Is it inevitable he will lose his job?
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my husband is currently under investigation for facilitating to sexually abuse a minor, he hasn’t downloaded images but has been in conversations with other likewisepeople about this, he says he never intended to meet anybody or looked at images of anybody and actually did not believe the minor existed, to him it was fantasy, however because of these conversations we are now in the position we are in, trying to be practical and preparing ourselves for what maybe ( I am standing by him although we are living apart as per ss instructions) I’ve read so many stories about husbands losing their jobs but is this inevitable? His job does not involve children but does involve a lot of travelling, how do others cope with the financial loss? We have to live apart so currently paying double everything! Does anybody have any positive outcomes with regards to this? It may sound shallow that it’s what I’m thinking of but like I say I’m trying to be practical and prepared and it helps me emotionally if I can plan!
thanks in advance
JB
thanks in advance
JB
Sorry, forgot to ask also do the police have to inform his employer? How does it work?
Thanks again
Thanks again
Hey JB72,
Hope you are keeping your chin up and working through things day by day.
From every conversation we have had with unions, LF, counsellor etc we have been told that it’s likely mine will loose job due to bringing the company into disrepute. Mine doesn’t work with children or vulnerable adults but he does travel a lot and does also work with a lot of charities etc and is out in the community not office based.
I think it is a case by case basis as per usual with these things and will depend on your husbands contract. If he hasn’t been charged yet then he doesn’t need to disclose usually unless contract states that he has to if under investigation. Most company’s have a clause in contract that states if charged then they have to be informed.
Police won’t inform employer unless his role is with children etc.
If he has a union worth talking to them but first thing is to check his employee handbook/ contract.
are you any further along with police investigation since we last caught up?
ttkit
Hope you are keeping your chin up and working through things day by day.
From every conversation we have had with unions, LF, counsellor etc we have been told that it’s likely mine will loose job due to bringing the company into disrepute. Mine doesn’t work with children or vulnerable adults but he does travel a lot and does also work with a lot of charities etc and is out in the community not office based.
I think it is a case by case basis as per usual with these things and will depend on your husbands contract. If he hasn’t been charged yet then he doesn’t need to disclose usually unless contract states that he has to if under investigation. Most company’s have a clause in contract that states if charged then they have to be informed.
Police won’t inform employer unless his role is with children etc.
If he has a union worth talking to them but first thing is to check his employee handbook/ contract.
are you any further along with police investigation since we last caught up?
ttkit
Also it is not shallow,
Finances are one of the most stressful things for any couple as I would know I’ve been in financial services across all personal sectors for years and see what stress day to day finances cause let alone dealing with what we are dealing with. It’s being practice to make sure you can deal with what you need to financially for you and your family.
Im doing the exact same thing!
Ttkit
Finances are one of the most stressful things for any couple as I would know I’ve been in financial services across all personal sectors for years and see what stress day to day finances cause let alone dealing with what we are dealing with. It’s being practice to make sure you can deal with what you need to financially for you and your family.
Im doing the exact same thing!
Ttkit
I dont think there is a straight forward answer. First he needs to read his contract to see if it states he must inform them of any convictions. The I guess it depends what his sentence is and what restrictions are given. Travelling may be an issue if he needs to inform probation/police of his location if he's put on the sex offenders register because he will need to inform them if he is away for more than so many nights/days. But he will need to discuss that with probation and police. He may be advised to tell his employer by probation. It's not an automatic thing that he will lose his job it depends what he does and whats in his contract etc.
Hi TTKIT
thanks for your reply, that makes sense, no still nothing and to be honest I’m not expecting to hear anything until they’ve looked at all the devices which they said would be about 9 months, like you I’m trying to be practical, like you said it helps, anything new with you and yours?
JB X
thanks for your reply, that makes sense, no still nothing and to be honest I’m not expecting to hear anything until they’ve looked at all the devices which they said would be about 9 months, like you I’m trying to be practical, like you said it helps, anything new with you and yours?
JB X
Thanks maria
so sorry to read about your husband, your story was slightly similar to mine and like you said his charge sounded really harsh! Thanks for the advice despite what your going through, stay strong
JB
so sorry to read about your husband, your story was slightly similar to mine and like you said his charge sounded really harsh! Thanks for the advice despite what your going through, stay strong
JB
Hi JB72,
We are on holiday at the moment and hopefully when we get back tomorrow morning the investigating officer has said she will have his work laptop done as his work phone is already done and we can have those back.
