Will I get into trouble with SS?
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Hi all.
I'm pretty new to this game. My ex is serving a 27m sentence in prison atm.
Id like to write to him and I'd like to send him a thank you card as he got a family member to send money into our sons bank account for his birthday which was intended as "from Dad".
The kids are allowed no contact at all whilst he's in prison and his SHPO upon release is no contact of any kind with under 16s.
I'm worried if I write to him, send a card or have any sort of positive relationship with him SS will look at me badly or even open a case even tho the contact would be just from me.
Any advice is very welcome
Jilly
I'm pretty new to this game. My ex is serving a 27m sentence in prison atm.
Id like to write to him and I'd like to send him a thank you card as he got a family member to send money into our sons bank account for his birthday which was intended as "from Dad".
The kids are allowed no contact at all whilst he's in prison and his SHPO upon release is no contact of any kind with under 16s.
I'm worried if I write to him, send a card or have any sort of positive relationship with him SS will look at me badly or even open a case even tho the contact would be just from me.
Any advice is very welcome
Jilly
Hi there.
I would have thought writing to him would be fine as long as it isn't direct from the kids (can be seen as contact I think).
With the SHPO does the condition say no contact with under 16s at all? Or something like if parent and SS agree? Coz that is what my partner has. He has gone through family courts to get visitation rights.
SHPOs can be amended and after some time appeals are possible. Something to consider.
I would have thought writing to him would be fine as long as it isn't direct from the kids (can be seen as contact I think).
With the SHPO does the condition say no contact with under 16s at all? Or something like if parent and SS agree? Coz that is what my partner has. He has gone through family courts to get visitation rights.
SHPOs can be amended and after some time appeals are possible. Something to consider.
Hiya,
This is the SHPO wording
Having any contact or communication of any kind with any child under the age of 16, (or any person he believes to be a child under the age of 16) other than: a. such is inadvertent and not reasonably avoidable in the course of daily life or b. with the consent of the person’s parent or guardian (who must have knowledge of his conviction(s) and this Order) AND with the express approval of Social Care for the appropriate area or a representative of the Chief Constable for the appropriate area
My worries are that I've also been warned if I approach SS and say I want approval for contact on release they may open a case on me and assess my capacity to safeguard even though were divorced. That idea scares me to death
J
This is the SHPO wording
Having any contact or communication of any kind with any child under the age of 16, (or any person he believes to be a child under the age of 16) other than: a. such is inadvertent and not reasonably avoidable in the course of daily life or b. with the consent of the person’s parent or guardian (who must have knowledge of his conviction(s) and this Order) AND with the express approval of Social Care for the appropriate area or a representative of the Chief Constable for the appropriate area
My worries are that I've also been warned if I approach SS and say I want approval for contact on release they may open a case on me and assess my capacity to safeguard even though were divorced. That idea scares me to death
J
The wording is very similar to my partner's. I'm not sure what the rules are for those in prison but I don't see why requesting some sort of contact after prison cannot be looked into. Yes SS will need to open a case but it would essentially be to agree how contact will be arranged, may need your ex to have an assessment.
My partner is going through the courts to get them to agree and they can go over SS heads on the matter. SS would then need to respect the judges decision on the level of contact.
My partner is going through the courts to get them to agree and they can go over SS heads on the matter. SS would then need to respect the judges decision on the level of contact.
Hi I just wanted to respond to the bit about a safeguarding assessment. I'm six months since the knock and initially said to SS that my 2 kids would have no contact except on phone (world had been blown apart and I was figuring everything out). After 3 months he was RUI and looking on here I realised it was likely I'd get no new info for a year plus. I decided that I could consider supervised contact. I called SS and they began the assessment process. I told them that I felt like the kids were really missing their father and that I wanted to look into providing supervised visits. I felt so much shame and fear and the idea of being judged was awful. But the actual process was okay. I was lucky to have a SW visit who saw straight away how happy my kids are. It was a 2hr interview at my house. It was hard to talk about the trauma if the knock and be asked about relationship etc but I was honest and open. She assessed me as protective. It took ages for the paperwork to go through but nearly 3 months later they have had some contact. I know this is different as my ex is not in prison, but I just wanted to let you know that the fear of an SS assessment might be worse than the reality. I also realise that ppl on here have had difficulty with SS but just wanted to share my experience.
Either way I would contact SS to check if it's possible that letter writing would contradict what they are expecting. I feel it would be way worse if they found out and didn't like it.
Wishing you all the best x
Either way I would contact SS to check if it's possible that letter writing would contradict what they are expecting. I feel it would be way worse if they found out and didn't like it.
Wishing you all the best x
Thanks all.
I really appreciate the replies.
My children are hurting more from not seeing him or being able to have contact.
Thanks so much
I really appreciate the replies.
My children are hurting more from not seeing him or being able to have contact.
Thanks so much