Loved ones in prison
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So my husband was sent to prison on Tuesday for 8months they have said he will do 4 of them
How dose every one cope with the separation. He has not been able to live at home with me and the kids but has been here everyday for supervised visits but now I am starting to feel so lost. The kids have not really said much about dad not coming and I am trying to keep us busy doing things. It has been in the papers twice the first time was not as bad as this latest one and people who where standing by me now don't want to while I am staying with him. Head is all over the place.
I can still see the man I feel in love with before all of this and he has put in steps to recovery even before being charged and court and is taking all the help he can get inside prison. I have spoke to him he is ok as he can be. I am in two minds of going to visit him as I have never ever steped near a prison before and finding the thought of one very daunting. Has anyone ever visited there loved one ...what was it like .... Did it help seeing them . I have already said I will not under any circumstances be taking the children there and I have told him that and he agreed.
Child services came out to see me and the kids she spoke to the kids on there own and with my eldest daughter on her own and she has said I am doing a fantastic job and they have no concerns at all and has also said the process of when my husband comes out. They are happy with working together to get the work done to be a family unit again but now I have alot of people around here that think I am not protecting my children but I am and I always will I have been upfront with everyone who has anything to do with my children ie teacher doctor ect about the situation and have never hide it more so for some help and support I am willing to do everything that is asked so why can't people just leave me be he is prison not around here and will not move back here I am looking to move closer to his family for support as I don't have much family and very isolated where I am I need to be back in work and living my life and working on the work that needs to be done to be happy again
When will I start to feel a bit normal again I thought after court I would be ok and I was for a few days but now it is all starting to sink in
How dose every one cope with the separation. He has not been able to live at home with me and the kids but has been here everyday for supervised visits but now I am starting to feel so lost. The kids have not really said much about dad not coming and I am trying to keep us busy doing things. It has been in the papers twice the first time was not as bad as this latest one and people who where standing by me now don't want to while I am staying with him. Head is all over the place.
I can still see the man I feel in love with before all of this and he has put in steps to recovery even before being charged and court and is taking all the help he can get inside prison. I have spoke to him he is ok as he can be. I am in two minds of going to visit him as I have never ever steped near a prison before and finding the thought of one very daunting. Has anyone ever visited there loved one ...what was it like .... Did it help seeing them . I have already said I will not under any circumstances be taking the children there and I have told him that and he agreed.
Child services came out to see me and the kids she spoke to the kids on there own and with my eldest daughter on her own and she has said I am doing a fantastic job and they have no concerns at all and has also said the process of when my husband comes out. They are happy with working together to get the work done to be a family unit again but now I have alot of people around here that think I am not protecting my children but I am and I always will I have been upfront with everyone who has anything to do with my children ie teacher doctor ect about the situation and have never hide it more so for some help and support I am willing to do everything that is asked so why can't people just leave me be he is prison not around here and will not move back here I am looking to move closer to his family for support as I don't have much family and very isolated where I am I need to be back in work and living my life and working on the work that needs to be done to be happy again
When will I start to feel a bit normal again I thought after court I would be ok and I was for a few days but now it is all starting to sink in
Vic87 I feel the hardest of all this is the judgement you get from others. People assume just because hes in prison that hes a dangerous man etc. I still don't understand the way the law deals with this sort of thing.
It's good SS are working with you. I do feel they aren't consistent though as my one just wanted to hear that we are separated and didn't even ask if I wanted to work things through etc.
Will he have support when he comes out such as a probation officer or is he just left to get on with things? Will he have a SHPO? X
It's good SS are working with you. I do feel they aren't consistent though as my one just wanted to hear that we are separated and didn't even ask if I wanted to work things through etc.
Will he have support when he comes out such as a probation officer or is he just left to get on with things? Will he have a SHPO? X
He is on shpo for the next ten years and I think he will have probation as he won't be serving the whole scentensing So fingers crossed he will have help and support when he comes out
It think things will get better soon with time I am just trying to find some where else to live to have a fresh start with the kids
It think things will get better soon with time I am just trying to find some where else to live to have a fresh start with the kids
Hi vic87. I hope he gets support etc. That is what probation are for. It will take a while for all of us in this situation but we will get there.
Sounds like you are in a similar situation as me. I'm looking to get my own mortgage with the kids but still keep a positive relationship as I feel my husband also needs support from us as a family as that will keep him focused and positive x
Sounds like you are in a similar situation as me. I'm looking to get my own mortgage with the kids but still keep a positive relationship as I feel my husband also needs support from us as a family as that will keep him focused and positive x
Hi
dont have any experience of visiting in prison but there are lots of organisations out there that help families with people in prison - even if it is just more info for you.
You must miss him terribly - you can do it though.
For support after prison then Family Rights Group are good - they have an anonymous forum too and there are threads on there for people in similar situations.
Sending love x
dont have any experience of visiting in prison but there are lots of organisations out there that help families with people in prison - even if it is just more info for you.
You must miss him terribly - you can do it though.
For support after prison then Family Rights Group are good - they have an anonymous forum too and there are threads on there for people in similar situations.
Sending love x
Hi vic87
i do have experience of prison visiting as my dad was sent down for 4 years (unrelated to this subject) when I was in my early 20’s, that’s over 20 years ago now but I imagine the system is still the same, depending on which category prison he goes to depends on the level of security you go through to visit, we had to go through a system which is very similar to airport security, ie, metal detectors, scanners etc, I took my little boy several times to visit and it didn’t phase him, they are actually quite child friendly places as you can imagine families visit all the time, they had play areas and TVs, a tuck shop etc, it’s not all bad, hope that helps xx
i do have experience of prison visiting as my dad was sent down for 4 years (unrelated to this subject) when I was in my early 20’s, that’s over 20 years ago now but I imagine the system is still the same, depending on which category prison he goes to depends on the level of security you go through to visit, we had to go through a system which is very similar to airport security, ie, metal detectors, scanners etc, I took my little boy several times to visit and it didn’t phase him, they are actually quite child friendly places as you can imagine families visit all the time, they had play areas and TVs, a tuck shop etc, it’s not all bad, hope that helps xx
Hi Vic
i do have experience sadly of prison visits. My son has been in 3 different prisons now since February last year. Usually the prison itself has a support network the ones I have come across are PACT & CIRCLES. Take a look at their websites as there is loads of visiting information for each prison. Personally I think you are wise not Asking the children as it’s 4 months and not a nice environment for them to see. It’s not that bad and I know my son lives for each visit to have something to look forward to & a chance to eat some nice food!! There is generally a good vibe in all visits & everyone just cherishes the small amount of time that they have with their loved ones and genuinely not interested in anyone else visiting. Having said that I do tend to keep myself to myself.
i hope that helps
Exhausted1 x
i do have experience sadly of prison visits. My son has been in 3 different prisons now since February last year. Usually the prison itself has a support network the ones I have come across are PACT & CIRCLES. Take a look at their websites as there is loads of visiting information for each prison. Personally I think you are wise not Asking the children as it’s 4 months and not a nice environment for them to see. It’s not that bad and I know my son lives for each visit to have something to look forward to & a chance to eat some nice food!! There is generally a good vibe in all visits & everyone just cherishes the small amount of time that they have with their loved ones and genuinely not interested in anyone else visiting. Having said that I do tend to keep myself to myself.
i hope that helps
Exhausted1 x