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How did u get over the ages of iioc

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Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 1:23pmReport post

So I have just got the evidence through on my sons case.

How an earth do you put the ages out of your mind and try and remember the person you brought into this world the one you thought you knew.

I don't know how I'm meant to react with any age but it's different when it's in black & white.

I have been struggling but even more so now.

Sorry I hope everyone is doing OK x

WeeWitch

Member since
June 2021

74 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 2:20pmReport post

Oh God Becky, I'm so sorry XXX

I have no idea, I hope others do

Am dreading knowing this info

Love to you xxx

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 4:16pmReport post

Becky, I don't know the answer but I totally understand the question. It's almost unbearable isn't it. Despite supporting my son fully on his way through this, I often think that I'd be happy if I never saw him again - I do feel as if I've lost him and I can't bear to look at photographs and Facebook memories.

Sending you love and strength xx

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 5:20pmReport post

Ladies

Thank you for replying .. I know exactly what you mean about looking at old photos .. gutting isn't it .

I have no awnsers I feel numb

Xx

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

153 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 6:25pmReport post

I think it's probably really important not to be able to 'get over' the ages. Whatever the reasons our lives have become entwined with this world, underneath it lies the really awful fact that children are abused, and other people document and share it. It shows compassion and humanity by not being able to get past that. And your ability to support your son through this shows that compassion and humanity too. Be kind to yourselves ladies - on here at least people understand that supporting a loved one is in no way an act of condoning the awful act of creating IIOC xx

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 9:34pmReport post

Cloud

Thank you, you are right .

I hope your doing OK xx

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 9:38pmReport post

Hi,

I didnt no any of that until we got to crown and then I cried, the whole process was horrendous. I dont wat to say really as anything I say may sound awful either way xx try and stay strong I no that is hard

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Sun July 11, 2021 9:49pmReport post

Dawn

Oh god I bet, I suppose I've got under 3 weeks before Crown to sort myself out so I don't make a fool out of myself... its just so gutting isn't it, I can't comprehend any of this. I hope your doing OK xx

Maij

Member since
December 2020

287 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 9:34amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Tue August 17, 2021 1:49am

Juniper1

Member since
June 2021

5 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 1:03pmReport post

Hi Becky,

I know exactly what you mean, I love my son unconditionally but I hate what he's done so much, I feel so conflicted but I'm his mum and I'll do what I can to help him get through this, counselling, soul searching, understanding, it's a long process but I try to remember that this is only one part of my son, not all of him and the loving, happy boy I knew is still there.

I don't know how we get over the ages, as the others have said, maybe it's best we don't. I take strength from the posts over the years here, but some days I'm terrified of our future and long for the days before all this happened.

Big hugsx

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 7:49pmReport post

Hi Becky1234,



To be fair I'm an emotional wreck but that's because of wat I am going through with ss, and the pressures they r putting on me. Even my oh po said I need to stop being emotional easy for her to say its not her life everyone is deciding on, im sock of people telling me how or wat I should be doing, this process is like having kids there is no manual to tell u how to handle it, so we do the best we can hoping its the right thing

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 9:22pmReport post

Maij

I didn't even know what I was reading it was from the solicitor not for one moment I didn't think they would of sent them kind of documents through the post could you imagine if someone else had got them like a neighbour etc. I thought it was to say about what happened at magistrates and then I get to the evidence fgs and then that's when I crumbled oh god.. today is another day and feeling a bit better I still have to remember he is my son and I know him as a person... thank you for your reply

I hope your doing OK xx

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 9:24pmReport post

Juniper 1

It's so hard isn't it, my body and mind was numb I was physically sick fgs. Today is a better day. Thank you for your reply I hope your doing OK xx

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 9:27pmReport post

Lost 123

It wasn't against the charges, solicitor sent evidence through the post can you believe that, it could of ended up at my neighbours etc.. I got 2 cards put through my letter box the other week belonging to someone across the road so know it does happen. Thank you for replying I hope your doing OK? Xx

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 9:30pmReport post

Dawn 14

Ohh I bloody hate ss with a passion but that's down to past experience with them around 20 years ago. I'm sorry to hear your having a hard time and emotional wreck bless you. I know exactly what you mean no handbooks are given in kids nor this, least we signed up to have kids this was just thrown at us in a big way... sending a virtual hug your way xx

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 9:56pmReport post

Hi Becky1234,

Thanks love it means alot, and I no u r right on just being thrown into this.

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 10:58pmReport post

Lost 123

I'm pleased to say I have appointed a new solicitor who will meet in person with my son and reply back to emails ASAP. The other solicitor basically did nothing I kept leaving voicemail etc and as I am paying I expect an appropriate service. So I will no longer get this kind of thing through the post its so unprofessional it's unbelievable.

I'm pleased you have a good relationship with your ex and his stepdad is a good man not many would . Aww a baptism how wonderful I am also a Catholic to be honest I have kind of lost my faith and wonder what I did in a past life to be dealt with this life he certainly likes testing me haha . I hope you have a truly amazing day and hoping weather is kind to you xx

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Mon July 12, 2021 11:41pmReport post

Lost 123

I feel like a weight has been lifted with new solicitor .. thank you. I am pleased that the church has been a comfort to you.

I think I will attend church the week before Crown I havnt been in 18 months. I am terrified of being judged and unwelcomed so thought I'd wait and see it if hit papers first ... my hubby is also a atheist lol and all 3 of our children are catholics xx