Newly convicted Ex
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Hi All,
I'm the ex of someone newly sentenced to 2 years in prison. We have 2 children. I know very little about his case as I'm the Ex they gave me enough info to safeguard but that's all. He was caught after speaking with a police decoy. There was much more than that but I don't want to disclose too much
I have had no support from anyone. SS have rung once only, to check I was safeguarding the kids by denying any contact at all. They since have been totally uninterested with no advice whatsoever. I've asked for counselling-nothing. Support services-nothing
Ive found you and other support groups myself after months of googling. I've had a nervous breakdown dealing with the kids and their heartbreak alone.
His SHPO upon release states he is to have no communication of any kind, with any child under the age of 16 unless it is in agreement of the other parent AND SS assessment
Upon release our eldest will be 16. Is that child able to have contact without an assessment? The younger one will have to have an assessment by SS I suppose.
I just feel so alone and hurt and sad for my children. Their relationship with their Dad and the things they can and cannot do with him has been changed forever.
I'm the ex of someone newly sentenced to 2 years in prison. We have 2 children. I know very little about his case as I'm the Ex they gave me enough info to safeguard but that's all. He was caught after speaking with a police decoy. There was much more than that but I don't want to disclose too much
I have had no support from anyone. SS have rung once only, to check I was safeguarding the kids by denying any contact at all. They since have been totally uninterested with no advice whatsoever. I've asked for counselling-nothing. Support services-nothing
Ive found you and other support groups myself after months of googling. I've had a nervous breakdown dealing with the kids and their heartbreak alone.
His SHPO upon release states he is to have no communication of any kind, with any child under the age of 16 unless it is in agreement of the other parent AND SS assessment
Upon release our eldest will be 16. Is that child able to have contact without an assessment? The younger one will have to have an assessment by SS I suppose.
I just feel so alone and hurt and sad for my children. Their relationship with their Dad and the things they can and cannot do with him has been changed forever.
Jilly
I'm sorry to hear you have no support, it's one of the most difficult time in your life. If SHPO states no contact with any under 16 it will need to be declared . Ss will do an assessment on your younger child .. how do you feel about your ex seeing your kids ? .
I also saw you asking the prison for contact unfortunately it's for them to decide, I don't see a way of challenging this but I would seek further advice. How are you feeling ? How are your children this must be very traumatic for you all.
Sending a virtual hug x
I'm sorry to hear you have no support, it's one of the most difficult time in your life. If SHPO states no contact with any under 16 it will need to be declared . Ss will do an assessment on your younger child .. how do you feel about your ex seeing your kids ? .
I also saw you asking the prison for contact unfortunately it's for them to decide, I don't see a way of challenging this but I would seek further advice. How are you feeling ? How are your children this must be very traumatic for you all.
Sending a virtual hug x
Hi Becky,
Thanks so much for replying.
I'm actually very torn over the kids seeing him again.
His offense wasn't downloading and viewing incident images it was having illicit conversations with a 13yr old (police decoy). Without disclosing too much. The conversations were extremely explicit.
My eldest is adamant about contact upon release and I feel to try to stand in the way of it will ruin our relationship. Upon release that child will be 16 so not in breech of the SHPO.
My younger child will also want contact but I am very hesitant about this.
I simply don't know what to do for the best
Thanks so much for replying.
I'm actually very torn over the kids seeing him again.
His offense wasn't downloading and viewing incident images it was having illicit conversations with a 13yr old (police decoy). Without disclosing too much. The conversations were extremely explicit.
My eldest is adamant about contact upon release and I feel to try to stand in the way of it will ruin our relationship. Upon release that child will be 16 so not in breech of the SHPO.
My younger child will also want contact but I am very hesitant about this.
I simply don't know what to do for the best
My partner has the same condition. His ex doesn't want him to have any access to his kids so he is going through family courts for supervised contact request. Our understanding is that if the courts allow this it trumps SS opinion on the matter. SS are not involved at the moment because there is no contact. But if a judge says it's ok I believe SS have to respect that.
So there is the possible option to go to family courts if SS are a pain for you. But I suspect SS can work with you and your partner might need to do an assessment of some sort to look into his risk to the children
So there is the possible option to go to family courts if SS are a pain for you. But I suspect SS can work with you and your partner might need to do an assessment of some sort to look into his risk to the children