Family and Friends Forum

I have also suffered with anxiety attacks. Had a few yesterday and it was the first time in a while. I feel like I can't catch my breath. I find that sitting somewhere quite and concentrating on regulating my breathing helps.

Yep, the doorbell sparked me off last week. Turned out neighbours wanted us to see something in their garden. Deep breaths.

My worst time was about 4-5 months in. Never felt so low in my life. I got into a mindset where I just thought what is the point. Lasted a week or two. Reach out to someone if you can. It will pass even though it might not feel like it. Be kind to yourself x

Me too!
6 months in and I have lost my fight. Fed up of fighting and justifying myself. Could quite happily stay in bed all day!
trying hard to remind myself that I have done anything wrong here, even tho my husband has tried to say his porn addiction has come from not enough intimacy in our relationship (so my fault).
We are putting one foot in front of the other and putting a face on for the world and our children so we are doing the best we can

x

Hi,

I'm past sentence 3 years on from the knock and I have really struggled with my anxiety this past 7 months, so haven't helped hence anxiety through the roof. My daughter was knocking on her bed last night and it sounded like the door I shot up, I hope it will settle soon, I do wonder if we will ever feel normal again xx

3 months on and my anxiety is through the roof .. working doing everything as usual but every time the police come to check him his devices they go through the house too it throws me right back to 25th june ..

The anxiety when someone knocks on the door is unreal even months on. I really wish there was some other way around investigating other than a group of police showing up at your door, giving you horrible news and then rummaging around your house. Horrible :(

Baffled B

I completely agree with people knocking on ur door and wondering wat is going to happen, I hope things will settle just don't no when, I feel like I'm living on my nerves x

Hi,

first time commenting here. Our knock was Sept 20, and my son is at court this week for sentencing.



History- we had a previous knock when he was 14, images on his phone . Devastated us , went through children's hearing and was dismissed. He was a good boy never in trouble. He kept saying he came across these images on google and wanted it stopped. We didn't understand why, but got him private councilling for 18months.

He has now been able to tell us he was groomed online between ages 10- 14. His mental health dipped a couple of years ago and he went online to look for his images. He says he started looking to see why he hadn't been worthy of being abused (!) Broke my heart hearing this , and I hope he's being completely honest.



He called Stop it now the day after his arrest and has completely the 6 week course, and is waiting for a place with first teir councilling to come to tearms with his grooming .



He has plead guilty to having the images on his phone and will find out his punishment.
I love my son to bits but am so angry that he has put myself, husband and daughter in this position.



Im terrified that these vigilante groups will come to our home , and can't sleep or feel safe .



Do you ever feel safe/ comfortable again?



thanks x

I imagine it gets easier with time but it'll probably always be a worry every now and again for years. This whole experience has made me realise this can happen to anyone and even people who haven't done anything (had someone use their WiFi for things they shouldn't) can be in this horrible position right now, you have no rights, just an approximate 2 year sentence waiting for an outcome innocent or guilty.

I've really thought about trying to get something positive out of this by petitioning for change to the investigation process but who is going to sign it or care unless they've been in this position due to the stigma attached to it.

Sending love x

I'm 4 years in and I still suffer every day with anxiety, I ended up in hospital last year with PTSD. I can't have another relationship because he's taken all my trust, so often feel lonely. I know I will never have a relationship. What gets me the most is he's living his life, girlfriends, who know what he's done, disgusting, going out with friends and just back to normal. It's us women and children that have to suffer when we've done nothing.

I can go for days and be relatively OK but I've noticed that very small things can wreck me. Tears and anxiety are never far beneath the surface.

BaffledB, I totally agree with your idea of petitioning for the process to change. Whilst this issue is totally unacceptable, there is no help until someone has been arrested because of the risk of a therapist reporting the offender. And once someone has been arrested there is so little information and, as we know, the timescales are long. I've learnt soooo much during this process and I see it totally differently now that I'm on the 'inside' so to speak - the stigma makes it very hard for all involved. Drugs, alcohol, gambling - all relatively easy to get support for, whether you're an addict or a relative, but not with this.

Rant over and sorry to hijack the thread! Sending hugs to everyone xx