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PMS... Bare with me

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Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Mon August 9, 2021 9:21pmReport post

This is a really really bizarre question... But... To those who reside with their spouses through this and maybe even though that don't but still have contact with them ... Does the issue get worse and do you feel more angry around PMS time.

Everytime I get PMS any issues I have flare up and since I'm here, you can sort of gather what the issue is

opalfruit

Member since
August 2021

3 posts

Posted Mon August 9, 2021 9:45pmReport post

Hey there,

There is a condition that is called PMDD. Have you looked in to that? My partner gets enraged about every little thing and feelings are amplified.

Your feelings of anger are totally normal at the best of times but it could feel unpleasant if they are amplified.

I think there is treatment for it :)

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Mon August 9, 2021 9:53pmReport post

Yes my poor partner cops for it big time, I bash him all the time, and to be fair he takes it as he knows its all his fault we r where we r, but I do feel bad as we need to move forward and he can't do that if I keep screaming at him like a banshee, I have even told his po wat I'm like obviously I skip the bit about me being on lol xx so it is for me

Susie65

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Mon August 9, 2021 10:28pmReport post

Hey .. im past the pms stage im.of that age !!!

I struggle to be narky with my oh..

But he certainly is narky with me

We are still in same house eat together thats about it ..



I had car trouble few weeks ago normal circumstances we would help each other financialy .. but because of this im paying it myself .. after i got home i said why did you put me in this posiition he just shrugged his shoulders and said "" thats life" ..

I walked out went up stairs to my sofa bed soare room and bawled my eyes out

Its so difficult ...

Sorry wrote a book again its only been 12 tomorrow since the knock

Susie

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Tue August 10, 2021 9:57amReport post

It seems like something a women should be able to control but if I have PMS I am a literally hell hound and I hate it.

Everything comes spilling out but Dawn unlike your partner mine sometimes fights back because he just wants to know what I want and want to do... Which is to have never been out in this position..

Also Susie this isn't just life I can assure you that!

majestictopaz

Member since
December 2019

499 posts

Posted Tue August 10, 2021 12:14pmReport post

I'm horrible when I'm PMSing but I don't tend to flip out in regard to my partner's past. But I am beyond the investigation phase and he was sentenced two years ago. It tends to be my work that makes me upset and angry (thankfully whilst working from home I can cry in peace).

But I wonder if the overall stress of it all has impacted my cycle. I'm currently under investigation as to why my cycles are much longer than the norm (beyond 35 days which is the peak range for normal). I was never really regular anyway but I wonder if stress plays a part. It has been more stressful in the past few months for us to the point I am going to have to disclose to my mum and step dad today....

Orchid94

Member since
July 2021

98 posts

Posted Tue August 10, 2021 1:08pmReport post

Hi all,

Nothing to add for PMS but I just wanted to say good luck MajesticTopaz with disclosure today. I have been following the stories on here and yours has given me hope that me and my partner can work through this. Please reach out if you need too.

x

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Tue August 10, 2021 5:39pmReport post

Hi all,



I guess it will get easier in time, but right now I think it's a case of u caused this u deal with how i/ we feel, none of us asked for this so they should take wat we throw at them. Mine doesn't have a choice he knows he has done wrong and brought shame on us I have lost alot, so it will take a while for things to get better x

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Tue August 10, 2021 8:32pmReport post

Majestic, Ive followed your story as well...

I so hope that disclosing goes okay. You're one of the people that gives others hope here...

As for stress and cycles... I can tell you now, before lockdown occured I was regularly irregular... I would have longer weeks between cycles then a regular four weeks...

Eating and sleeping more than I ever have... My cycles are regular ... Which really makes me believe the idea that cycles are genuinely effected by external circumstances...

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Tue August 10, 2021 8:38pmReport post

Dawn I think we're going through the stages of grief.

I've been surpressing mine for the past five to six months...

now it's hit me like a wave because of a conversation I had with my friends about it...

Everything scares me... I had a conversation with my husband today and he said (paraphrasing) Maybe you just need to be like this ATM... He was referring to being angry, uneasy, uncertain, up and down, confused and more. It really struck me... I hate pain, I'll surpres anything if it means I don't have to experience pain.

So I'm trying to welcome uncertainty, pain, uncomfortable feelings at the moment...

With a view to having less invasive and explosive attacks of feelings...

I've also got another councellor appointment set up and have asked to go back on my antidepressants...

I hate the idea of living on pills but I think I might need to until this investigation is over and my husband has his therapy well underway. Which he is now started assessments for.

I can't help but feel horrible with my feelings of wanting to pull away from our relationship... Wanting to explore other people and options just because it's easier and there is less pain involved but maybe that's what I need to feel right now... And Dawn if you feel need to feel angry right now, please go ahead and scream. ..

I was thinking, I really want to and might one day go out to the middle of the forest and scream the area down just to release...

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Tue August 10, 2021 11:05pmReport post

Hi Blackhound,

Ahh I'm ok, I think my problem is due to the situation with ss and everyone judging me my depression has got worse and so if I feel down he cops for it as I keep saying we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. But I am getting better at it I'm hoping my outbursts r getting less for him x although sometimes I think he is like the kids and just thinks to himself oh here she goes again xx

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

153 posts

Posted Wed August 11, 2021 8:05pmReport post

Blackhound - in response to the original question I definitely find hormone cycles affect my emotions. Both with regards to short temper and feelings of depression. I've been tracking dates and there is correlation between these darker feelings - usually about a week/ few days before I start my period. Its another reason to be kind to yourself when you know certain times are likely to be more emotional x

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Wed August 11, 2021 10:25pmReport post

Cloud,

You genuinely could not have expressed more aptly what happens to me too..

Around a weekish before my period all these emotions come over me like a rush and I explode. It's very cyclical and makes me feel like our problem will never resolve if all that comes out are harsh words during wrong time periods.