Leaving my partner.
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Evening everyone,
I'm just over 6 months since the knock. My partner isn't living with us at the moment but our children have supervised contact.
I'm just wondering if any of you decided you didn't want to stay later on through the process.
Initially I didn't see it possible to stay at all and as time has gone on and my partner has been very honest and is addressing his behaviour, it's become natural to slip into a false sense of security in terms of our romantic relationship and I feel is giving both parties a sense of hope for the future.
However, I find this so confusing. I don't think that is what I want but I suppose I feel guilty for not saying that at the start. I feel like I'm letting him down when he needs me even though none of this is my doing.
I guess I'm just looking for a sense of comfort that I'm not alone in feeling like this.
I'm absolutely heartbroken but I don't know that I can put myself through it in the long run as a couple.
x
I'm just over 6 months since the knock. My partner isn't living with us at the moment but our children have supervised contact.
I'm just wondering if any of you decided you didn't want to stay later on through the process.
Initially I didn't see it possible to stay at all and as time has gone on and my partner has been very honest and is addressing his behaviour, it's become natural to slip into a false sense of security in terms of our romantic relationship and I feel is giving both parties a sense of hope for the future.
However, I find this so confusing. I don't think that is what I want but I suppose I feel guilty for not saying that at the start. I feel like I'm letting him down when he needs me even though none of this is my doing.
I guess I'm just looking for a sense of comfort that I'm not alone in feeling like this.
I'm absolutely heartbroken but I don't know that I can put myself through it in the long run as a couple.
x
Hi Gia 456, it's an awful position to be in, you do what feels right for you, some people stay, some leave, the most important thing is that it's what you want, and it's right for you
It's really difficult and I totally get the sense of romanticism coming back to your life, even given the fact that this investigation looms over you causing a sense of doubt on your futures... We've been maintaining our ordinary lives however...
We both do therapy to address our individual thoughts and concerns. He's working on himself, including his issue with alcohol through a program...
Very important for both of us is that we make non committal plans for the future (i.e. a holiday, day trips) and always now address conversations with 'if were still together'. This makes things clear that it's not a soliday foundation for the future but that's we're not completely finished yet... When the investigation goes from reviewing the evidence to the next step and we know what he's facing (i.e caution or courts) then we can decide from there...
It's vital to have a clear indication of where you stand now and where you might stand when the investigation develops.
We both do therapy to address our individual thoughts and concerns. He's working on himself, including his issue with alcohol through a program...
Very important for both of us is that we make non committal plans for the future (i.e. a holiday, day trips) and always now address conversations with 'if were still together'. This makes things clear that it's not a soliday foundation for the future but that's we're not completely finished yet... When the investigation goes from reviewing the evidence to the next step and we know what he's facing (i.e caution or courts) then we can decide from there...
It's vital to have a clear indication of where you stand now and where you might stand when the investigation develops.