From Start to Finish.
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Hiya all.
So Hubby is now 6 weeks in from the knock.
6 devices taken away 4 have come back nothing on them. 2 others gone away for forensics.
He has signed up to the modules on here and awaiting a Stopso concelling to get in touch.
It is heartbreaking knowing that the other 2 devices have stuff on them. But I am sticking by him.
So the question I have for anybody who can help is,
1/ How long from the knock to getting updates back.
2/ From start to finish and try and rebuild your lives.
Thank you for your time. Xx
So Hubby is now 6 weeks in from the knock.
6 devices taken away 4 have come back nothing on them. 2 others gone away for forensics.
He has signed up to the modules on here and awaiting a Stopso concelling to get in touch.
It is heartbreaking knowing that the other 2 devices have stuff on them. But I am sticking by him.
So the question I have for anybody who can help is,
1/ How long from the knock to getting updates back.
2/ From start to finish and try and rebuild your lives.
Thank you for your time. Xx
We never got any updates, it was 2 years from him being arrested to his second arrest, and then a month or so after got the devices back that had nothing on them xx hope u have a speedy response
Knock was June 2017, sentencing at aug 2019. Very little if at all on the updates to be honest. This was for saving (aka making) files and distribution
Knock was Sept last year, in crown court today, PO has recommended community service but its up to judge on the day, my.partner has been told by his barrister to pack a bag because it shows he understands the gravity of the situation, it really shook me up, because in a worse case scenario he could go to jail, he had 1000 images, I am dreading it being in the media, I live in a different town but my elderly parents read the local press from where my partner is from my partner lives and looks after his elderly dad who knows and supports him, and has an 11 year old son, they are totally innocent but if it becomes common knowledge will be affected, I feel we are lucky that it has been so quick, though not sure I feel it this morning, to carry on with the not knowing would be so so hard, all my love, its difficult
Knock was Sept last year, in crown court today, PO has recommended community service but its up to judge on the day, my.partner has been told by his barrister to pack a bag because it shows he understands the gravity of the situation, it really shook me up, because in a worse case scenario he could go to jail, he had 1000 images, I am dreading it being in the media, I live in a different town but my elderly parents read the local press from where my partner is from my partner lives and looks after his elderly dad who knows and supports him, and has an 11 year old son, they are totally innocent but if it becomes common knowledge will be affected, I feel we are lucky that it has been so quick, though not sure I feel it this morning, to carry on with the not knowing would be so so hard, all my love, its difficult
Knock 2019
C/c end of July
No updates as such
EMMIELOU
Will be thinking of you today please let us know how you get on, dreading ours end of July. Sending a virtual hug your way xx
C/c end of July
No updates as such
EMMIELOU
Will be thinking of you today please let us know how you get on, dreading ours end of July. Sending a virtual hug your way xx
Becky 1234, thank you so so much, it somehow feels unreal to be at this point, we are trying to deal with one thing at a time and move on to next but its so hard, my partner has had to give up work because he works in finance and would have to disclose it, its the media that scares me because I feel would could work through everything else, in some strange way it has made us closer but we are teetering on an edge and it could all still fall apart, court is at ten past 11, ill let you know how it goes
Emmie lou
Your welcome, have you & your partner come off of social media ? Myself & son have .. remember today's news is tomorrow's rags.. although I am also petrified of it hitting papers.
I see one last week in our local paper for 4,500 iioc and there was 89 comments under it, you can imagine the comments but it will be forgotten.
Wishing you the best possible outcome xx
Your welcome, have you & your partner come off of social media ? Myself & son have .. remember today's news is tomorrow's rags.. although I am also petrified of it hitting papers.
I see one last week in our local paper for 4,500 iioc and there was 89 comments under it, you can imagine the comments but it will be forgotten.
Wishing you the best possible outcome xx
I'm on social media but I don't post on it, and have never put on it anything personal, I will get rid of it now I ment too, my partner has never been on anything but LinkedIn which he has left, thankyou for your support, I've only told my sister and she is very supportive I know she would be non judgemental and I trust her, apart from this group I haven't talked to anyone even my closest friends, I'm hoping I never have too, while I am in another town we have close links to where my partner lives I will let you know how it goes, thanks again
Emmie lou
It's just so you don't see it if it does go onto social media bless you, that's the last thing you need to read.
You are the same as me only my sister & my best friend know, I really hope the same. Xx
It's just so you don't see it if it does go onto social media bless you, that's the last thing you need to read.
You are the same as me only my sister & my best friend know, I really hope the same. Xx
Emmie lou my heart goes out to you and yours.today ..
This my second time around 2nd knock 25 may .. a long road ahead although i cant stand be with him after all this we are in same house aa hes bailled here life is hard .. his work knows amd he's still working for now .. i have my own cleaning business and all my client's know ..
