HELP please
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Hello, I am not sure I'm in the right place and can't believe what is happening, my daughters house was visited yesterday and all her partners devices seized.no arrest but she ,and I are absolutely shocked and devestated at the thought of what comes next.she is only in her early twenties.her partner is denying anything saying they won't find anything but it could be months of waiting.
I am distraught knowing how to best offer support.
I am distraught knowing how to best offer support.
Lioness
You certainly have come to the right place , I'm really sorry you are here. Your poor daughter, unfortunately the police don't rush themselves and it could take months. Some people on here have actually had all devices come back clean and many obviously come back not. With how you support your daughter through this time, a mother knows, be there for her, her whole life could possibly change. I wish you and your family well x
You certainly have come to the right place , I'm really sorry you are here. Your poor daughter, unfortunately the police don't rush themselves and it could take months. Some people on here have actually had all devices come back clean and many obviously come back not. With how you support your daughter through this time, a mother knows, be there for her, her whole life could possibly change. I wish you and your family well x
Hi Lionness, so sorry that you find yourself here. Just be a loving mum, support your daughter and let her know that you are there for her no matter what. Emotions will be all over the place and it is a very scary time. Come here for support, or the helpline. Encourage your daughter and Son in law to get help. No matter what the outcome, the journey is hard and they need all the support they can get, as do you. xx
Thank you both, god this is heart wrenching isn't it.
she is a total wreck, they never took her stuff, they took his, she has come home for now, she is vomiting scared of every noise and a total wreck.he is telling her all kinds of different tales, it started as he had no idea, now it's got as far as he has a porn addiction.
she doesn't know if she's coming or going.we are trying to keep things level, they aren't married, he's in their home she's here, there's no way she will blow his life apart but the police aren't getting back to her and she has absolutely no idea how to get any support herself or if she's implicated, he has told her police might come back for her stuff and she's terrified.
she volunteers loads and has a good career, I just don't know what to do, we are giving him time and encouraged him to talk to his family, his parents are passed through drugs etc but he does have family and I have encouraged him to be honest and speak to them and seek help for anything he may have done.
pits like falling into a whole new world and it's bloody scary isn't it.
It's exhausting and I feel she can't get any control of it as she has no answers only what he's telling her.
I just want it to be over so she can re build and he can.
she is a total wreck, they never took her stuff, they took his, she has come home for now, she is vomiting scared of every noise and a total wreck.he is telling her all kinds of different tales, it started as he had no idea, now it's got as far as he has a porn addiction.
she doesn't know if she's coming or going.we are trying to keep things level, they aren't married, he's in their home she's here, there's no way she will blow his life apart but the police aren't getting back to her and she has absolutely no idea how to get any support herself or if she's implicated, he has told her police might come back for her stuff and she's terrified.
she volunteers loads and has a good career, I just don't know what to do, we are giving him time and encouraged him to talk to his family, his parents are passed through drugs etc but he does have family and I have encouraged him to be honest and speak to them and seek help for anything he may have done.
pits like falling into a whole new world and it's bloody scary isn't it.
It's exhausting and I feel she can't get any control of it as she has no answers only what he's telling her.
I just want it to be over so she can re build and he can.
Lioness
They will not come and take your daughters stuff, they only take the person under investigation.
I know its difficult but please ask your daughter to call the lf they will help her.. its all new its horrendous.
With regards her volunteering it makes no different its not through association.
Please remember this isn't a quick process ours is at 18 months x
They will not come and take your daughters stuff, they only take the person under investigation.
I know its difficult but please ask your daughter to call the lf they will help her.. its all new its horrendous.
With regards her volunteering it makes no different its not through association.
Please remember this isn't a quick process ours is at 18 months x
Lioness - the first few weeks are horrendous. I went into shock for about 4 weeks and was all over the place emotionally for ages. It is awful that there is no automatic support for families, but there are some ways of getting help. Has your daughter spoken to her GP? If she needs to get signed off work then this can give some space to process. If her career is related to children in any way the safeguarding lead will be able to find out from the police if there are any implications for her.
Speaking to the helpline here can help - when I called I just said I didn't know what to say and they were kind and coached me through a conversation which helped
Most importantly she has you. She was able to open up to you straight away. To trust you with this immense trauma. You obviously care so much for her and have found this forum to help. She is able to feel her emotions so fully because you provide her with a safe space to do this. It is going to be a long process and there are many emotions to go through (repeatedly) - sadness, denial, anger etc. It is a grieving process. And it is so unfair. And there is no way to change or fix the past. But together you will get through even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes xx. Look after yourself as well as her - you will need your strength xx
Speaking to the helpline here can help - when I called I just said I didn't know what to say and they were kind and coached me through a conversation which helped
Most importantly she has you. She was able to open up to you straight away. To trust you with this immense trauma. You obviously care so much for her and have found this forum to help. She is able to feel her emotions so fully because you provide her with a safe space to do this. It is going to be a long process and there are many emotions to go through (repeatedly) - sadness, denial, anger etc. It is a grieving process. And it is so unfair. And there is no way to change or fix the past. But together you will get through even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes xx. Look after yourself as well as her - you will need your strength xx
Thank you so much, especially cloud that made us have a cry together.
I feel so confused, I want to protect my gil, but I really liked her partner but I am annoyed he's messing with her emotiona
im annoyed she is haveing to say they are on a break and can't speak the truth, I am annoyed he's brought this to our door, they got together young, straight after she dealt with divorce for me cancer for me and deaths in the family, god it's so bloody unfair isn't it.
I want him to get whatever help and support he needs but I want to protect my girl, she is handling this so well I am proud of her but devestated she has to face this so so young and without a clue what's going on
what a mess, thank you for the replies they are reassuring and helpful xxx I'm sorry we are all here
I feel so confused, I want to protect my gil, but I really liked her partner but I am annoyed he's messing with her emotiona
im annoyed she is haveing to say they are on a break and can't speak the truth, I am annoyed he's brought this to our door, they got together young, straight after she dealt with divorce for me cancer for me and deaths in the family, god it's so bloody unfair isn't it.
I want him to get whatever help and support he needs but I want to protect my girl, she is handling this so well I am proud of her but devestated she has to face this so so young and without a clue what's going on
what a mess, thank you for the replies they are reassuring and helpful xxx I'm sorry we are all here