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Second offence

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Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Tue July 6, 2021 7:31amReport post

Well not sure where all my last messages went ..

Life is just on auto pilot its sureal everyone around me ie neighbours are getting on witn their lives oblivious as to whats goiing on with us!!

He had just undergone major brain surgery a week later 25th may hes arrested for iioc second time my world crashed round me again ..

Hes back to work im working life is in aito pilot till has his day in court

He isnt talking much we have tx conversations well weve had 2 !

Having a rubbish week and It's only tuesday ..

Sorry for moaning

Hope everyone is coping and doing ok

Susie x

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Tue July 6, 2021 3:17pmReport post

Sorry ur feeling like shit, I no how u feel I am feeling drained to this week and as u say we r only Tuesday, sorry I can't help but I do no how hard this is xx hope the rest of the week is better for u x

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Tue July 6, 2021 9:57pmReport post

Lost123 .. thankyou no he recieved no help the first time .. i didnt know aboit the abuse he suffered as a child tlll tjis second time .. ive spoken with gp given nhs help but there is a waiting list ive already waited 7 weeks ! ..

There is no more me and him i feel guilty fir feeling this way i just feel guilt full stop ..



Hes doing the modules through lff and is speaking with somone there going forward to the nexr stage ..

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Tue July 6, 2021 9:59pmReport post

Dawn14 hope your week goes better too xx

Starry

Member since
June 2021

85 posts

Posted Tue July 6, 2021 10:19pmReport post

Susie, I'm feeling exactly the same.
no more me and him like the team we once were. It's like it vanished overnight.

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Wed July 7, 2021 8:30amReport post

Lost 123 .. i know .. he is still here but we are living seperate .. my world ended on the 25 may .. i had cared and even saved his life in 2018 when he had brain anurism..

We have gone througj so much even the build up to major brain op .. he was recovering from this a week after it on the day of the knock

Ive told him i am here to help but thats it

I feel ive let him down some way in being his wife as this is the second time (we werent married first offence)

Ive also told him that he will have to leave at some point before the court case (could take year to18 month) as i dont want this addresd associated with him ..i need to live here ..

The last time we lived else where we had our windows smashed and sheds house broken into stuff stolen .. im not going through that again x hope you slept well.

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Wed July 7, 2021 8:31amReport post

Starry i know its like a bereavement but hes still here ;(

Tabs

Member since
November 2019

501 posts

Posted Wed July 7, 2021 10:07amReport post

OMG Lost123! There are so many similarities! Rejection by parents, death of close relations who had cut him off...but the big one here for me was talking on line to a 'friend'!!

My husband, unbeknown to me was talking to a "woman" in "Portugal". Shared interests and hobbies. Things that didn't interest me. "She" occasionally asked for gifts, including computer games and perfume?!!!! He used to post them to an address that changed. (That's all he's admitted to). The talk went on to sexual experiences, she was a dominatrix?!! Laughed at his lack of sexual experience, encouraged him to experiment with sex workers, which he did, then, encouraged him not to pay, but meet on line, which he did, then he ended up chatting to "13 year old" vigilante decoy....and the rest is history. He said, with hindsight, "she" used to forget what was said in precious chats, and he thought she used others photos. She sent pictures of his hobbies, eg space and universe initially!

It is my opinion that this on line Friend was in fact, a group of people who got their kicks through manipulation, I don't know, but think that they are part of the elaborate network of vigilantes, who, in the main, are not there to protect children, but to manipulate people for their entertainment!
My sadness is that the police do not investigate all angles of these cases. No one stops these deviants. All police do is focus on getting evidence to prosecute and punish. So, this will continue, any vulnerable men will continue to get caught! Horrible and sad!
x

Tabs

Member since
November 2019

501 posts

Posted Wed July 7, 2021 10:14amReport post

Susie65, it is soooo tough! I had been married for nearly 40 years...loved him dearly and we grew up together. I went through the guilt, the whats and whys! But at the end of the day we are only responsible for ourselves. He made his poor decisions, he is responsible for them.
I will always support him, but don't now trust him. I have to live a life that I want, so for once I am putting myself and my needs first! I am following my heart and will do what I need to do to ensure my future happiness and peace in the future.

it had taken me many many months to get to this feeling of peace within myself. It is a tough journey. I agree it's like a death, but without the rituals and closure, and the outpouring of kindness and love for the departed. So hard!

take care Xxxx