Mentally Handicapped brother
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Hi I wonder if there is someone out there who can help me?
My brother is mentally handicapped/special needs/ learning difficulties whatever you wish to call it. He was arrested this week for talking to an underaged girl on FB and sending inapproriate pictures. I was his responsible adult at the police interview. He was given bail and is currently staying with another relative because it's not safe for him to go back home. I don't know where to turn. Our parents are elderly (in their 80s) but they've been my brother's main carers all his life, with me and other members of the family doing more in recent years. My brother did do what he is accused of but he doesn't understand what's going on or the seriousness of the situation. The solicitor assigned to him seems really good but I've not come across anyone else in this situation and I don't know what to do now.
My brother is mentally handicapped/special needs/ learning difficulties whatever you wish to call it. He was arrested this week for talking to an underaged girl on FB and sending inapproriate pictures. I was his responsible adult at the police interview. He was given bail and is currently staying with another relative because it's not safe for him to go back home. I don't know where to turn. Our parents are elderly (in their 80s) but they've been my brother's main carers all his life, with me and other members of the family doing more in recent years. My brother did do what he is accused of but he doesn't understand what's going on or the seriousness of the situation. The solicitor assigned to him seems really good but I've not come across anyone else in this situation and I don't know what to do now.
After reading your post I felt the need to reply to you.
Does your brother receive any support apart from the family, like social services, mental health etc ?If so, it would be good to get them aboard with what has happened to your brother, so they can help you all through this process.
Have you made contact with his GP? again they may be able to signpost you to support of help.
It would also be very beneficial for you to ring the Stop it Now helpline as they will be able to support you too.
I hope this information is of some help, and I hope other members will respond to you with helpful advice.
Does your brother receive any support apart from the family, like social services, mental health etc ?If so, it would be good to get them aboard with what has happened to your brother, so they can help you all through this process.
Have you made contact with his GP? again they may be able to signpost you to support of help.
It would also be very beneficial for you to ring the Stop it Now helpline as they will be able to support you too.
I hope this information is of some help, and I hope other members will respond to you with helpful advice.
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As others have said the best thing to do is contact social work services . Perhaps your brother already has a social worker or care manager you can discuss this with. I don't know what part of the UK you live in but in Scotland we would have expected the Police , once aware of his difficulties, to have reported a concern to a multi agency concern hub and for his situation to be investigated as part of an Adult Support and Protection process. A protection or action plan might include various forms of support or a request for an assessment of his mental capacity, placing "parental controls on his internet access etc.
Your brother's solicitor could also request an assessment of capacity to determine whether your brother understood what he was doing. Even someone with a mild learning disability can be highly susceptible to suggestion and easily led, lacking the ability to understand the complexity in situation.
I really hope this goes well for your family.
Your brother's solicitor could also request an assessment of capacity to determine whether your brother understood what he was doing. Even someone with a mild learning disability can be highly susceptible to suggestion and easily led, lacking the ability to understand the complexity in situation.
I really hope this goes well for your family.
Really sorry this is happening to you, how old is he, what support or official dx does he have, can you go with him to his doctor.
Does he already have a social worker, adult day care etc.
so many questions but gather what you can for his solicitor x
take care of yourself too.
Does he already have a social worker, adult day care etc.
so many questions but gather what you can for his solicitor x
take care of yourself too.
Thank you all for your replies.
My brother did have a social worker many years ago but we havent seen anyone for a very long time. Fortunately he is on social services sytem and I was able to speak to someone. They told me the police had been in touch with information and they had received an incident report. He does have someone at mencap that would help my parents with certain things so I will contact them. Our solicitor has already said that he should be assessed, and I will contact his doctor. He does (or did) live on his own in a flat not too far from my parents. But my parents looked after him, doing his washing, cooking for him (he only has a microwave) and looking after all his bills and finances. Since this happened he has been staying with a relative as it's not safe for him to return home. The police and us have been in touch with our local authority to rehouse him so we have that worry too. I think (and I know I'm only guessing) that it will be suggested he goes in to sheltered accommodation. As part of his bail conditions we have to go to the police station at the end of August so we will know more then.
