Divorce
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Hi everyone.
Looking for advice. It's been 3 weeks since we got the knock. My husband was arrested for historical online child sex abuse but has been RUI. He is now living with his mum and a SW has been assigned to safeguard our 6 year old son. I feel like ive become a single mum over night with no family of mine nearby for support. Not that I can handle speaking to my parents yet.
since his arrest he has also told me of a couple of occasions where he has been with other men and women. It all sounds like a different person.
I want a divorce but with all that is going on I don't know when is the right time to start proceedings. My thoughts are that if we're divorced or in the process by the time the investigations are finished, if we are financially settled, if I buy a house for my and my son, then I can protect my son better from any harm that may arise to our current address. I'm thinking once it hits to court if it gets out in the media.
I like to plan ahead and want to protect my son as much as possible. There is inevitably going to be much upset. We'd just upsized our house to our "forever home" and my son loves it here.
I know there probably is no right time. But has anyone had any advice/experience of what our rights are for the divorce/settlement. When did you proceed with a divorce.
Many thanks
Looking for advice. It's been 3 weeks since we got the knock. My husband was arrested for historical online child sex abuse but has been RUI. He is now living with his mum and a SW has been assigned to safeguard our 6 year old son. I feel like ive become a single mum over night with no family of mine nearby for support. Not that I can handle speaking to my parents yet.
since his arrest he has also told me of a couple of occasions where he has been with other men and women. It all sounds like a different person.
I want a divorce but with all that is going on I don't know when is the right time to start proceedings. My thoughts are that if we're divorced or in the process by the time the investigations are finished, if we are financially settled, if I buy a house for my and my son, then I can protect my son better from any harm that may arise to our current address. I'm thinking once it hits to court if it gets out in the media.
I like to plan ahead and want to protect my son as much as possible. There is inevitably going to be much upset. We'd just upsized our house to our "forever home" and my son loves it here.
I know there probably is no right time. But has anyone had any advice/experience of what our rights are for the divorce/settlement. When did you proceed with a divorce.
Many thanks
Hi lilactree
Only just read this and saw it hadn't had a response. I don't have advice but I can tell you a bit about my situation... In the first few weeks after the knock I was really spiralling with thinking about needing to divorce and settle finances and have some idea of what the future might look like. I came up with all kinds of ideas and probably searched Rightmove everywhere in the country. I would get an idea and feel really positive about trying to make some decisions and then when I couldn't actually change anything immediately it made my stress levels and anxiety really bad. I decided to put all that stuff on hold. I realised that I needed some certainty and so changing house and job wouldn't help at that point. I'm now around 8 months in and we're seperated but not yet divorced. He needed more time to come to terms with our seperation and I realised that nothing was going to happen quickly for me. I'm still sticking by my decisions and reasoning from the initial reaction but I'm glad I didn't rush into any hasty decisions. Once the court case is over then I'll be able to move the divorce and those other things forwards.
I wish you luck with your decision making. It's so ridiculously hard having your world and family torn apart in an instant. Give yourself the space to grieve if you can and trust your instincts xx
Only just read this and saw it hadn't had a response. I don't have advice but I can tell you a bit about my situation... In the first few weeks after the knock I was really spiralling with thinking about needing to divorce and settle finances and have some idea of what the future might look like. I came up with all kinds of ideas and probably searched Rightmove everywhere in the country. I would get an idea and feel really positive about trying to make some decisions and then when I couldn't actually change anything immediately it made my stress levels and anxiety really bad. I decided to put all that stuff on hold. I realised that I needed some certainty and so changing house and job wouldn't help at that point. I'm now around 8 months in and we're seperated but not yet divorced. He needed more time to come to terms with our seperation and I realised that nothing was going to happen quickly for me. I'm still sticking by my decisions and reasoning from the initial reaction but I'm glad I didn't rush into any hasty decisions. Once the court case is over then I'll be able to move the divorce and those other things forwards.
I wish you luck with your decision making. It's so ridiculously hard having your world and family torn apart in an instant. Give yourself the space to grieve if you can and trust your instincts xx
From a practical point of view I've been told most solicitors will give you an hour's free advice and the more you can sort out before speaking to them the easier the divorce is xx