I feel so much guilt as none of my neighbours know its life as usual fir them . I hate it !
Take care will be thinking of you all xc
Susie
This my second time around 2nd knock 25 may .. a long road ahead although i cant stand be with him after all this we are in same house aa hes bailled here life is hard .. his work knows amd he's still working for now .. i have my own cleaning business and all my client's know ..
I feel so much guilt as none of my neighbours know its life as usual fir them . I hate it !
Take care will be thinking of you all xc
Susie
Emmie lou my heart goes out to you and yours.today ..
This my second time around 2nd knock 25 may .. a long road ahead although i cant stand be with him after all this we are in same house aa hes bailled here life is hard .. his work knows amd he's still working for now .. i have my own cleaning business and all my client's know ..
I feel so much guilt as none of my neighbours know its life as usual fir them . I hate it !
Take care will be thinking of you all xc
Susie
This my second time around 2nd knock 25 may .. a long road ahead although i cant stand be with him after all this we are in same house aa hes bailled here life is hard .. his work knows amd he's still working for now .. i have my own cleaning business and all my client's know ..
I feel so much guilt as none of my neighbours know its life as usual fir them . I hate it !
Take care will be thinking of you all xc
Susie
Morning all,
Can I ask how you function with kids if your partner gets an SHPO.
My partner is still living with us but it is purely for the sake of the children. He is helping out with them and it's a huge help. However I am really worried about what will happen if/when he gets charged and gets and SHPO. I am assuming it will be supervised access only. I have no family and haven't told a single person about what is happening. I feel like I am being punished for something I didn't do. I fear I will be doing all school runs and sports matches for both kids on my own and never able to meet friends for a coffee or dinner again as I literally don't hAve anyone to look after the children for me.
Sorry for the rant I just really feel like I am being punished for something that I didn't do. I haven't messed up my life, he did!!
Can I ask how you function with kids if your partner gets an SHPO.
My partner is still living with us but it is purely for the sake of the children. He is helping out with them and it's a huge help. However I am really worried about what will happen if/when he gets charged and gets and SHPO. I am assuming it will be supervised access only. I have no family and haven't told a single person about what is happening. I feel like I am being punished for something I didn't do. I fear I will be doing all school runs and sports matches for both kids on my own and never able to meet friends for a coffee or dinner again as I literally don't hAve anyone to look after the children for me.
Sorry for the rant I just really feel like I am being punished for something that I didn't do. I haven't messed up my life, he did!!
Good luck Emma Lou for today.
Big ((hugs)) xx
Big ((hugs)) xx
Starry
With regards the Shpo it depends on what they decide.
Some people have been given an shpo and still allowed unsupervised with there kids. It all depends on ss input. What stage are you at the moment ?
It's all a mess hey xx
With regards the Shpo it depends on what they decide.
Some people have been given an shpo and still allowed unsupervised with there kids. It all depends on ss input. What stage are you at the moment ?
It's all a mess hey xx
Thank you. Yes a big fat mess.
4 months from the knock. My husband attempted suicide twice so was in hospital for 4 weeks after this and is now at home with us.
SS were involved at the beginning and were happy for him to come home when he was discharged from hospital, they had done a few visit with me and the kids and him separately and were happy for him to be unsupervised. I feel like this will all change
4 months from the knock. My husband attempted suicide twice so was in hospital for 4 weeks after this and is now at home with us.
SS were involved at the beginning and were happy for him to come home when he was discharged from hospital, they had done a few visit with me and the kids and him separately and were happy for him to be unsupervised. I feel like this will all change
Starry
If ss are happy for unsupervised now then I don't believe it will change if I'm honest.
Shpo is normally so they have control over his Internet use etc stuff to do with that.
May I ask what he's done ? For example iioc, meet/ communication
My son is iioc and is not aloud unsupervised and that was from the start.
How old are your children ? X
If ss are happy for unsupervised now then I don't believe it will change if I'm honest.
Shpo is normally so they have control over his Internet use etc stuff to do with that.
May I ask what he's done ? For example iioc, meet/ communication
My son is iioc and is not aloud unsupervised and that was from the start.
How old are your children ? X
Thank you both for the advice.
He is doing a few different course to amend his behaviour. I wasn't told by social services that I needed to do anything or draw up any plans at all but I totally get what your say once a conviction is made there is proof and they will dig their heels. Seems so unfair that I have to prove that I am a good parent.
my kids are 4 and 9.
He had a porn addiction I knew nothing about having been with him for nearly 20 years. Says this has been going for 4. That led him into a dark hole and Apparantly has iioc of underaged on his phone
x
He is doing a few different course to amend his behaviour. I wasn't told by social services that I needed to do anything or draw up any plans at all but I totally get what your say once a conviction is made there is proof and they will dig their heels. Seems so unfair that I have to prove that I am a good parent.
my kids are 4 and 9.
