Arguing with 17 year old about letting SS see her bedroom
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My 17 year old had had advice from her dad (useless waste of space from a previous relationship) that she can refuse to let SW see her tip of a bedroom. He's told her it's her personal space and she's told me to not allow them in her room.
One of the on going arguments I have with her and social services is is about the state of her room. No matter how many times I clean it it always ends up back in a mess like before so I refuse to clean it anymore. I know I'll end up giving in and cleaning it because I'll get sick of them getting at me. It causes me no end of stress even writing this has sent my anxiety sky high. I think I might invite her dad over to help her tidy it.
sorry for the rant again
One of the on going arguments I have with her and social services is is about the state of her room. No matter how many times I clean it it always ends up back in a mess like before so I refuse to clean it anymore. I know I'll end up giving in and cleaning it because I'll get sick of them getting at me. It causes me no end of stress even writing this has sent my anxiety sky high. I think I might invite her dad over to help her tidy it.
sorry for the rant again
Okay, so this might seem completely way out there. I know she's 17, so should be allowed her privacy and personal space etc. It's my son who has been in trouble, and one of many issues is his room etc. Have you thought about pre-empting SS and coming up with a plan for your daughter? Expectations, conseqeuences and privileges? So, the expectations can be all encompassing like, clothes put away, dishes brought down that day and washed or in the dishwasher, make up in a tub etc. Then the consequences could be, oh no idea with girls but the only thing I have left for my son is tv privileges taken away for an hour at a time. Then the privileges, is based on a healthy lifestyle so.. for me it's, you can earn yourself a double bed or new carpet and your room will feel and smell nicer as a result.
I have had more extreme issues than you I think re bedroom hygiene, but coming up with that sort of plan helped me. It made SS realise I had a long term plan and was pre-empting issues which has gone in my favour (apparently very protective parent because I went long term ). I also said I understood that this was a process and about developing the tools to live a healthy lifestyle.
I don't normally comment but do read and you seem to have had such a crap deal. I'm just trying to be helpful and sorry if it comes across as being someone who is trying to teach you to suck eggs. That's a phrase isn't it?
heart goes out to you. Lots of love x
I have had more extreme issues than you I think re bedroom hygiene, but coming up with that sort of plan helped me. It made SS realise I had a long term plan and was pre-empting issues which has gone in my favour (apparently very protective parent because I went long term ). I also said I understood that this was a process and about developing the tools to live a healthy lifestyle.
I don't normally comment but do read and you seem to have had such a crap deal. I'm just trying to be helpful and sorry if it comes across as being someone who is trying to teach you to suck eggs. That's a phrase isn't it?
heart goes out to you. Lots of love x
My son is also 17 abs after initial, I don't think so, it seems to be working. I mean, I cut him slack, but give him 24 hours warning that I'm coming in to check his room and, (omg) it seems to be working!
Thank you everyone. Nothing seem to work with her. The little and often plan which others swear by doesn't have any effect on her. It's just me and her this weekend so looks like I'm gonna have to roll my sleeves up and get on with it