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Ok last time I mention name change haha

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sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Tue August 3, 2021 7:56pmReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:08pm

Blueshoes

Member since
July 2021

24 posts

Posted Tue August 3, 2021 8:14pmReport post

Hi Sadmum,

I'm also really trying to fathom whether it's worthwhile my partner changing his name.

He currently uses his Mother's maiden name, but could change it to his fathers name. I'm really torn about it to be honest. My partner doesn't really want to change it, he says he feels as if he's running away from his punishment if he does, but it's for my sake more than anything that he does it... not really very helpful I know but from what I've read, I think the earlier the change the better...but I guess it's up to the judge on the day, as always ????‍??

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Tue August 3, 2021 8:27pmReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:09pm

Luxy

Member since
April 2020

55 posts

Posted Tue August 3, 2021 8:56pmReport post

Hi Sadmum, I can only speak for us, but my son changed his name after arrest and it was only new name read out in court. It was certainly, for us, the best thing he did. I think how nice the police are towards him has a lot to do with it, they were brilliant with us. Wishing you the very best at this horrific time , you will get through it

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Tue August 3, 2021 9:03pmReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:09pm

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Tue August 3, 2021 10:19pmReport post

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Dottie

Member since
June 2019

236 posts

Posted Tue August 3, 2021 10:44pmReport post

Sadmum,

My husband changed his name between being arrested and being charged and I was in contact with the oic with regards to his previous name not being read out in court and being on the court listings. We had some very good reasons why it would have put my family and I into danger and a crime reference number to back up my story so he totally understood and said he would pass on my letter to the cps and remind them. He did say though that my husbands previous name would be read out in court as that's what he was arrested as. So when it came to plea hearing I noted that it had been listed as his previous name not his new name. I got in contact with the oic again and he got the court listing changed. On the day of both plea and sentencing his previous name was not mentioned. What I take from this is we were lucky and it doesn't always go that way. We had a decent oic who was nothing but helpful to me and very understanding of the situation I was put in and we were very lucky that there were no reporters. It's a gamble and only you will be able to decide what to do. My husband can now go back to his previous name. I will remain having my maiden name which I reverted to almost immediately.
I hope whatever you choose it works out for you. Xx

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Wed August 4, 2021 11:14amReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:10pm

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Wed August 4, 2021 3:37pmReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:10pm

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Fri August 6, 2021 10:46amReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:10pm

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Fri August 6, 2021 11:23amReport post

Sadmum

We have decided my son will change his name now, we were told that they could not guarantee his old name being read out. I was willing to run the risk just incase. So the way I think of it is this he has had said name 21 years, he has a long life to live with a new name .. yes people who have found out have walked away so be it there choice, my son will be a better person from this horrendous journey so its better to cut all ties with regards the old name including friends . He will start a new chapter they are young enough x

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Sat August 7, 2021 7:24pmReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:10pm

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Sun August 8, 2021 1:31pmReport post

Sadmum

Thank you, are you on mumsnet ? As I wouldn't do government one as not many places accept it as you've made it yourself. We paid £30 for ours with 2 copies .. I can't link on here but can on mumsnet x

sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Sun August 8, 2021 4:08pmReport post

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Edited Thu December 23, 2021 10:08pm

Becky1234

Member since
March 2021

208 posts

Posted Sun August 8, 2021 9:16pmReport post

Sadmum

Unenrolled is fine but when you do it yourself it looks unofficial I tried on Friday. Maybe I should of done parchment paper I don't know but I have changed names before and it looked nothing like my one . ( my one was dome by a solicitor ) So decided with my sons to just pay for 2 copies .. so we don't get turned down for things x