How do I support when I’m struggling myself
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Hi all,
I am wondering how you ladies support your partners when struggling yourself.
my partner is under investigation from March 21 for iioc so we are waiting for his phone to be checked. The issue I have is when the police came knocking and he was released he went and tried to commit suicide which led to a hospital stay for a month.
He is home and having therapy weekly but has said that he still have suicidal thoughts occasionally. I am functioning from one day to the next with my 2 young children, basically Not living a life at all. I don't see how this is fair on me. I don't know if we will stay together. I don't see how we can as I do not want to lose my friends or my children to lose theirs because of his actions.
I feel sorry for him as he is struggling with what he has done but at the same time I am worried how he is going to cope with all that is coming ie court, sentencing, all that comes with a SHPO etc...... I don't feel like I can do it but altho I feel like I am better off just me and the kids I am so worried about his suicide risk as I know how vulnerable he is. I feel like me and the children should be my priority and feel like I am dealing with another child and I do want him alive to have some kind of relationship with his children. It feels like I am going to have to out on a massive front to support him and be kind when I am struggling inside with everything
I am wondering how you ladies support your partners when struggling yourself.
my partner is under investigation from March 21 for iioc so we are waiting for his phone to be checked. The issue I have is when the police came knocking and he was released he went and tried to commit suicide which led to a hospital stay for a month.
He is home and having therapy weekly but has said that he still have suicidal thoughts occasionally. I am functioning from one day to the next with my 2 young children, basically Not living a life at all. I don't see how this is fair on me. I don't know if we will stay together. I don't see how we can as I do not want to lose my friends or my children to lose theirs because of his actions.
I feel sorry for him as he is struggling with what he has done but at the same time I am worried how he is going to cope with all that is coming ie court, sentencing, all that comes with a SHPO etc...... I don't feel like I can do it but altho I feel like I am better off just me and the kids I am so worried about his suicide risk as I know how vulnerable he is. I feel like me and the children should be my priority and feel like I am dealing with another child and I do want him alive to have some kind of relationship with his children. It feels like I am going to have to out on a massive front to support him and be kind when I am struggling inside with everything
Hi have u used the helpline for support hun,,
Here are some tips that where given to me in the early days,,,
Stop and breath - I know this is easier said than done but u need to just slow things down,,
Take it hour by hour and only deal with the facts not hear say,,
You can't pour from a empty cup,, you need to look after yourself take time for u and make sure ur eating small amount and sleeping when u can.
People you think will stand by you they will not,, but the people you think will leave they will not.
Keep coming on here and asking for support and advice,, use the helpline as much as u need if u ring and it says its busy just hold on you will get a a answer.
You will not lose your children also long as they are at no risk of harm ss have to prove they are to remove children from parent care.
Fear is a mind set and try not to look to far a head,, and try not to wasted engery on why,, but,, if. U need your engery for u and the children.
Don't make big decisions when stress or been pressured into making them,,
Its OK not to be OK and to say for help that could be from here the gp stop so.
The emotional rollcoster is hard but over time it does slow down,,
Its not ur fault and their is no right or wrong way to deal with this,, u have to do what is right for u and ur children none else.
Hope this helps in some way hun
Go through the feeds on here there are lots of post on here that can help and will give u support on going forward xx x big hugs
Here are some tips that where given to me in the early days,,,
Stop and breath - I know this is easier said than done but u need to just slow things down,,
Take it hour by hour and only deal with the facts not hear say,,
You can't pour from a empty cup,, you need to look after yourself take time for u and make sure ur eating small amount and sleeping when u can.
People you think will stand by you they will not,, but the people you think will leave they will not.
Keep coming on here and asking for support and advice,, use the helpline as much as u need if u ring and it says its busy just hold on you will get a a answer.
You will not lose your children also long as they are at no risk of harm ss have to prove they are to remove children from parent care.
Fear is a mind set and try not to look to far a head,, and try not to wasted engery on why,, but,, if. U need your engery for u and the children.
Don't make big decisions when stress or been pressured into making them,,
Its OK not to be OK and to say for help that could be from here the gp stop so.
The emotional rollcoster is hard but over time it does slow down,,
Its not ur fault and their is no right or wrong way to deal with this,, u have to do what is right for u and ur children none else.
Hope this helps in some way hun
Go through the feeds on here there are lots of post on here that can help and will give u support on going forward xx x big hugs
Amazing words and advice Vickie x