He had a porn addiction I knew nothing about having been with him for nearly 20 years. Says this has been going for 4. That led him into a dark hole and Apparantly has iioc of underaged on his phone
x
Hi Starry,
I was worried about exactly the same. My husband has a SHPO but it's all based around internet activity restrictions (eg registering all devices). He is allowed to live at home and doesn't have any restrictions around his contact with our children (it's the same as it was before) He can do the school run etc too....
My children can have play dates too but these happen when he is at work.
take care xxx
I was worried about exactly the same. My husband has a SHPO but it's all based around internet activity restrictions (eg registering all devices). He is allowed to live at home and doesn't have any restrictions around his contact with our children (it's the same as it was before) He can do the school run etc too....
My children can have play dates too but these happen when he is at work.
take care xxx
I will also add that after his conviction SS wanted to leave things exactly the same as those conditions set by his bail conditions for the duration of his 2 year suspended sentence (eg no unsupervised contact at all). We pushed for another assessment as he was assessesed as being the lowest risk he could be for a contact offence. Our second SW was then fantastic and really supported us in allowed him to move back home. He was home 3 months after his conviction. Our first SW was absolutely dreadful and she was the one who refused to reassess us. If she had had her way by husband still wouldn't be allowed to live at home or have unsupervised contact (she never even spoke to him when she was in contact with us initially)
SS are no longer involved with us at all. We do have a safety plan that we need to adhere too (this is mostly related to his mental health and asking him to leave the family home if his mental health deteriorates)
SS are no longer involved with us at all. We do have a safety plan that we need to adhere too (this is mostly related to his mental health and asking him to leave the family home if his mental health deteriorates)
Thank you Belle bee.
can I ask are you functioning now as a family then? I just cannot see how I will ever function again, see my friends, send my children to birthday parties, go away etc......
im please you got hubby home
x
can I ask are you functioning now as a family then? I just cannot see how I will ever function again, see my friends, send my children to birthday parties, go away etc......
im please you got hubby home
x
Thank you Belle bee.
can I ask are you functioning now as a family then? I just cannot see how I will ever function again, see my friends, send my children to birthday parties, go away etc......
im please you got hubby home
x
can I ask are you functioning now as a family then? I just cannot see how I will ever function again, see my friends, send my children to birthday parties, go away etc......
im please you got hubby home
x
Becky 1234 you said to let you know, he got 8 months suspended for 2 years, no community service, up too 20 hours courses if decision is taken he needs this, the SHPO, dealt with Internet, it was said in court that my partner didn't have a serial attraction to children but it was the risk involved, which leaned towards an addiction, prosecution, PO report all said he was considered very low risk there was a reporter in court and a photographer hidden outside, no sign of it yet online, barrister said it depends on news stories that day but seems to me it will, also got 10 years on register.which barrister said is normal now, his barrister also said that they are getting tougher with cases now and he prob had had a 60/40 chance of prison and he had had a good result if that's the right term
Hi Starry,
yes life is very similar to what it was before... we don't have any professionals involved although my husband sees his PO every 2 weeks. It's not been without its challenges though and I never thought in a million years we'd ever get to to this point but it is possible. My husband had viewed a small number of images (less than 10) and mostly cat C so I think this has also been a factor too in life returning to some degree of normality. It's not been easy though and I still feel pretty traumatised by the events of last year. Xx
yes life is very similar to what it was before... we don't have any professionals involved although my husband sees his PO every 2 weeks. It's not been without its challenges though and I never thought in a million years we'd ever get to to this point but it is possible. My husband had viewed a small number of images (less than 10) and mostly cat C so I think this has also been a factor too in life returning to some degree of normality. It's not been easy though and I still feel pretty traumatised by the events of last year. Xx
Hiya Bellebee.
Sorry to ask you this. How's he getting on with work.
My hubby is back at work on Monday but he knows down the line he will lose it.
Thank you xx
Sorry to ask you this. How's he getting on with work.
My hubby is back at work on Monday but he knows down the line he will lose it.
Thank you xx
Emmielou
Thank you for letting me know, 10 years on the register seems abit steep, I'm pleased to here he got a suspended sentence and not custodial. Is your partner allowed unsupervised with his son ?
Oh god I'm sorry to hear there was a reporter, it normally hits 2 - 7 days after depending on if they think they can get the audience on it. How long is the shpo for did they say...
Sending you a hug you must be feeling numb xx
Thank you for letting me know, 10 years on the register seems abit steep, I'm pleased to here he got a suspended sentence and not custodial. Is your partner allowed unsupervised with his son ?
Oh god I'm sorry to hear there was a reporter, it normally hits 2 - 7 days after depending on if they think they can get the audience on it. How long is the shpo for did they say...
