Can't close my eyes
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First time posting. Got the knock four weeks tomorrow 7.15am.
Don't live with my partner but he'd stayed at mine the night before. He had been arrested as he left to go to work.
Cant believe how violated I felt answering questions and having my property searched. All the time worrying if he was ok. After lots of tears and upset I was given a piece of paper telling me why he'd been arrested... Devastated... not him, the police had said Internet crime... This said child abuse of an under 13year old. Penetration of an under 13year old. I am so confused.
He hasn't physically touched anyone. But talked inappropriately online.
Upon his release from questioning he said to me that he'd had a conversation with another man and got drawn into discussing 'fantasies'. He outlined a scenario. I'm not sure if he 'got off' on discussing this or did it because the other guy did. Either is wrong in my eyes. All I know is every time I close my eyes I visualise what he said he wrote.
I truly don't know what the future holds, I look at him differently now, he is a broken man, looks like he will lose his job. His adult children with children have been visited by ss and I'm not sure what they've been told...non of them have contacted me, all our lives have been torn apart because of a conversation he had.
The police are still investigating, and I'm so scared of repercussions and the unknown
Don't live with my partner but he'd stayed at mine the night before. He had been arrested as he left to go to work.
Cant believe how violated I felt answering questions and having my property searched. All the time worrying if he was ok. After lots of tears and upset I was given a piece of paper telling me why he'd been arrested... Devastated... not him, the police had said Internet crime... This said child abuse of an under 13year old. Penetration of an under 13year old. I am so confused.
He hasn't physically touched anyone. But talked inappropriately online.
Upon his release from questioning he said to me that he'd had a conversation with another man and got drawn into discussing 'fantasies'. He outlined a scenario. I'm not sure if he 'got off' on discussing this or did it because the other guy did. Either is wrong in my eyes. All I know is every time I close my eyes I visualise what he said he wrote.
I truly don't know what the future holds, I look at him differently now, he is a broken man, looks like he will lose his job. His adult children with children have been visited by ss and I'm not sure what they've been told...non of them have contacted me, all our lives have been torn apart because of a conversation he had.
The police are still investigating, and I'm so scared of repercussions and the unknown
Struggling
I am so sorry you find yourself here, a place none of us want to be.
You will go through all different emotions, unfortunately this is a trauma and will take time.
Be open, this is a very dark place, call the lf helpline, they will help you, reach out on here. This can take a very long time and it's such a long road.
Most importantly look after yourself.
We are all here on the same kind of journey.
Sending a virtual hug your way x
I am so sorry you find yourself here, a place none of us want to be.
You will go through all different emotions, unfortunately this is a trauma and will take time.
Be open, this is a very dark place, call the lf helpline, they will help you, reach out on here. This can take a very long time and it's such a long road.
Most importantly look after yourself.
We are all here on the same kind of journey.
Sending a virtual hug your way x
Thankyou Becky1234,
Means a lot knowing someone has read my post.
I am struggling, trying to put a brave face on. Need to focus on myself yet worried about his mental health and well being. He keeps asking if I'm ok. How can I be ok, how can anything ever be ok again.
We are trying to carry on as normal as we can, I try to keep busy. I look at him differently now and struggle when he tells me he loves me. The words used to be so natural, now tainted by guilt. I'm craving the closeness and affection, yet wanting to distance myself physically while I process my/our life.
Hug much appreciated.
Xx
Means a lot knowing someone has read my post.
I am struggling, trying to put a brave face on. Need to focus on myself yet worried about his mental health and well being. He keeps asking if I'm ok. How can I be ok, how can anything ever be ok again.
We are trying to carry on as normal as we can, I try to keep busy. I look at him differently now and struggle when he tells me he loves me. The words used to be so natural, now tainted by guilt. I'm craving the closeness and affection, yet wanting to distance myself physically while I process my/our life.
Hug much appreciated.
Xx
Very confused...no further forward since bail was extended, been told devices are being checked now. Not seen any similar cases on here but desperate for others opinions.
Have found out that his family members with young children have been advised by social services to have no contact with my partner yet the police said it was ok.
I'm feeling very isolated as I feel my partner has been abandoned by everyone. I'm struggling to know what's the right action to take. Trying to be strong for both of us but worried I don't know the whole story.
He knows the conversation he had with another adult was inappropriate, we can't change what's been done. Oh how I wish we could, the ripple effect of the damage its caused, how can we possibly move forward.
Need to talk to people who understand.
Have found out that his family members with young children have been advised by social services to have no contact with my partner yet the police said it was ok.
I'm feeling very isolated as I feel my partner has been abandoned by everyone. I'm struggling to know what's the right action to take. Trying to be strong for both of us but worried I don't know the whole story.
He knows the conversation he had with another adult was inappropriate, we can't change what's been done. Oh how I wish we could, the ripple effect of the damage its caused, how can we possibly move forward.
Need to talk to people who understand.
Lee1969. Thankyou for taking time to reply.
I'm in bits trying to carry on as naturally as possible, so empty inside, then something triggers all sorts of emotions.
He doesn't want to talk to me or anyone else, too embarrassed and disgusted with himself. His family have broken all contact.
I'm fearing the worst and building walls around myself. Yet still care about him and so worried about the damage it's having on his mental health.
Will try find others posts who are/have been in similar position.
I'm in bits trying to carry on as naturally as possible, so empty inside, then something triggers all sorts of emotions.
He doesn't want to talk to me or anyone else, too embarrassed and disgusted with himself. His family have broken all contact.
I'm fearing the worst and building walls around myself. Yet still care about him and so worried about the damage it's having on his mental health.
Will try find others posts who are/have been in similar position.