I know more than my Mum do I tell her?
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My dad was arrested a few months ago and it has tore the family apart. I've seen my Mum in a state that I should never have needed to. She made him leave but is having him back. I know that she doesn't know the extent of what he has done. I understand that for her, having him back is an attempt at regaining a sense of normality and I do understand why. I can't bring myself to be happy about it because I know that she doesn't know the full story. None of us will until the police finish their investigations but I know a lot more than she does. My fear is that when the whole truth comes out it will break her again and I can't bear to think about that. I am very angry and it's overwhelming. Do I tell her? Or just wait? What would you have wanted/want in this situation? Any advice most welcome!
Hello Sandy
Sorry to hear what your family is going through
I would tell your mummy now because she is going to know the truth either way, im here because of my dad aswell never thought this would come to our door but it did, I hope you are looking after yourself in my thoughts xxx
Sorry to hear what your family is going through
I would tell your mummy now because she is going to know the truth either way, im here because of my dad aswell never thought this would come to our door but it did, I hope you are looking after yourself in my thoughts xxx
If the info is something your dad had disclosed to you but asked you don't tell your mum I would consider telling him to disclose what he said to your mum, with you present, try not to do it for him (unless he out right refuses). Offenders need to learn how to be open and disclose, and not rely on others to do it for them, in my opinion.
But if it is info that you know that your dad hasn't disclosed then still tell your mum. And afterwards let your dad know what you have said? He needs to know of all the consequences of his actions. From experience and from my partner told me he was in such a denial and hated at first to discuss it all but in time it overall helped him reflect on his actions and harm to everyone involved.
Big hugs
But if it is info that you know that your dad hasn't disclosed then still tell your mum. And afterwards let your dad know what you have said? He needs to know of all the consequences of his actions. From experience and from my partner told me he was in such a denial and hated at first to discuss it all but in time it overall helped him reflect on his actions and harm to everyone involved.
Big hugs
Thanks so much for the advice. The reason I know more is that I pushed him for details and my Mum hasn't. At least if she has he hasn't told her. I think it's self preservation on her part. I know this because when I thought she may take him back she said "he won't go to prison" from what I know it's a possibility that he will. I contacted him and told him that we will all know everything anyway once the police have finished the examination of the devices so I think he should come clean about the whole picture.