Sending you a hug you must be feeling numb xx
Hi Chelsea, unfortunately he lost his job but has since found employement with an agency who knows about his conviction. They've been brilliant and he has had constant work. It's unfortunately minimum wage work but it's not stressful at all so suits him at the moment.
Thank you Belle Bee for letting us know how you have coped. I am just trying to work out how me and the kids can be the least affected without being unrealistic.
Do friends and family know? How have they tested him and you?
Do friends and family know? How have they tested him and you?
Hiya Bellebee.
Thank you for responce.
Do you know what agency he is using. Will get Hubby on to it.
Glad to find out that you can now move on with your lives.
Xx
Thank you for responce.
Do you know what agency he is using. Will get Hubby on to it.
Glad to find out that you can now move on with your lives.
Xx
Hi Becky 1234, my partner isn't sure how long the SHPO is for, as far as he remembers it only covers Internet use, no other restrictions, I was relieved when the PO report said that in his opinion he wasn't sexually attracted to children but it was the risk involved and he had spiraled into it because it tied in with what he had told me, I was surprised at 10 years on register though his barrister said its not unusual lately, he will hear from his PO in the next few days, he has had to give up work because he worked in finance and would have had to disclose it, luckily he will be ok financially for a while but he still needs to work for his mental health asch as anything, its one step at a time, a big virtual hug to you, its nice to get it out of my head and written down
Becky 1234, forgot to say up until now visits with his son supervised don't know if this will change now, his exwife has been really understanding
Hi Chelsea, they are called the best connection. Branches all over the UK :-)
Hi Becky1234, is your crown court few weeks away, has your partner heard from PO yet, I am sending you all my love,
Emmie lou
I am pleased your partner is able to see his son with a very supportive ex, what a relief for your partner.
Aww hopefully one day it will be unsupervised, the po will be able to help more with that.
It's my son , he has Crown in 17 days, it's been a very long journey , have the same worry as you had with papers but you know what at first thats all I could think about now I just hope he doesn't do prison time .
I'm pleased to hear he is financially stable what a relief, my son on the other hand will be relying on us lol.
Hopefully he will find a job soon, they need to keep active .
Thank you I will update you .. sending love your way xx
I am pleased your partner is able to see his son with a very supportive ex, what a relief for your partner.
Aww hopefully one day it will be unsupervised, the po will be able to help more with that.
It's my son , he has Crown in 17 days, it's been a very long journey , have the same worry as you had with papers but you know what at first thats all I could think about now I just hope he doesn't do prison time .
I'm pleased to hear he is financially stable what a relief, my son on the other hand will be relying on us lol.
Hopefully he will find a job soon, they need to keep active .
Thank you I will update you .. sending love your way xx
Hi Chelsea1,
We got the knock in July 2020. My partner was questioned in our flat by the police and he admitted and showed remorse; which the police said put him in good standing.
They took his devices (PC and phone). PC was back within a couple of months with nothing found on it. To this day they still have his phone and we've had no update on it at all.
My partner has done the course with LFF and is seeking counselling for porn addiction which is how we got to this point in the first place. He spiralled down rabbit holes.
I have no idea if or when we'll have any update from the police. For the first couple of months it was tough, but we worked it out and now 95% of the time it's like nothing happened. There's just the occasional day like today where I'll get caught out thinking about what's going to happen - usually when I see something in the news about a similar case.
It seems like it can take a long, long time so I'm not holding my breath for an update any time soon. The waiting game is the worst.
We got the knock in July 2020. My partner was questioned in our flat by the police and he admitted and showed remorse; which the police said put him in good standing.
They took his devices (PC and phone). PC was back within a couple of months with nothing found on it. To this day they still have his phone and we've had no update on it at all.
My partner has done the course with LFF and is seeking counselling for porn addiction which is how we got to this point in the first place. He spiralled down rabbit holes.
I have no idea if or when we'll have any update from the police. For the first couple of months it was tough, but we worked it out and now 95% of the time it's like nothing happened. There's just the occasional day like today where I'll get caught out thinking about what's going to happen - usually when I see something in the news about a similar case.
It seems like it can take a long, long time so I'm not holding my breath for an update any time soon. The waiting game is the worst.
Hiya LC.
Yes the waiting game is deffo the worst and not one bit good for Mental health etc.
It's driving me up the wall at the moment and only 2 months in. God knows what you are going through since last July.
Like you some days are good and others are not. Hubby is back at work thank God otherwise might have throttled him by now.
Sticking with him through this. He is my best mate and Hubby.
Big ((hugs)) xx
Yes the waiting game is deffo the worst and not one bit good for Mental health etc.
It's driving me up the wall at the moment and only 2 months in. God knows what you are going through since last July.
Like you some days are good and others are not. Hubby is back at work thank God otherwise might have throttled him by now.
Sticking with him through this. He is my best mate and Hubby.
Big ((hugs)) xx