Family and Friends Forum

Almost a year since the knock and we are going backwards instead of forwards. No matter how much I tell my SW and her manager my children have not seen there dad nor am I in contact with him the less they listen. In fact I swear I see my SW eyes glaze over as if she's not listening to me or believing me. Her and her manager have gone away to decide if I need extra support in understanding it all and what my ex has done. I told her no I didn't but I feel they have already made there minds up and they say I will. Which means more intrusion in my life that I don't need. I just want to go to work and be a mum and forget about my ex and what he's done he's in the past now but because of what he's done I'm under the spot light not him. I'm back at the beginning of it all I'm back on unannounced home visits which to me screams they don't believe anything I tell them. I'm now on edge I feel my home is no longer my home everywhere I look I see stuff that they would see as clutter and mess like a shelf full of teddies a storage box full of next size clothes for my children. I've seen them casting a disappointed eye over them.

Today I went to work as normal and finished my shift as usual. As I'm saying my goodbyes the voices in my head were screaming at me to get out of the place I've walked my local high street and popped into shops on my way each time I don't want to be there but I dont want to go home. I was fine until my last online meeting with SW and her manager they don't listen to me yet if I raise my voice and get annoyed I'm in the wrong. My ex did what he did through his selfish needs and sexual desires yet I'm the one being punished I'm the one under the spot light but at the end of the day what I think and feel doesn't matter nor is important to it all. I read posts on here and want to comment and offer advice or share my experiences but i feel like I can't really help anyone as I'm stuck myself.
I wish you reading this good luck and peace of mind as we all could do with a bit right now

x