Is this normal?
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Morning all.
just off the phone to the helpline didn't find much help tbh
csn I ask is it normal to dread every door knock or every car that pulls up outside your house you don't recognise, I feel I live a life of fear and unknown
can anyone help
struggling and alone
just off the phone to the helpline didn't find much help tbh
csn I ask is it normal to dread every door knock or every car that pulls up outside your house you don't recognise, I feel I live a life of fear and unknown
can anyone help
struggling and alone
Hi Cookie
I'd say it's normal. I'm the same. It's only been two weeks but yes, every knock, every phone call my anxiety levels go into overdrive.
Hopefully it will ease over time especially as I know this is a drawn out process.
big hugs to you
I'd say it's normal. I'm the same. It's only been two weeks but yes, every knock, every phone call my anxiety levels go into overdrive.
Hopefully it will ease over time especially as I know this is a drawn out process.
big hugs to you
Sorry your here but yes it's normal we got the knock 5 months ago and if a number I don't know rang or someone knocked on door o was paralysed with fear o didn't leave my house I kept the blinds drawn but started talking therapy and then went onto cbt and am now at a point I can go out without a panic attack I am also on antidepressants from. Doctors. It does get easier but for now look after yourself speak to doctor and use the help line my first call seemed pointless but I was In no mind to take on any information for a good few days I called daily for a week. So take time speak to doctor and be kind to yourself
It is totally normal. I'm 5 months in and I have to say it gets better. The PO told us that they would contact hubbie by phone if they needed to speak to him again and wouldn't ever turn up at the house, so that made me feel so much better.
I wasn't there for the knock bit I get paranoid when I see police cars, especially if near the house.
Unless it is a surprise visit from the police, as part of the SOR, my partner gets a call in advance. During these visits and surprise visits the police will be in civilian uniform. My understanding would be of my partner was to be arrested (e.g. breach of SOR) he would be asked to hand himself in.
Unless it is a surprise visit from the police, as part of the SOR, my partner gets a call in advance. During these visits and surprise visits the police will be in civilian uniform. My understanding would be of my partner was to be arrested (e.g. breach of SOR) he would be asked to hand himself in.
Thank you all I'm 9 months in I haven't used this forum or helpline much I've tried to go it alone but really struggling.
need to talk to people who understand and have been through this or going through it, it's like the police come invade ur house then leave you without a care or second thought there's no update, I never know weather to call and ask or if I do is that bad on me, there is not check in to see how your getting on with life I felt really let down, to point I would love to organise something for people in this situation to actually speak with like minded people. Other than this page is there anything x
need to talk to people who understand and have been through this or going through it, it's like the police come invade ur house then leave you without a care or second thought there's no update, I never know weather to call and ask or if I do is that bad on me, there is not check in to see how your getting on with life I felt really let down, to point I would love to organise something for people in this situation to actually speak with like minded people. Other than this page is there anything x
I have just joined that place not sure how to use it but did just add my name on a thread karenlc
Hi,
We are 3 years from the knock, 8 months since had been sentenced, ( suspended for 2 years) my husband doesn't live us but me and my eldest still jump when the door goes, it doesn't help that our local delivery driver for out parcels bangs he'll out of the door, we jump every time, I'd like to say it gets easier but it hasn't so far
We are 3 years from the knock, 8 months since had been sentenced, ( suspended for 2 years) my husband doesn't live us but me and my eldest still jump when the door goes, it doesn't help that our local delivery driver for out parcels bangs he'll out of the door, we jump every time, I'd like to say it gets easier but it hasn't so far
Hi cookie
It is normal to dread every knock, it does get easier over time, but it's always there.
I never found the helpline helped me, I only rang once.
My hub has done his first year of sentence, and we have only seen the police once. I did say to them how much I found the whole process scary and very lonely, with no support for us family members.They said well you got each other for support, myself and hub still together and left. It's not what I was saying, my hub has lots of support They really didn't care.
It is a lonely life, it's a strange new normal.
Take care of you
Virtual hugs
Anne
It is normal to dread every knock, it does get easier over time, but it's always there.
I never found the helpline helped me, I only rang once.
My hub has done his first year of sentence, and we have only seen the police once. I did say to them how much I found the whole process scary and very lonely, with no support for us family members.They said well you got each other for support, myself and hub still together and left. It's not what I was saying, my hub has lots of support They really didn't care.
It is a lonely life, it's a strange new normal.
Take care of you
Virtual hugs
Anne
Thank you Anne it really is a strange life especially when people on our street ask where he is or friends comment and say things how do u approach that I get knots in my stomach and feel sick, I say we're having some space.
I have no idea where our life leads will we be together I don't know part of me says yes he's my husband I love him but then half me is like no way if he did do this I don't think my family will be accepting
I have no idea where our life leads will we be together I don't know part of me says yes he's my husband I love him but then half me is like no way if he did do this I don't think my family will be accepting
Lee1969 ...i too would like to be in touch with others rarher than here ? Not sure where to go though xx thanks in advance
Susie
Susie
Hi yes 2 months in from the knock i dread the door or phone going .. we are in Scotland the police can turn up anytime and search the house again . Living on my nerves .. xx
Susie
Susie
A little better
it does get a little better am a year and a half in since the knock and it is a little easier but you still always worry I agree there should be help out there for family's I have just done the 5 week course and fell like I have made friends for life it's so nice to know your not the only one out there for all it's a horrible road to be travelling down.
please take care laddies and be kind to yourself
big hugs
it does get a little better am a year and a half in since the knock and it is a little easier but you still always worry I agree there should be help out there for family's I have just done the 5 week course and fell like I have made friends for life it's so nice to know your not the only one out there for all it's a horrible road to be travelling down.
please take care laddies and be kind to yourself
big hugs
Hi Susie65,
I don't no if u have seen I had replied to u a day later I think but I'm Dawn144 on mums net or if u r on fb u can message through there
I don't no if u have seen I had replied to u a day later I think but I'm Dawn144 on mums net or if u r on fb u can message through there
Thanks dawn44 i juat saw you yesyerday .. thankyou xx im not on fb xx i came off all social media xx will try through mums net xx thankyou
I also feel like this. its 8 weeks today since the knock i can't even have the bedroom window open on a night as it starts a panick attack any time i hear a door in the night. i have two young children to look after so my husband has had to move out. I'm hoping it gets easier it would be lovely to try and speak to other people going through this too. i tried the help line once a day after and was basically told its all new and i will come to terms with it. my husband as been given help by everyone it feels as if I'm the one thats done all this sometimes.
Scared and confused
totally relate with this lovely feel exactly the same in regards to husband help and support even his family make me feel I'm the bad guy
totally relate with this lovely feel exactly the same in regards to husband help and support even his family make me feel I'm the bad guy
4 years for me and I'm still terrified of every knock at the door and unknown phone number, or if the police come down my road, I don't think this fear will ever stop.
cookie
yes everyone makes it feel as if we should of known this was happening as id we was keeping it secret for them. luckily my parents and husbands have been there for us both throughout it all so far. but now nobody seems to want to help my husband so its like we're going around in circles
yes everyone makes it feel as if we should of known this was happening as id we was keeping it secret for them. luckily my parents and husbands have been there for us both throughout it all so far. but now nobody seems to want to help my husband so its like we're going around in circles