All I can think about
Notifications OFF
I just don't know where to turn tbh :( we got a knock on the door a couple of weeks ago now from the police to arrest my partner for iioc. I'm one of these people that thought that this would never happen to me.
My partner has been realised on bail to our home and police has said he isn't a risk to the children at all. I'm getting a visit from a social worker next week, I'm just so scared of what is going to happen with everything :(. The solicitor has said he is looking at prison and the thought of it makes me feel sick. I'm trying to keep as normal as possible for my children but all I keep doing is crying.
I have asked so many questions but receive very little answers.
I'm just after some advice on the situation xx
My partner has been realised on bail to our home and police has said he isn't a risk to the children at all. I'm getting a visit from a social worker next week, I'm just so scared of what is going to happen with everything :(. The solicitor has said he is looking at prison and the thought of it makes me feel sick. I'm trying to keep as normal as possible for my children but all I keep doing is crying.
I have asked so many questions but receive very little answers.
I'm just after some advice on the situation xx
Hi Nas,
This sounds like a really difficult time for you so it is really positive that you have been able to come to this forum for some support. Hopefully some other forum members who have been in similar situations will be able reply with some advice and support, soon.
Although I can appreciate this is not an easy subject to talk about, I would encourage you to phone our Stop it Now! helpline on 0808 1000 900, if possible. You will be able to discuss your situation in more detail with one of our trained helpline advisors who can provide you with the best advice possible. Please be assured that the helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone.
Finding out that a loved one has been engaging in this type of offence can be a huge shock. People in this situation can feel a whole host of emotions. They can feel confused, because they may feel angry and betrayed, yet love this person and want to support them. It is made additionally difficult when children are involved and you are left to manage the impact on them as well as how you feel. I want to reassure you it is common to feel mixed emotions towards your partner at this time and there is no need to make rushed decisions in terms of feeling either one way or another towards him.The most essential thing would be to maintain open communication with him so that you can both decide the best way to move forward.
The most important thing that you can do at the moment is to talk to someone about what you are going through so that you are not struggling along by yourself. It might be worth considering booking an appointment with your GP, so you can talk to someone face to face about how you are feeling. They may also be able to refer you to other services that might be able to support you.
One resource you might find helpful is our Parents Protect website, there is a lot of information on there about keeping children safe that you might find useful, particularly the section on creating a Family Safety Plan, which you can find here:https://www.parentsprotect.co.uk/create-a-family-safety-plan.htm.You might find it helpful to complete this plan to show to your social worker that you recognise that there could be potential risks and how you will manage these.
I hope you are able to find some support around your situation. You have only found out about your partner’s behaviour quite recently so it is okay to allow yourself to feel upset and time to absorb the shock of what has happened. I hope you will be able to reach out to us.
Best wishes,
Lucy
This sounds like a really difficult time for you so it is really positive that you have been able to come to this forum for some support. Hopefully some other forum members who have been in similar situations will be able reply with some advice and support, soon.
Although I can appreciate this is not an easy subject to talk about, I would encourage you to phone our Stop it Now! helpline on 0808 1000 900, if possible. You will be able to discuss your situation in more detail with one of our trained helpline advisors who can provide you with the best advice possible. Please be assured that the helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone.
Finding out that a loved one has been engaging in this type of offence can be a huge shock. People in this situation can feel a whole host of emotions. They can feel confused, because they may feel angry and betrayed, yet love this person and want to support them. It is made additionally difficult when children are involved and you are left to manage the impact on them as well as how you feel. I want to reassure you it is common to feel mixed emotions towards your partner at this time and there is no need to make rushed decisions in terms of feeling either one way or another towards him.The most essential thing would be to maintain open communication with him so that you can both decide the best way to move forward.
The most important thing that you can do at the moment is to talk to someone about what you are going through so that you are not struggling along by yourself. It might be worth considering booking an appointment with your GP, so you can talk to someone face to face about how you are feeling. They may also be able to refer you to other services that might be able to support you.
One resource you might find helpful is our Parents Protect website, there is a lot of information on there about keeping children safe that you might find useful, particularly the section on creating a Family Safety Plan, which you can find here:https://www.parentsprotect.co.uk/create-a-family-safety-plan.htm.You might find it helpful to complete this plan to show to your social worker that you recognise that there could be potential risks and how you will manage these.
I hope you are able to find some support around your situation. You have only found out about your partner’s behaviour quite recently so it is okay to allow yourself to feel upset and time to absorb the shock of what has happened. I hope you will be able to reach out to us.
Best wishes,
Lucy
I was in a similar situation in March so still very new to this process. Like you had a lovely life and was very naive to think this would never happen to me. My life has been turned upside down.
like you my husband wasn't deemed at risk to the children and is at home with us, he tried to commit suicide so it was decided it was better for him to be at home. The social worker saw us a few times and was happy that I was able to say that the children would be protectsd( there is no limits on his bail conditions) they did some work about safe touch with my 9 and 4 year old. Thank fully my 9 year old just saw it as like a teacher coming to the house to do a lesson. I have no idea where to turn either, what to do or what will happen. He is bmbeey much home for the sake of the children and to save face for our friends but I am so broken and so desperately unhappy and I know this process can go on for months and months. Thinking of you and all us innocent people dragged into this
like you my husband wasn't deemed at risk to the children and is at home with us, he tried to commit suicide so it was decided it was better for him to be at home. The social worker saw us a few times and was happy that I was able to say that the children would be protectsd( there is no limits on his bail conditions) they did some work about safe touch with my 9 and 4 year old. Thank fully my 9 year old just saw it as like a teacher coming to the house to do a lesson. I have no idea where to turn either, what to do or what will happen. He is bmbeey much home for the sake of the children and to save face for our friends but I am so broken and so desperately unhappy and I know this process can go on for months and months. Thinking of you and all us innocent people dragged into this