Advice on SW visit
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I have already had my visit with the SW and he has seen the children but tomorrow he is meeting my OH.
We currently have an initial contact arrangement which means myself or OH parents can supervise contact but only at Grandparents home (where OH is currently living)
I have asked for this to be amended to contact at the family home, again supervised, and he would still be living at his parents so not overnight.
I have completed a family safety plan and enrolled on a safeguarding course to show I'm serious about mitigating any dangers they envision.
The SW initiallly said he couldn't see any issue with the amendment and would need to get approval from his manager. He later contacted me to say he would need to meet with my OH (we have been asking him to do this for 3 weeks) and the outcome of that meeting would determine whether they would change the agreement.
It's got me and my OH so worried now as he is scared to say anything wrong, my OH wants me to be at the meeting but I'm worried SS will see that as me condoning his behaviour and ultimately change their view of me as a protective parent.
my dealings with our SW so far have not been great (he basically told me I shouldn't be with my partner although I said I have not made any decisions on our relationship yet and won't in the near future, he also said it's a shame I can't tell the children so they understand and probably wouldn't want to see him then anyway (they are 4 and 8)
any advice or stories of similar situations would be really helpful
We currently have an initial contact arrangement which means myself or OH parents can supervise contact but only at Grandparents home (where OH is currently living)
I have asked for this to be amended to contact at the family home, again supervised, and he would still be living at his parents so not overnight.
I have completed a family safety plan and enrolled on a safeguarding course to show I'm serious about mitigating any dangers they envision.
The SW initiallly said he couldn't see any issue with the amendment and would need to get approval from his manager. He later contacted me to say he would need to meet with my OH (we have been asking him to do this for 3 weeks) and the outcome of that meeting would determine whether they would change the agreement.
It's got me and my OH so worried now as he is scared to say anything wrong, my OH wants me to be at the meeting but I'm worried SS will see that as me condoning his behaviour and ultimately change their view of me as a protective parent.
my dealings with our SW so far have not been great (he basically told me I shouldn't be with my partner although I said I have not made any decisions on our relationship yet and won't in the near future, he also said it's a shame I can't tell the children so they understand and probably wouldn't want to see him then anyway (they are 4 and 8)
any advice or stories of similar situations would be really helpful
Hi.
So my social workers so far have been a lot better than that and less judgmental so I would take what I have to say with a pinch of salt!!
When my OH had his one to one with the social worker he too was absolutely terrified. I was too that he would say something stupid to be honest! Before the meeting I called the family rights group to get their advise. And really it was just for him to be honest. And really really be honest. And show remorse if he felt it. Show that he too wanted to protect the children and that he understands why there are restrictions on him and that he is happy to oblige because it's what's best for the kids.
My situation is a bit different as my baby isn't here yet (36 weeks pregnant). So our assessment was pre birth. However, with hard work he is allowed to live at home with us including overnights. (He also isn't on bail only Released under investigation).
In the assessment they did they remarked how my hubby had shown remorse, understanding of his actions and seems honest and truthful. They also remarked how not just me but both of us are very child focused and want baby's best interests to be followed. So your partner needs to remember that he HAS to make it all about the children. How he is sorry for hurting them by not being there, how he wants to be able to visit at home as best for them, how being supervised is upsetting to him but he is willing and understands why that's the best for now ect ect.
He needs to do it alone too. As you don't want it to look like you are guiding his answers. It will be tough but he will be able to do it I'm sure.
So my social workers so far have been a lot better than that and less judgmental so I would take what I have to say with a pinch of salt!!
When my OH had his one to one with the social worker he too was absolutely terrified. I was too that he would say something stupid to be honest! Before the meeting I called the family rights group to get their advise. And really it was just for him to be honest. And really really be honest. And show remorse if he felt it. Show that he too wanted to protect the children and that he understands why there are restrictions on him and that he is happy to oblige because it's what's best for the kids.
My situation is a bit different as my baby isn't here yet (36 weeks pregnant). So our assessment was pre birth. However, with hard work he is allowed to live at home with us including overnights. (He also isn't on bail only Released under investigation).
In the assessment they did they remarked how my hubby had shown remorse, understanding of his actions and seems honest and truthful. They also remarked how not just me but both of us are very child focused and want baby's best interests to be followed. So your partner needs to remember that he HAS to make it all about the children. How he is sorry for hurting them by not being there, how he wants to be able to visit at home as best for them, how being supervised is upsetting to him but he is willing and understands why that's the best for now ect ect.
He needs to do it alone too. As you don't want it to look like you are guiding his answers. It will be tough but he will be able to do it I'm sure.