Social services involvement with family members
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Edit:I have left the text from when I originally posted below but want to emphasize the error of my partner and I. I dont know why but both of us multiple times didn't seem to read/comprehend the condition on the SHPO regarding contact with children.
It essentially says he is to have no contact with any children under the age of 16 unless there is permission from parents AND social services. I guess in my head I was mentally pushing back on the social services bit, it also doesn't help that in the past the PO was happy for just disclosure for my partner's friend who has a child.
Lesson learned: read the conditions and go through each one in detail with the PO and/or police asap and periodically. You cannot rely on the PO and police to fully monitor and follow these conditions - they will not apologize when they have messed up, they will just argue that it is in black and white in the SHPO.
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I typed up a whole post but lost it. I will try to sum it up.
In the telling others topic I posted about recently having the PO and Police liaison saying that my partner needed to disclose to my aunt and uncle because of my 14 year old cousin.
Discusses face to face with the PO on how to go about it and making sure we met his expectations.
Turns out that as well as disclosure to my aunt and uncle, social services will need be involved! The SHPO condition has caused me much confusion and we both read it that SS would only need to be involved if the disclosure is to a legal guardian rather a parent.
Has anyone else gone through the same thing? What do social services do in this situation? Will they interview my cousin? My partner has met him a handful of times and my cousin is a typical teen, doesn't interact with us.
This has caused such a strain on us both. We are so close to him finishing his suspended sentence, thought we knew how to navigate life with him on the SOR and SHPO. If I had known this would impact my family beyond my immediate family I don't know of I would have stayed by his side.
It essentially says he is to have no contact with any children under the age of 16 unless there is permission from parents AND social services. I guess in my head I was mentally pushing back on the social services bit, it also doesn't help that in the past the PO was happy for just disclosure for my partner's friend who has a child.
Lesson learned: read the conditions and go through each one in detail with the PO and/or police asap and periodically. You cannot rely on the PO and police to fully monitor and follow these conditions - they will not apologize when they have messed up, they will just argue that it is in black and white in the SHPO.
....................
I typed up a whole post but lost it. I will try to sum it up.
In the telling others topic I posted about recently having the PO and Police liaison saying that my partner needed to disclose to my aunt and uncle because of my 14 year old cousin.
Discusses face to face with the PO on how to go about it and making sure we met his expectations.
Turns out that as well as disclosure to my aunt and uncle, social services will need be involved! The SHPO condition has caused me much confusion and we both read it that SS would only need to be involved if the disclosure is to a legal guardian rather a parent.
Has anyone else gone through the same thing? What do social services do in this situation? Will they interview my cousin? My partner has met him a handful of times and my cousin is a typical teen, doesn't interact with us.
This has caused such a strain on us both. We are so close to him finishing his suspended sentence, thought we knew how to navigate life with him on the SOR and SHPO. If I had known this would impact my family beyond my immediate family I don't know of I would have stayed by his side.
Update: turns out that social services rang my uncle before I got the chance to apologize for the intrusion.
SS wanted to chat to my aunt and uncle with my cousin present, which my uncle declined. I am reeling as to why the authorities only now are so concerned. My partner doesn't have a contact offence. I know that essentially all offenders are treated the same as a contact risk, especially by SS. But I feel they are going so OTT, especially since my partner has done well during his probation to the point they are not extending it.
It is like all the people we speak to in authority do not believe or understand my family dynamic. I only see me family (other than immediate) during big family occasions (2-3 times a year) and we don't do the whole turning up announced thing at each others houses.
My uncle agrees to my partner coming to family events with lots of people present and I said I have been supervising my partner the whole time- no one notices and makes no difference to how we are with my family.
I'm now considering going to social services directly myself and ask whether it would be of benefit for me to be assessed as an approved supervisor to my partner. Is that an option?
Should we reach to SS and get clarification on what they are concerned about and their procedures?
SS wanted to chat to my aunt and uncle with my cousin present, which my uncle declined. I am reeling as to why the authorities only now are so concerned. My partner doesn't have a contact offence. I know that essentially all offenders are treated the same as a contact risk, especially by SS. But I feel they are going so OTT, especially since my partner has done well during his probation to the point they are not extending it.
It is like all the people we speak to in authority do not believe or understand my family dynamic. I only see me family (other than immediate) during big family occasions (2-3 times a year) and we don't do the whole turning up announced thing at each others houses.
My uncle agrees to my partner coming to family events with lots of people present and I said I have been supervising my partner the whole time- no one notices and makes no difference to how we are with my family.
I'm now considering going to social services directly myself and ask whether it would be of benefit for me to be assessed as an approved supervisor to my partner. Is that an option?
Should we reach to SS and get clarification on what they are concerned about and their procedures?
Hi lost.
Thanks for the tips on resources. It might come in handy so I shall keep in mind.
In the end my partner chased SS for a conclusion on how to interact with my cousin, since we disclosed to my aunt and uncle. Turns out they are ok with contact as long as it is supervised and family events (which it was anyway). SS were just being slow, which is a pain since we missed a family event because we didn't have clarity.
Just waiting for confirmation in writing to make sure my partner won't be in trouble.
Currently waiting for a catch up with the police officer to check the disclosure need for my cousins and Thier children.
Overall there is good progress with my partner and working to see his own kids. Just need a judge to sign off on who can assess my partner and get a court judgement for visitation
Thanks for the tips on resources. It might come in handy so I shall keep in mind.
In the end my partner chased SS for a conclusion on how to interact with my cousin, since we disclosed to my aunt and uncle. Turns out they are ok with contact as long as it is supervised and family events (which it was anyway). SS were just being slow, which is a pain since we missed a family event because we didn't have clarity.
Just waiting for confirmation in writing to make sure my partner won't be in trouble.
Currently waiting for a catch up with the police officer to check the disclosure need for my cousins and Thier children.
Overall there is good progress with my partner and working to see his own kids. Just need a judge to sign off on who can assess my partner and get a court judgement for visitation