9 months is such a long time, part of me wants it done sooner but part of me prays it is 9 months as means we can get husband a lot of treatment and also there is chance of him being made redundant that we want to take but have to wait for that to come into play.
if you haven’t been on holiday yet I hope your looking forward to it as it has done both me and him the world of good. What we are going through is awful but I’m trying to focus on whatever positive I can find.
ttkit
We are on holiday at the moment and hopefully when we get back tomorrow morning the investigating officer has said she will have his work laptop done as his work phone is already done and we can have those back.
9 months is such a long time, part of me wants it done sooner but part of me prays it is 9 months as means we can get husband a lot of treatment and also there is chance of him being made redundant that we want to take but have to wait for that to come into play.
if you haven’t been on holiday yet I hope your looking forward to it as it has done both me and him the world of good. What we are going through is awful but I’m trying to focus on whatever positive I can find.
ttkit
Yeah we’re still away actually, not home till Sunday, which I’m not looking forward to When we have to go back to living separately again although we’ve had separate rooms here we’ve still been together all day which has been almost normal! Glad the breaks done you both good :)
Hi
The police said they would inform my husband's work because he works from home, travels a lot but uses the internet.
They didn't tell them in the end although maybe they are waiting until he's been sentenced.
I think the 'bringing the company into disrepute' just about covers how they can get rid of people.
You're doing really well, stay strong xx
The police said they would inform my husband's work because he works from home, travels a lot but uses the internet.
They didn't tell them in the end although maybe they are waiting until he's been sentenced.
I think the 'bringing the company into disrepute' just about covers how they can get rid of people.
You're doing really well, stay strong xx
Thanks Tracy
my hubby works from home too, it’s a relatively new job and we’re just hoping this whole thing goes on for a while so he can earn enough and we can save for the worst case scenario, even though the limbo is hell I most of the time put my head in the sand and carry on like nothing is happening, I mean how else can we live?
thanks again xx
my hubby works from home too, it’s a relatively new job and we’re just hoping this whole thing goes on for a while so he can earn enough and we can save for the worst case scenario, even though the limbo is hell I most of the time put my head in the sand and carry on like nothing is happening, I mean how else can we live?
thanks again xx
Hey all, 10 weeks post knock, My partner is under investigation for cat b/c images.
He is attending therapy every week, only uses his phone for maps & emails only (I’ve blocked everything else using a parental password!). Everything is heading in the right direction it seems.
He is a hgv driver, 1 or 2 nights out a week at the most. We have read his contract and when convicted will have to disclose it. IF he manages to keep his job, is it possible to do this kind of job? And then there’s community service, are there even jobs out there who employ these men given they may need time off?
He is attending therapy every week, only uses his phone for maps & emails only (I’ve blocked everything else using a parental password!). Everything is heading in the right direction it seems.
He is a hgv driver, 1 or 2 nights out a week at the most. We have read his contract and when convicted will have to disclose it. IF he manages to keep his job, is it possible to do this kind of job? And then there’s community service, are there even jobs out there who employ these men given they may need time off?
Hey E,
From what I’ve read it depends on sentence and also on his probation officer. Generally people on suspended or community sentences have to inform the probation service when away from their home so I think if he works with his probation officer then should be able to achieve something with some forward planning.
I’m not sure on how the community service works but I know that some people do it on their days off/evenings. Some employers may allow it to be taken as unpaid? Again case by case.
Stay positive and keep strong :-)
ttkit
From what I’ve read it depends on sentence and also on his probation officer. Generally people on suspended or community sentences have to inform the probation service when away from their home so I think if he works with his probation officer then should be able to achieve something with some forward planning.
I’m not sure on how the community service works but I know that some people do it on their days off/evenings. Some employers may allow it to be taken as unpaid? Again case by case.
Stay positive and keep strong :-)
ttkit
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I’ve told him to inform his boss as soon as he is charged. With time on our side we are saving like mad just incase. Has anyone’s partners gone onto find other employment, or been able to stay in their jobs?
I would have thought the probation service would work with someone who was still employed, I'm sure they could work round that.
I still think different areas have different rules, the doesn't appear to be any kind of consistency!
Xx
I still think different areas have different rules, the doesn't appear to be any kind of consistency!
Xx
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My oh was sent to prison on Tuesday and I had the job of informing his work .....
