Dad caught in online sting
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Hi everyone. I’m in my 30’s - last year my dad was caught by an online pedophile Hunter. He thought he was meeting a 15 year old boy that he’d been messaging but was actually met by the local police and arrested, charged and pled guilty to grooming. He’s just been sentenced to 8 months. Its all over social media on the local pages with hundreds of comments and shares. My older sister lives with our dad and is really minimising what’s happened, saying he was just a lonely old man who got caught up in the moment receiving attention and no harm was done. But I’m really struggling with this. I’m agreeing with her when we speak about it (she only recently told me, I live hundreds of miles away due to work) but am actually so so disgusted by him. While it’s true no harm was done, the intention was there and although he insists this is the first and only time, I don’t know if I believe him.
I don’t really know what I’m asking for here but I just feel very alone at the moment.
I work with vulnerable adults, how likely is it that people I work with will find out? I’ve told one friend but can’t bring myself to tell anyone else and I just feel like this is going to hang over me forever.
I don’t really know what I’m asking for here but I just feel very alone at the moment.
I work with vulnerable adults, how likely is it that people I work with will find out? I’ve told one friend but can’t bring myself to tell anyone else and I just feel like this is going to hang over me forever.
Its so hard to get your head around it, it must be difficult to process why he would have done that. If you live a long way from family people may not ever find out, its so hard with social media. Hopefully it will all quieten down soon. Your sister may be right, maybe he was just a lonely man. It seems these situations are often more complex then people realise, people get caught up in these crimes for all kinds of reasons. Im sure everyone is discusted with his actions, your sister may just find it easier to process by playing things down, people deal with stress, grief etc in many ways. Im not sure what i think of paedophile hunters, the conversation isnt totally one sided so i wonder if sometimes they incite the crime. It doesnt excuse the person commiting the crime they should know better. He did a terrible thing but it doesnt necessarily make him a terrible person. I hope you have someone to talk to, to process your feelings. Its tough to go through this, know that you are not alone everyone here on the forum has had their lives turned upside down and hopefully you can find support here.
I found out that my son was arrested just over two week ago. I still don't know what the exact offence was but just that it relates to IIOC or similar.
The whole thing has such a stigma to it in our society and when I found out I honestly thought my world had ended. I was completely heartbroken, I couldn't stop crying for a week. My stomach was in a knot. I was looking at TV adverts of 'perfect' families wondering where mine had gone so badly 'wrong'.
Another week on, well nearly two weeks on, I feel so much better. The tears have stopped and the knot has gone. Slowly the world is going back to what it was before for me. It's never far from my mind as we're still waiting to see if he's being charged, I've been doing lots of reading which has helped me and this forum has been invaluable for me.
For you it's early days but you will start to feel better. Your brain just needs to process things and unpick what has happened. In the meantime take good care of yourself.
Sending love xx
The whole thing has such a stigma to it in our society and when I found out I honestly thought my world had ended. I was completely heartbroken, I couldn't stop crying for a week. My stomach was in a knot. I was looking at TV adverts of 'perfect' families wondering where mine had gone so badly 'wrong'.
Another week on, well nearly two weeks on, I feel so much better. The tears have stopped and the knot has gone. Slowly the world is going back to what it was before for me. It's never far from my mind as we're still waiting to see if he's being charged, I've been doing lots of reading which has helped me and this forum has been invaluable for me.
For you it's early days but you will start to feel better. Your brain just needs to process things and unpick what has happened. In the meantime take good care of yourself.
Sending love xx