My brother is oblivious to all that is currently going on around him while everyone else is worried sick.
My brother did have a social worker many years ago but we havent seen anyone for a very long time. Fortunately he is on social services sytem and I was able to speak to someone. They told me the police had been in touch with information and they had received an incident report. He does have someone at mencap that would help my parents with certain things so I will contact them. Our solicitor has already said that he should be assessed, and I will contact his doctor. He does (or did) live on his own in a flat not too far from my parents. But my parents looked after him, doing his washing, cooking for him (he only has a microwave) and looking after all his bills and finances. Since this happened he has been staying with a relative as it's not safe for him to return home. The police and us have been in touch with our local authority to rehouse him so we have that worry too. I think (and I know I'm only guessing) that it will be suggested he goes in to sheltered accommodation. As part of his bail conditions we have to go to the police station at the end of August so we will know more then.
My brother is oblivious to all that is currently going on around him while everyone else is worried sick.
I had to reply after reading your last post, about all of you being worried sick apart from your brother.
The stop it now helpline will definitely be able to support you and will listen to all your concerns, they would have come across this situation before so may be able to offer more advice that may be useful to you and the family.
Thinking of you, your brother and the family.
Remember to look after yourself.
The stop it now helpline will definitely be able to support you and will listen to all your concerns, they would have come across this situation before so may be able to offer more advice that may be useful to you and the family.
Thinking of you, your brother and the family.
Remember to look after yourself.
Hi all
I posted the information about my brother in July. This is where we are at the moment: it turns out that my brother wasn't messaging a 14 year old girl but was part of a sting set up by some vigilante group and it was actually a made up person. It was this group that called the police and sent a mob round to my brothers flat the night he was arrested. He is no longer on bail and is still currently living with a relative, because no matter what the cps decide to do it is not safe for him to return to his home. We are now awaiting the cps decision. I must say that our police contact has been very good and the officer in charge of my brothers case rings quite often to see how we, and my brother, are doing. He has also been in contact with the council about rehoming my brother. The thing that gets to everyone is the waiting (and for us its only been since July, I don't know how you cope if you wait years for a decision).
The one good thing that has come out of this is that I've lost a stone on weight because of the stress ????
I posted the information about my brother in July. This is where we are at the moment: it turns out that my brother wasn't messaging a 14 year old girl but was part of a sting set up by some vigilante group and it was actually a made up person. It was this group that called the police and sent a mob round to my brothers flat the night he was arrested. He is no longer on bail and is still currently living with a relative, because no matter what the cps decide to do it is not safe for him to return to his home. We are now awaiting the cps decision. I must say that our police contact has been very good and the officer in charge of my brothers case rings quite often to see how we, and my brother, are doing. He has also been in contact with the council about rehoming my brother. The thing that gets to everyone is the waiting (and for us its only been since July, I don't know how you cope if you wait years for a decision).
The one good thing that has come out of this is that I've lost a stone on weight because of the stress ????
Thank you Lee1969. We've discussed this a lot as a family and it makes no sense for my brother to be charged. Again as a family, we will put things in place so he can't get into any more trouble (he no longer uses the internet and his moblie is now just a basic phone). The sad thing is he had lived in his flat for over 20 years and had a community around him and that is now gone (not to mention the fact that me and my sister had decorated it for him during lockdown).
Hi bigsister,
I'm so sorry for what has happened to your brother, they are absolute animals for how they treat people!!! I saw an article not too long ago from a lady who was an ex-vigilante and she exposed how they purposely target vulnerable people and foreign people because they are easier to entice into going along with what they want. I hope your brother gets the support he needs and the cps use their brains and see this for what it is.
Sending love xx
I'm so sorry for what has happened to your brother, they are absolute animals for how they treat people!!! I saw an article not too long ago from a lady who was an ex-vigilante and she exposed how they purposely target vulnerable people and foreign people because they are easier to entice into going along with what they want. I hope your brother gets the support he needs and the cps use their brains and see this for what it is.
Sending love xx