He had told two of his supervisors what was going on as he was arrested at work so could not hide it not to say he would of. And they said that they where fine and carry on. But he never told them about the court date he just booked the day off as holiday as his baraster told him he would not get prison time, this was not the case as his pre scentensing report said there was nothing available for him to do with probation out in the community ( should have guess when at the weekend it was on the news about the private firm that runs our probation is going under fast and no funds are available ) so when I got home I rang his work and spoke to one of the supervisors that knew and they then told the owner of the company she rang me I explained things and she was lovely to the point that she wants to see him and right to him she is keeping his job open for him. She was so angry with his barista because they never asked for a personal reference thing to support him in court and about what help she is willing to do to help him. So maybe if you give them a call you will be surprised at how people want to help my hubby has to travel with his work and the police ect have all been fine with him working while we have waited to get here from October. Plus it will look better if he knows for definitely if he has been able to keep his job going they see it as less chance of reafending they told us as my husband's risk level will come down lots with probation knowing he is going straight back to work
I hope this has helped.
He had told two of his supervisors what was going on as he was arrested at work so could not hide it not to say he would of. And they said that they where fine and carry on. But he never told them about the court date he just booked the day off as holiday as his baraster told him he would not get prison time, this was not the case as his pre scentensing report said there was nothing available for him to do with probation out in the community ( should have guess when at the weekend it was on the news about the private firm that runs our probation is going under fast and no funds are available ) so when I got home I rang his work and spoke to one of the supervisors that knew and they then told the owner of the company she rang me I explained things and she was lovely to the point that she wants to see him and right to him she is keeping his job open for him. She was so angry with his barista because they never asked for a personal reference thing to support him in court and about what help she is willing to do to help him. So maybe if you give them a call you will be surprised at how people want to help my hubby has to travel with his work and the police ect have all been fine with him working while we have waited to get here from October. Plus it will look better if he knows for definitely if he has been able to keep his job going they see it as less chance of reafending they told us as my husband's risk level will come down lots with probation knowing he is going straight back to work
I hope this has helped.
Vic,
Your last post has brought a smile to my face as it has shown me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and not all employers will turn their backs on their staff.
Keep focusing on the good and June will be here before you know it and you can start to function as a family again :-)
ttkit
Your last post has brought a smile to my face as it has shown me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and not all employers will turn their backs on their staff.
Keep focusing on the good and June will be here before you know it and you can start to function as a family again :-)
ttkit
It's nice to hear that some companies are supportive however I do fear that the majority of firms just hear the reason and then sack people. Why would companies keep people on for things like that as a lot of people are not understanding. My husband told his job when he got the knock. His boss sacked him. Giving a pathetic reason of lying however that was just an excuse. He then went on to get his current job. We have decided not to say anything as I think he would be sacked either way. It's so hard to know what to do for the best. They might be understanding but then again they might not and also we need the money
It all depends on your contract, as has been said previously. It is important not to lie or keep stuff from your work though. They may be able to find a way around the offence but not telling them is a breach of trust which is usually an immediately sackable offence.
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I've read through his contract and it's not very clear. Doesn't mention anything about convictions only if you have one when applying. I will get him to speak to his probation person. Thing is they will just be able to sack him due to not disclosing so they are able to sack him without it having to be because of the conviction
Just bumping this thread to see if anyone has any new experiences to add x x
I'd love to hear from the original posters to see if they are any further forward?
Hi guys
just seen that my post has been bumped so thought I’d give you an update, so the original charge is no longer an issue as no evidence was found to suggest he met anybody, however, images were found on his devices he says from thumbnails clicked on in chat rooms, there were also several conversations found, we are week 3 into a 4 week turnaround with the cps so am expecting a decision next week which will be exactly a year to the day since the knock! We still don’t know the charges but are expecting possession at least, we are still together but living separately because he is not allowed to live with our daughter and is not allowed in our home so we only have supervised contact (supervised by me thankfully) we have managed to keep this secret from all our friends and family but not sure how that’s going to work once he’s been charged, he’s still working thankfully, but like I say this time next week who knows! I’ve found this forum so helpful over the past year and great for advice, stay strong guys x
just seen that my post has been bumped so thought I’d give you an update, so the original charge is no longer an issue as no evidence was found to suggest he met anybody, however, images were found on his devices he says from thumbnails clicked on in chat rooms, there were also several conversations found, we are week 3 into a 4 week turnaround with the cps so am expecting a decision next week which will be exactly a year to the day since the knock! We still don’t know the charges but are expecting possession at least, we are still together but living separately because he is not allowed to live with our daughter and is not allowed in our home so we only have supervised contact (supervised by me thankfully) we have managed to keep this secret from all our friends and family but not sure how that’s going to work once he’s been charged, he’s still working thankfully, but like I say this time next week who knows! I’ve found this forum so helpful over the past year and great for advice, stay strong guys x
Thank you for the update.
I hope things turn out positively for you xx
I hope things turn out positively for you xx