In denial
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I was wondering whether anyone has had the same problem as me. My son who is 41, and has some learning difficulties, lives alone in his own flat independently with input from family. He was caught in June 2020 by the police for arranging to meet a 13 year old ( police decoy) but was apprehended before he left his flat. He would have been arrested and taken to the police station, but told the officers that they couldn't take him because he had Covid symptoms (this was a blatant lie) they seized his phone which was forensically examined, and has just recently attended the police station to answer questions as to what was found on it. He hasn't told me anything about the interview, but I have been able to get some basic facts from one of the investigating officers. There was the conversation between him and the decoy and a video which the police couldn't tell me about without my son's permission. So I'm guessing the video is of him! It's going to cps and the solicitor told my son he would be put on the SOR. He tells me he's not going on that register as he's done nothing wrong, and has not touched anyone. Where do I go from here as I'm failing to make him see that he has to face the consequences of his actions.
Hi Lozza,
I am pleased that you have reached out for some support and advice from other forum members, we have noticed you have not yet received a reply from other users and hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support. In any case, I would encourage you to contact us on our confidential Stop It Now! helpline on 0808 1000 900. One of our advisors will then be able to discuss your situation with you further and provide tailored guidance and advice including advice around how to speak to your son around this.
We are unable to comment on whether or not your son has committed an offence but it might be difficult for him to come to terms with his behaviour, especially given that he has learning difficulties so it may take numerous conversations and some time before he feels comfortable talking about this and accepting it himself. I wonder if he has been able to call our helpline or would be willing to? Sometimes it is helpful to have someone to talk to independent of the situation. It can feel frustrating but it is best to let your son know you are willing to support him once he feels more comfortable speaking about what has happened and open communication is the best way for both of you to move forward.
It is really important to look after yourself in the meantime. It might be helpful to confide in a close family member or friend about what you are going through so you are not struggling alone. The helpline is also a great place to talk through your concerns and receive ongoing support.
Take care,
Lucy
I am pleased that you have reached out for some support and advice from other forum members, we have noticed you have not yet received a reply from other users and hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support. In any case, I would encourage you to contact us on our confidential Stop It Now! helpline on 0808 1000 900. One of our advisors will then be able to discuss your situation with you further and provide tailored guidance and advice including advice around how to speak to your son around this.
We are unable to comment on whether or not your son has committed an offence but it might be difficult for him to come to terms with his behaviour, especially given that he has learning difficulties so it may take numerous conversations and some time before he feels comfortable talking about this and accepting it himself. I wonder if he has been able to call our helpline or would be willing to? Sometimes it is helpful to have someone to talk to independent of the situation. It can feel frustrating but it is best to let your son know you are willing to support him once he feels more comfortable speaking about what has happened and open communication is the best way for both of you to move forward.
It is really important to look after yourself in the meantime. It might be helpful to confide in a close family member or friend about what you are going through so you are not struggling alone. The helpline is also a great place to talk through your concerns and receive ongoing support.
Take care,
Lucy