree with my fellow forum members, and take a breath.



Limit who you tell at this stage as it is still early days.
unfortunately the police take their time with investigations and then you have to factor in delays in court due to covid.



I sought GP advice for myself and My Husband when he was questioned.



Take this time to care for yourself and family and learn from this forum as much as you can.
The helpline team are an absolute lifeline which I would encourage you to take advantage of.



remember, you aren't alone. You have us.

Hi

It's all such a shock. I remember the time after the knock for the first week after I went to work pretended all was ok until I had a break down at work and was sent home.
I took a month off (signed off by my doctor) which I took to get my head sorted and sort my finances and my children out with the interference of social services and other care professionals. I say interference as they don't help the situation any.
it's now 8 months in that my manager and my best friend has noticed the change in me I'm more calm I'm more head strong and I'm ready to fight and stand up for myself and my children.
keep coming here read old posts and post daily if u need to there's always someone around and u may feel alone but ur not. All our journeys and stories are different but we are all affected in the same way.
stay safe x

Hi I completely understand your the utter dipair you are feeling at the moment. My 21 year old also got arrested on Tuesday. I also love him deeply and can't understand what has been going on to lead to this and how we didn't know his self esteem was so low. Im sorry I don't have answers for you as I am going through exactly the same in these first few days. Lets hope we can get through this together with the support from this group.

WeeWitch, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through - I have a similar situation with my 21 year old son. He got the knock about 6 weeks ago and I understand your devastation. The other lovely ladies are right in saying don't rush into anything and be careful who you tell; you're in a state of shock right now and you need some time to process things. I dealt with everything calmly and efficiently for the first couple of weeks then pretty much lost the plot, so my advise is to look after your son's wellbeing and your own and seek lots of advice and support on here regarding the possible outcomes. Sending you love and hugs, you're not alone xx

Dear Wee witch



I haven't managed to read you posts but I gather this is related to your sons offence. Please be kind to yourselves, although difficult please try to stay calm and in control. Be very selective in who you tell and tell only those that you can trust in confidence. So that you and you son have some support. My son self disclosed to the police, we didn't get a knock. He received a caution, so it didnt go to court. This happened in December 2020. He has restrictions based on the caution having to inform the police if he stays over with friends etc and has to check company policies before going to places like theme parks etc . How old is your son? Mine was 23 .
its a case of learning to live with now , my son having to find a diffetent career pathway . This does change things and after the storm we learn to live in the calm ! And manage the risk and hope that it dosent happen again



take care of yourselves big virtual hug x