New don’t know what to do
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I'm new to all this.
the police came to our door on Thursday to search the property and that's when I learned that my husband was under investigation for talking and sending illicit messages to a 13 year old.
from that moment our world has fallen apart and I really don't know what to do or how to process it all.
he has 3 adult children who live in another part of the country and I have 2 adult children one lives with us and one locally. We have 3 grandchildren. He had to tell his kids because of the grandchildren.
ive spent the last few days in shock. I am so conflicted. Part of me wants to kick him out but I haven't because he's got nowhere to go. He's suicidal and we're now working with our local crisis team.
i can't face the world, I feel ashamed and if I tell my wider family they will certainly expect me to kick him out.
how does everyone manage this?
the police came to our door on Thursday to search the property and that's when I learned that my husband was under investigation for talking and sending illicit messages to a 13 year old.
from that moment our world has fallen apart and I really don't know what to do or how to process it all.
he has 3 adult children who live in another part of the country and I have 2 adult children one lives with us and one locally. We have 3 grandchildren. He had to tell his kids because of the grandchildren.
ive spent the last few days in shock. I am so conflicted. Part of me wants to kick him out but I haven't because he's got nowhere to go. He's suicidal and we're now working with our local crisis team.
i can't face the world, I feel ashamed and if I tell my wider family they will certainly expect me to kick him out.
how does everyone manage this?
Hi Blackbird
After reading your post, I felt the need to reply to you. I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation, but you have come to the right place to get support.
I would take a look at the post
***Advice for new members on surviving those early days ***
which can be found in the 'Understanding Why' Section, written by another member which has very detailed support and advice for you.
I hope you receive more responses from other members soon.
Take care and be kind to yourself as those early days you will naturally be all over the place because of the trauma you have experienced.
After reading your post, I felt the need to reply to you. I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation, but you have come to the right place to get support.
I would take a look at the post
***Advice for new members on surviving those early days ***
which can be found in the 'Understanding Why' Section, written by another member which has very detailed support and advice for you.
I hope you receive more responses from other members soon.
Take care and be kind to yourself as those early days you will naturally be all over the place because of the trauma you have experienced.
Hi blackbird,
This journey I'd so hard for us all and I think its worse for us as our partners get help and support while we have to pick up the pieces, just come and wrote on here and some one will talk to u, to help u through it, all ur emotions are normal, I still threaten to walk away from mine and we have had sentencing and we are now just dealing with ss. It is hard but people are so helpful on here xx
This journey I'd so hard for us all and I think its worse for us as our partners get help and support while we have to pick up the pieces, just come and wrote on here and some one will talk to u, to help u through it, all ur emotions are normal, I still threaten to walk away from mine and we have had sentencing and we are now just dealing with ss. It is hard but people are so helpful on here xx
Hi Blackbird,
My ex was sentenced to 2 yrs in prison for the same offence. We have 2 children.
I have no advise as its so raw. I just want you to know you're not alone
My ex was sentenced to 2 yrs in prison for the same offence. We have 2 children.
I have no advise as its so raw. I just want you to know you're not alone
Thank you both for your response. I'll definitely look at that post on the early days.
the last few days have been a whirlwind. Instead of him being supportive of me, I've had to focus on him to stop him from doing something stupid, sorting out solicitor and supporting his children with him having to use my phone for calls etc as his ilhas been taken into evidence.
I managed to call my doctor today who has now signed me off work and prescribed sleeping tablets for the short term so I can try and get some mental energy back to actually process it all.
the situation just tears you apart. If I was on the outside I'd be screaming at myself to leave him, but now I'm in the situation I just can't do it (at least not yet).
I agree with the comment on little support for people in our position. He's got loads of support available with the solicitor and now specialist counselling etc, but little appears available to us who I do believe are victims in this whole mess. We didn't ask or want any of it, but we've got to all work out a way to get through it.
thanks again
the last few days have been a whirlwind. Instead of him being supportive of me, I've had to focus on him to stop him from doing something stupid, sorting out solicitor and supporting his children with him having to use my phone for calls etc as his ilhas been taken into evidence.
I managed to call my doctor today who has now signed me off work and prescribed sleeping tablets for the short term so I can try and get some mental energy back to actually process it all.
the situation just tears you apart. If I was on the outside I'd be screaming at myself to leave him, but now I'm in the situation I just can't do it (at least not yet).
I agree with the comment on little support for people in our position. He's got loads of support available with the solicitor and now specialist counselling etc, but little appears available to us who I do believe are victims in this whole mess. We didn't ask or want any of it, but we've got to all work out a way to get through it.
thanks again